Cee Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 There are a lot of pitfalls to FWB aside from STDs. One difficulty about FWB is that usually you end up with a booty call or ONS. The other pitfall is knowing that the guy is pursuing other women. It takes a strong ego to be okay with a guy saying that he can't see you because he met this amazing woman and wants to be with her. Even if you aren't that into the guy, jealousy can happen. Whenever I've done FWB, it's been with an established friend and we might have sex 2-4 times a year. I've been alone for a long time so it's nice to have a FWB. I can't imagine going 6 years without any sex at all
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 how u been? Whts news? Still single? Lols wht u doin next weekend? Wanna catch up for drinks? Never written a message with so many questions ha ha hope u had a gr88t Monday lol x This is just text speak.. for some reason some people just don;t break out of character when writing emails. I hate it.. but it isn't a gauge of intelligence... more on the line of social graces. Personally I don't think you can handle doing a FWB.. you seem to get attached to a guy pretty quickly and as such you might have trouble keeping the fine line defined for a FWB to work. By the way.. whenever someone sends me an email with a ton text speak in it, to the point of it being hard to read, I just reply back to them to rewrite in a language that is more suited to communication.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Good point. OP is an emotional train wreck. This whole thing is a bad idea. Actually train wreck is too light. It's more like if a train hit a car, then a plane flew into it, and an ocean liner crashed onto all 3, with a sky scraper threatening to fall over the whole thing like cherry on top. This whole thing is just a super bad idea. This is extremely harsh and over the top You don't know me at all, except for when I am at my most negative and openly post about it on LS. I have my life together, stable job, own 2 properties etc etc. Yeah, I admit to being a failure at relationships but so what? Overall, I bet I am doing a lot better than you are.
welikeincrowds Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 This is extremely harsh and over the top You don't know me at all, except for when I am at my most negative and openly post about it on LS. I have my life together, stable job, own 2 properties etc etc. Yeah, I admit to being a failure at relationships but so what? Overall, I bet I am doing a lot better than you are. DAMN, GIRL http://www.67250.com/vids/iceburn.gif
Star Gazer Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 This is extremely harsh and over the top You don't know me at all, except for when I am at my most negative and openly post about it on LS. I have my life together, stable job, own 2 properties etc etc. Yeah, I admit to being a failure at relationships but so what? Overall, I bet I am doing a lot better than you are. That's not a very nice thing to say. Why are you lashing out like that? UF said you were an emotional train wreck. Not that you didn't have your professional/finance/etc. affairs in order. Having a good job and owning property doesn't ipso facto mean someone is emotionally stable or capable of the casual relationship you're contemplating. And to be fair, you haven't exactly shown yourself to be an emotionally secure, emotionally stable person.
Cracker Jack Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 The gauntlet has been thrown down, folks.
Star Gazer Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 So then where does the Friend part of FWB come in? It doesn't. It's a nicer way of saying booty call. You're there only to fulfill each other's sexual needs, not emotional needs (as a real FRIEND would).
TheMENemy Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 (edited) He is 25 and drop dead gorgeous. I mean he is around a 9 and excatly my type. The problem is, he is kind of dumb. I mean really dumb You're looking for sex, not a lab partner. Edited November 10, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TheMENemy Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 OP is an emotional train wreck. This whole thing is a bad idea. Actually train wreck is too light. It's more like if a train hit a car, then a plane flew into it, and an ocean liner crashed onto all 3, with a sky scraper threatening to fall over the whole thing like cherry on top. You forgot the "planet killing asteroid".
carhill Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 OP, do you really feel this matches up with who you are? How you feel about sex? I really have no advice or opinion, as FWB is an alien concept to me. Hope it works out
TheMENemy Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.earthmagazine.org/mediafiles/i/2009/9/2/617&imgrefurl=http://www.earthmagazine.org/earth/article/25a-7d9-9-2&usg=__6uM6i3cr5hfHPvzatc1skjQtOhI=&h=400&w=449&sz=22&hl=en&start=154&sig2=QuflZ-I-DsFcW3d6Mox21w&zoom=1&tbnid=Te_rSyPEYaflxM:&tbnh=119&tbnw=133&ei=VefZTLvyBYK78gb917HvCA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dplanet%2Bkilling%2Basteroid%2Bpicture%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DhJz%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1354%26bih%3D540%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C2924&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=319&oei=MefZTPufD8OcnwemhsXaCA&esq=9&page=8&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:154&tx=96&ty=61&biw=1354&bih=540 I posted this because I thought the dinosaur looks cute.
musemaj11 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 And the madness continues ... You seem like a really hot woman. But based on the posts you have written here, I honestly think that you probably are not going to find anyone for the rest of your life. Im sorry for my bluntness.
