We are both happily married

[lexystar]

Last year, I met a guy at work. He is 3 years older than me, happily married to a partner of 13 years, and has an over active sexual appetite. He has slept with over 200 women of all shapes and sizes (while married) and says that he has never "cheated" on his wife and that "cheating" for him is emotional and not physical.

 

We spent a lot of time together, we were very flirtatious, I have not met anyone so good with women, I loved the constant attention. at the end obviously we ended up sleeping together. The affair lasted for about a year, then he decided that he doesnt want to be with me anymore because I have developed feelings for him and when we got into this, he thought that we would be "Co-workers with Benefits" but I failed at that and he is not interested anymore. I had a very hard time handling the rejection untill he told me to my face: "Dont you get it? I dont want to be with you sexully!!".

 

My ego and pride are bruised and I feel so ashamed that I was so clingy and didn't just let go and leave him. How do I handle this situation? Whenever I see him I feel like burrying myself. We see each other every day at work, and I am going to become his boss in a couple of months.

How do I get his respect back? How does one get over such a situation?

 

thanks,

Lex

[siuys]

As hard as it seems, you need to see past what you want because this guy will never be able to give you what you want. It's doomed from the beginning. He made it clear that he wanted the benefits, and that's it. You got emotionally involved, which I can understand, but sometimes it is for the best to let it go while you still keep your dignity. Why would you want a womaniser anyway. You need to respect yourself first and foremost. And you get over it by accepting the way things are, and were, and not simply wish for it to be different. You move on by acknowledging your responsibility in this whole thing, and accepting that there are things you cannot control, or change. You move on by loving yourself, admitting perhaps that getting involved was never such a good idea to begin with, you move on by dusting yourself, hold your head high, admit your mistakes, don't make them again, let it go and respect yourself.

[lexystar]

"Dusting yourself" I like that. Thanks for the insight.

[carrie999]

How do I get his respect back? How does one get over such a situation?

 

You don't get his respect "back" since you never had it in the first place. Work on getting back your own self-respect. This guy may be a jerk, but he was honest...he only cheats "physically" and the emotional connection was more than he signed on for.

 

You're going to be his boss. Just treat him like everyone else who works for you, and don't let him know you still have any feelings for him. Move on. Do so without giving him the details about how painful it is for you. Deal with it on your own, with a counselor or otherwise.

 

And keep your head up. You WILL move on from this.

[dreamingoftigers]

So you got attached to a sexual addict with an attachment problem, may I ask what you thought was going to happen.

 

You cannot get his respect, he does not respect as a rule, he does not respect his wife.

 

Just 180 him and move on, far, far on. NEVER do this to yourself again.

 

Don't ever give up your dignity for flattery.

[Dexter Morgan]

My ego and pride are bruised and I feel so ashamed that I was so clingy and didn't just let go and leave him.

 

if your husband were to know, just think of how he feels

 

 

How do I handle this situation? Whenever I see him I feel like burrying myself. We see each other every day at work, and I am going to become his boss in a couple of months.

How do I get his respect back?

 

you're joking, right?

[Dexter Morgan]

and here is an idea, don't worry about respect with some other guy because you, as a married woman, got rejected by him.

 

how about focusing on your husband and quit cheating?