OceanGirl Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I said before that FWBs are not for me. But Mr. Right is taking too long to arrive and frankly, I would like to have some fun. There is this guy that I didn't meet through OLD. We have mutual friends, he saw a picture of me on Facebook and started writing to me. He is 25 and drop dead gorgeous. I mean he is around a 9 and excatly my type. The problem is, he is kind of dumb. I mean really dumb I kept putting him off because of his obvious lack of intelligence. He is persistant though and has been away on a holiday for the past month. He was attempting to keep in contact, and I responded to every third message or so. He is now back and wants to see me. I am just not sure if I could get past his umm dumbness, even for a FWB. To give you an idea, this is the last message I got from him: how u been? Whts news? Still single? Lols wht u doin next weekend? Wanna catch up for drinks? Never written a message with so many questions ha ha hope u had a gr88t Monday lol x Thoughts?
Andy_K Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Sounds like he'd be a battle of wits with a cabbage. Seriously, as a girl, you getting a FWB will be like shooting fish in a barrel. Pick one with a brain instead of letting the bottom dwellers pick you.
northern_sky Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 are you afraid if you picked a guy with a brain for fwb you'd fall for him? because you can easily find somebody equally as hot with a brain for fwb material.
Cracker Jack Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I don't believe you're emotionally stable to handle a FWB situation, to be quite honest. It may seem like a good idea now, but I could see disaster if you kinda get attached after the sex. Better off not getting into that situation, I say.
Cee Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Part of the fun of FWB is having interesting conversation and laughing a lot. It's supposed to be fun. Without the intellectual connection, you are stuck with a booty call. Which I guess isn't necessarily a bad thing. Try having a conversation with him via the telephone and see if you can carry on a conversation. It's hard to judge people by the way they text or send FB messages.
VeveCakes Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 You sound kind of full of your self. How do you know how smart this guy is if you haven't even spent time with him. People can be deceiving. A lot of people think my man is simple, because around randoms he doesn't care to look intelligent, but him and I have had the most intelligent conversations in all my years. Get over yourself.
utterer of lies Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 You sound kind of full of your self. How do you know how smart this guy is if you haven't even spent time with him. People can be deceiving. A lot of people think my man is simple, because around randoms he doesn't care to look intelligent, but him and I have had the most intelligent conversations in all my years. Get over yourself. Then again, she posted his text message.
John018 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I don't see what the problem is. From his text he didn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed but it was lighthearted and fun - which is what you want from an fwb right? Are you afraid you'll end up falling for him but would be embarrassed to introduce him to your friends/family?
Mellisa Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I said before that FWBs are not for me. But Mr. Right is taking too long to arrive and frankly, I would like to have some fun. There is this guy that I didn't meet through OLD. We have mutual friends, he saw a picture of me on Facebook and started writing to me. He is 25 and drop dead gorgeous. I mean he is around a 9 and excatly my type. The problem is, he is kind of dumb. I mean really dumb I kept putting him off because of his obvious lack of intelligence. He is persistant though and has been away on a holiday for the past month. He was attempting to keep in contact, and I responded to every third message or so. He is now back and wants to see me. I am just not sure if I could get past his umm dumbness, even for a FWB. To give you an idea, this is the last message I got from him: how u been? Whts news? Still single? Lols wht u doin next weekend? Wanna catch up for drinks? Never written a message with so many questions ha ha hope u had a gr88t Monday lol x Thoughts? So you see him as a fwb material because he's dumb?Like how dumb?This is the first time i heard concerns made about the other person being dumb:laugh:How do you categorize people and decide who get into which category?
sally4sara Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Dear Oceangirl, You don't respect him. You don't find him stimulating in any non-superficial way. You already know his intellect is below your standard and you have ZERO idea if he can screw as nicely as he looks. So how is he a better option than just going on over to your local sex shop and purchasing a reliable, quiet rabbit vibrator? It will get you off and you won't have dumb comments ruining the mood.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 It's okay with ME (I know that's very important to you! Haha! ) if you have a FWB ONLY if you swear and promise that: You will never think twice or even notice if he doesn't call you much Or if he'd rather drink with his friends or watch a game with dudes rather than have sex with you, frequently or rarely Or if he might or might not respond to your texts Or if he acts like he's "not that into you" in any way. Can you?
Author OceanGirl Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 are you afraid if you picked a guy with a brain for fwb you'd fall for him? because you can easily find somebody equally as hot with a brain for fwb material. EXACTLY. I know that if I picked a good looking, intelligent guy and started having sex with him, I would end up falling in love and getting hurt. There is not a chance in hell of me falling for this guy, no matter how much sex we have. So I feel this is a good plan for me. The only problem is that I am not sure if I can be attracted enough, even for a FWB (BTW all his messages sound like that)
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 EXACTLY. I know that if I picked a good looking, intelligent guy and started having sex with him, I would end up falling in love and getting hurt. There is not a chance in hell of me falling for this guy, no matter how much sex we have. So I feel this is a good plan for me. The only problem is that I am not sure if I can be attracted enough, even for a FWB (BTW all his messages sound like that) IMHO... I think this is a bad idea for you. I think rather than helping your particular set of issues... this is just going to drive your self esteem down. There just is no way your capable of keeping him from falling for you... and keeping your emotions out of it as well. This has disaster written all over it.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I wonder if he's been tested. He sounds like too much of a bother. Even the most good looking ones aren't good in bed, just so you know.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I wonder if he's been tested. IQ tested?
veggirl Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Terrible idea. Almost always!! No you shouldn't do it.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I wonder if he's been tested. He sounds like too much of a bother. Even the most good looking ones aren't good in bed, just so you know. I think this would make or break it. I have had really disappointing experiences with good looking men. On the other hand, if he is good in bed - I am pretty sure I would really enjoy the sex despite the lack of intelligence.
TaurusTerp Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 IMO, he sounds like more of a booty call or one time thing only. Maybe it's not the same for women, but if a woman is dumb and I can't even respect her, I'm not going to invest enough effort to even call it a friendship.
jerbear Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 You're just not cut out for it, IMO. I have to agree with the not cut out for it. Part of the fun of FWB is having interesting conversation and laughing a lot. It's supposed to be fun. Without the intellectual connection, you are stuck with a booty call. Which I guess isn't necessarily a bad thing. Try having a conversation with him via the telephone and see if you can carry on a conversation. It's hard to judge people by the way they text or send FB messages. An FWB shouldn't have to much going on, it is not dating where one is having a conversation, learning about each other, yada yada. It should just be, show up, do the deed, and leave. The conversing part is more like casual dating or companionship.
sally4sara Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 An FWB shouldn't have to much going on, it is not dating where one is having a conversation, learning about each other, yada yada. It should just be, show up, do the deed, and leave. The conversing part is more like casual dating or companionship. So then where does the Friend part of FWB come in?
Star Gazer Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 You will be CRUSHED if after having sex with you, this "dumb hot guy" doesn't fall in love with you or shows something you perceive to be a lack if interest... Such as if he doesn't drop everything to have sex with you. You can't handle it.
jerbear Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 So then where does the Friend part of FWB come in? It isn't a date or real friends. Once feelsing arise for one, the OP will get feeligns then get attached. The OP is not in the right state of mind for an FWB with the "9" but not "99 IQ" guy. Friends chat, talk, do stuff, etc... while FWB may chat, talk, do stuff, and have sex. that is it. Do the deed and leave. Pump and dump except there can be more pumping later on.
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