Stephie Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Its almost been 8 months wow that sounds unbelieveable... I saw on facebook last night he was in a relationship I don't know if I'm numb, not that sad, or just so mad I could scream. I have dated several people but they were distractions to get over him. I really do wish him happiness but a part of me always thought we would be together again. So my ? how did you feel when you found out they had finally moved on?
Heatemyheart89 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I felt awful. Really bad. Like a bit nauseous and liike id been kicked in the stomach. But hey they feeling faded pretty quick. Maybe its not a bad thing that he's in a relationship. You can concentrate on yourself now.
TerryV Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Hey, its been a year since the split with my wife. I dont know for sure if she is with someone or not. Up until 3 months ago I checked her facebook profile every day and focussed on relationship status. I guess she has someone, but I only guess that because it seems to hurt inside like I am torturing myself. I dont know why I do this and dont just try and put it out of my mind. I shamefully have had two one night stands and I dont know why I did it just because I thought it may help but it didnt.
sacg Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Hi Terry, responded to your other post and now seen this. Man, checking up on FB is bad, for you, and I'll be honest, that's why your still suffering dude. Split for a year and only three months ago you actually gave up looking. you tortured yourself for 8 months man, (nearly as much as me, :-() Now, like me, your starting to heal. So forget the year apart and stop punishing yourself, your 3 months in man, and I'm only 2. All the best, and delete FB altogether. If you don't know its better that way, trust me. And good for you on the one nighters, LOL, i could only wish....
Author Stephie Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Hey TerryV, I know what you mean about looking at facebook knowing you shouldn't but I do daily but that stops now because without it I wouldn't be numb at this point and without it I wouldn't have sent him an email this morning and without it we wouldn't be fighting back and fourth over texts right now. He blames me for everything the person he is now, why he left, why he has a pos truck that breaks down all the time everything. It's fine because I have finally said no more, I am not to blame you walked out you did this not me. So maybe this is what I needed I needed to know he had truely moved on and isn't coming back so I can give someone a chance, I have done the same dated someone for a week just to make me feel better then move on to the next one and its s****y of me because I am better than that. SO me and you buddy today no more facebook stalking what pleasure does it bring us none? It just hurts more but if I think your doing what I was doing like getting a piece of satisfaction as long as they were single there was hope that everytime you clicked on that fb page and saw single it was a sigh of relief, time to let go. Just let go there is better out there I still have hope and so should you!
habs53 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Delete them from facebook. If you cannot do that, delete your own facebook
TerryV Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Hey TerryV, I know what you mean about looking at facebook knowing you shouldn't but I do daily but that stops now because without it I wouldn't be numb at this point and without it I wouldn't have sent him an email this morning and without it we wouldn't be fighting back and fourth over texts right now. He blames me for everything the person he is now, why he left, why he has a pos truck that breaks down all the time everything. It's fine because I have finally said no more, I am not to blame you walked out you did this not me. So maybe this is what I needed I needed to know he had truely moved on and isn't coming back so I can give someone a chance, I have done the same dated someone for a week just to make me feel better then move on to the next one and its s****y of me because I am better than that. SO me and you buddy today no more facebook stalking what pleasure does it bring us none? It just hurts more but if I think your doing what I was doing like getting a piece of satisfaction as long as they were single there was hope that everytime you clicked on that fb page and saw single it was a sigh of relief, time to let go. Just let go there is better out there I still have hope and so should you! Hi Stephie, well the only way I managed to stop looking at FB is because I realised it set me back and hurt me. Here's how it went: I would get this inner burning desire, I wanna see her face, she if she has new friends, bf etc can I read her wall posts? All day this would burn inside me. I would get home from work, check it and for a split second it was magical, literally a splt second, I felt good again then bang it hit me in the face like a sledgehammer. Man it hurt. I would then sob because I realised what I no longer had. I am the kind of person that has to learn myself, I believe with stuff like this u have to do it when u can convince urself u had too. I used to go for walks for hours on end wondering and it hit me that everytime I looked it set me back, not just days, weeks and did me more harm than good. From then on, every moment I went to I shouted out loud No! I did this every day, then one day went to two days, then whenever I didnt look I cheered for myself. Terry dude you can do this, your doing it, your doing it and if your doing it it means it can be done and not just for a few days but for weeks and then months etc. It worked but slowly x
Cuchara2 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 The best thing to do is simply remove them from your life completely - both in real life (throw out or put away in the back of a cupboard all the things she gave you or that remind you of her) and online - block her on msn, skype, AIM and this is the biggest thing, remove her from facebook. Just click remove friend and that's it. You no longer hurt yourself by going on her profile and seeing things you don't want to see. You no longer waste your time, and you can finally move on!