Star Gazer Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 OP, do you really feel this matches up with who you are? How you feel about sex? The SEX part, yes. She did initiate sex with the last guy in his car. But EMOTIONALLY I don't think she can separate the two (sex and emotions).
Surrealist Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 You forgot the "planet killing asteroid". Wont matter, her location is on the moon! Just playing OG. I have no opinion either on what you should or shouldnt do in this situation but personally I would hope that if this arrangement is really not your preference, that you find the relationship you seek.
112233 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Oh, I thought maybe there was a signup sheet here or something, never mind ...
Author OceanGirl Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 And the madness continues ... You seem like a really hot woman. But based on the posts you have written here, I honestly think that you probably are not going to find anyone for the rest of your life. Im sorry for my bluntness. Thanks for the vote of confidence Part of truly thinks that I just haven't met the right guy.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 Wont matter, her location is on the moon! Just playing OG. I have no opinion either on what you should or shouldnt do in this situation but personally I would hope that if this arrangement is really not your preference, that you find the relationship you seek. I really want a realtionship but meeting quality realtionship candidates is a lot harder. Now that I had a bit more time to think, I probably won't do it. I have a date with some guy from OKC tonight so we will see how that goes.
alexlakeman Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Good point. OP is an emotional train wreck. p. This whole thing is just a super bad idea. That's not a very good way of putting it... How did you come to your conclusion? Based on what someone posts on an online forum? OP, just do it, wtf... I am in a similar boat, except I'm the guy... seeing someone as an fwb...met online, but I don't see ltr potential, but whatever...
Author OceanGirl Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 That's not a very nice thing to say. Why are you lashing out like that? UF said you were an emotional train wreck. Not that you didn't have your professional/finance/etc. affairs in order. Having a good job and owning property doesn't ipso facto mean someone is emotionally stable or capable of the casual relationship you're contemplating. And to be fair, you haven't exactly shown yourself to be an emotionally secure, emotionally stable person. I disagree SG. Holding down a job for over 5 years despite being in love with my boss and it pulling on my emotions for almost 4 out of those 5 years (and managing not only not to tell him so much as hint of those feelings but also to get over them despite every day contact with him), never being fired in my life, being financially responsible enough to manage buying 2 properties, having stable real life friendships that span over many years DO point to some form of emotional stability. If I was truly a train wreck to the magnitude that he described, none of those things would be possible. As I said, LS only sees the absolute worst part of my personality in one area of life I have trouble with. It is not the full picture and NONE of my real life friends would describe me as even close to a train wreck. Including my real life BFF who is clinical psychologist. At most, they would say that I tend to be obsessive about my love life and that I lack self-esteem in general.
Mad Max Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 OP is in no place emotionally to have an FWB, FB, or anything of that nature.
Els Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 how u been? Whts news? Still single? Lols wht u doin next weekend? Wanna catch up for drinks? Never written a message with so many questions ha ha hope u had a gr88t Monday lol x Oh good effin' Lord. :confused::confused::confused: C'mon, SAC, I'm sure you can do better than that even for an FWB!!
Author OceanGirl Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 Oh good effin' Lord. :confused::confused::confused: C'mon, SAC, I'm sure you can do better than that even for an FWB!! Hahaha I know, it is such a huge turn off that no amount of looks can compensate for. I have now decided against it but not for the reasons people think. Emotionally, I would have no problem handling it. My emotions wouldn't be involved because I couldn't possibly see myself having feelings for this guy. Ever. I am simply not excited at the prospect of having to spend any time conversing with him.
Surrealist Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 OP is in no place emotionally to have an FWB, FB, or anything of that nature. Not pulling you up on this comment, but citing as one of what appears to be the general opinion on this thread.... Given OP is not in an emotional viable state for such arrangements, does anyone think (as I alluded to in my earlier post) that a relationship would be better suited for OP? I mean relationships are work as well and require some emotional resilience and maturity - probably even moreso than these other arrangements, yes or no?
Mad Max Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 does anyone think (as I alluded to in my earlier post) that a relationship would be better suited for OP? I mean relationships are work as well and require some emotional resilience and maturity - probably even moreso than these other arrangements, yes or no? Logically, yes it would be light years better than an FWB. The problem with an FWB is it would likely cause the OP to become even more jaded. Personally, I think the OP should just avoid any type of relationship with men for a period of time and work out her issues.
Kamille Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I know you've already decided you wouldn't do it but... When I read the first post I thought to myself: "Hmmm. Interesting. Maybe this is exactly what OG needs to learn to chill the f out." Guess we'll have to find another way for you to learn how to chill the f out when it comes to your love life.
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