Desejo47 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Ok....Divorced for 6 months, enjoy being single. Been out on first dates with about 10 guys- coffie/drink dates that didn't go anywhere. And thats fine.....gotta kiss a lot of frogs as they say. Finally met a guy, he is 51 and divorced 6 years that lives kind of nearby and I like him. We talked ont he phone for about week before meeting- each night for about an hour and each time it was better. Finally met in person and had a GREAT date. Fun and got a little *romantic* but not too much. I know he had a great time as I did. Well...then I don't hear from him for like 2 days- and then a short call and he said he would call me towards the end of the week and perhaps we could go out to dinner, would I like to do that? Ok...fine. but what is this thing about talking a lot before the first date and then pulling back after it, even when you ahd a great time and want to go out again? Seems to me that we should be wanting to talk MORE , not less. Is this how it goes? Is this the "dating game"? If so, I think its stupid and immature.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 He's probably playing by the rule where guys leave 2-3 days (sometimes even longer) to call after a date. It's supposed to make him not look needy or desperate by doing this. I agree that it's stupid.
EasyHeart Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 No, he's not playing games. The purpose of the calls before the first date were to determine whether you and he wanted to even bother meeting; it's basically an interviewing process. The purpose of the first date is to decide whether you like each other enough to go on a second date. At this point, you and he are strangers. Talking on the phone every day is something you do after you're exclusive and have been in a relationship for six months. It sounds to me like you want to skip dating and just jump straight into a relationship, and that never works. Take your time and get to know each other. You've known this guy for a grand total of a few hours. You don't know each other and you certainly don't have a relationship. Talking every night is certainly not something you do with a stranger. The only purpose of phone calls at this point is to arrange another date -- nothing else! Take it slow and let things develop naturally.
Author Desejo47 Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 No, he's not playing games. The purpose of the calls before the first date were to determine whether you and he wanted to even bother meeting; it's basically an interviewing process. The purpose of the first date is to decide whether you like each other enough to go on a second date. At this point, you and he are strangers. Talking on the phone every day is something you do after you're exclusive and have been in a relationship for six months. It sounds to me like you want to skip dating and just jump straight into a relationship, and that never works. Take your time and get to know each other. You've known this guy for a grand total of a few hours. You don't know each other and you certainly don't have a relationship. Talking every night is certainly not something you do with a stranger. The only purpose of phone calls at this point is to arrange another date -- nothing else! Take it slow and let things develop naturally. ************************* oh. ok. Interesting. Well, honestly, after spending about 10 hours on the phone with him before the first date, I really didn't and don't feel like we are strangers anymore. And especially after an amazing 5 hour first date. But if thats how 'strangers" is defined in the dating world, so be it, I guess. In my opinion, a person is only a stranger until you talk for 10 hours! And we did that! I just found it very odd that we talked everynight for an hour before the first date and then its only a quick daily email to say hello and "I'll call you at the end of the week" after the date. Wierd. Seems silly to me. Anyway, he emailed today, mentioed getting together over the weekend and said he would call tonight. And no, I don't want to skip dating and jump into a "relationship"...rather I would like to have a bit of a relationship with a person I am dating! hm.......I guess I have a lot to learn here.
Author Desejo47 Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 Thanks... well, I am trying not to appear "needy" myself, because I'm not, I have no shortages of dates...but he really is the first one that I feel some good clicking and chemistry with, so I am kind of excited about it. But I don't want to freak him out or anything. So I am trying to repsond to his brief emails casually and a little flirty too...i can't help it.....and just hope that he's liking what he is seeing. ugh. the stress of it all!!!
Author Desejo47 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 well, I went about my life and just waited. And he started sending hello emails and then fianlly called and we talked for an hour----awesome conversation- and he invited me out for the weekend (tonight)....and then an email this morning to say how much he was looking forward to it. I guess the old adage is true that if a man is interested, he WILL let you know. But I guess some are just slower than others at doing it. I am really excited to see him again..
Recommended Posts