jokesoflife Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I looked up the facebook pics of a guy who rejected me outright because he didn't want a relationship and avoided long distance relationship BECAUSE he thought our two paths are different and he considers me as a friend out of sympathy..now I saw he is dating his classmate in college..I feel like I was slapped on my face, completly shattered. Because all this time I spend hoping things turn around and he will understand my love, and I also gave into the delusional thinking of some first come first serving love for him. Although I know he will never understand my feelings just have sympathy for me all I tried to do until today was cut all contacts with him from my life, thats the only thing keeping me sane. Hope this wasn't too long and boring
Leandro Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I looked up the facebook pics of a guy who rejected me outright because he didn't want a relationship and avoided long distance relationship BECAUSE he thought our two paths are different and he considers me as a friend out of sympathy..now I saw he is dating his classmate in college..I feel like I was slapped on my face, completly shattered. Because all this time I spend hoping things turn around and he will understand my love, and I also gave into the delusional thinking of some first come first serving love for him. Although I know he will never understand my feelings just have sympathy for me all I tried to do until today was cut all contacts with him from my life, thats the only thing keeping me sane. Hope this wasn't too long and boring This is how I felt when I found out my ex left for someone else. Like many others, I was told a lie. It hurt like hell after the break up, but it hurt even more when I found out from some friends.
marigo Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Mine has been 8 months too. When i found out through facebook that he was in a relationship, i didnt really feel anything. Just like you, i dont know if i was just numb but i didnt feel anything. I mean i was hurt and i did have a little bit of tightness around my chest but i didnt get sad. I didnt cry. I thought that was weird. If anything, it was more anger that i felt. Im not gonna lie, i know facebook is evil especially after a break up. But i still check his facebook everyday and hers too. What i see they write to each other hurts more than when i found out he has a girlfriend. Worse yet, seeing pictures and the places they go together. Im not gonna be a hypocrite and tell you to stop checking coz i havent yet. But i do agree that if you can control yourself from checking, then dont check anymore. People have told me this right from the very beginning but i know i will get there. I want to do it in my own time.
Username37 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Felt like I could be easily replaced and I was angry because she basically lied to me (she said no boyfriend and couldn't handle a relationship...typical dumper ****)
just1guy Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Felt like I could be easily replaced and I was angry because she basically lied to me (she said no boyfriend and couldn't handle a relationship...typical dumper ****) x 10000000000
reknown29 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I felt like my house just burned down and everything was lost including myself and my ex. The timing of it and the intensity of our relationship made it worse than anything to me. Even death. It has taken me over a decade to find someone like her and I really thought that was it. I had found exactly what I was looking for... When I think about it, it is tragic to me. I know that I will move on but I am frozen inside. I have become a shell of a man. My heart has been ripped out. I will never be the same. I no longer believe in true love and I never will. It would have been a beautiful existence to make the first person you feel you opened up to completely the one you spent your life with. After that its just about going through the motions. Its a world of relationships based out of convenience, compatibility (which is ridiculous to me because people change), and selfishness. I guess this is the age we live in. A computer will tell us who our mate is. Its becoming a cold world.
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