Dude's going to blow it...

[Surrealist]

9 pages of this over one minor insecure text? His confidence may increase as the relationship develops - for all anyone knows. However given your hasty judgment I agree with tincanman above, just end it. You're too judgmental toward the guy.

[Chicago_Guy]

Wow, why did you all have to bring Ds age into it???

 

Comments like "She doesn't have much time" etc are completely weird to me. She doesn't have much time for what? Having kids maybe but I don't think it's something that she wants.

 

She can meet a guy at 55 and fall madly in love and get married. There is no expiration date for falling in love.

 

I am sickened by "well meaning" agist comments by men. Sheeesh. Not every men would prefer a 25 year old - some are actually not that superficial.

 

I'm surprised that you would accuse men who prefer a 25-year-old as being "superficial." Read everything that D-Lish wrote in her original post - from a man's point of view, she is the one who is being incredibly superficial here! She supposedly really liked everything about that guy and then suddenly decided she no longer liked him simply because he sent a stupid text? If that isn't superficial, I don't know what is!

[Mme. Chaucer]

When Northern_Sky in a former incarnation posted that she texted the exact same message to a guy she was beginning to date, quite a few of us (including me) smacked her upside the head real fast.

 

It can be a turn off and it CAN make a person feel like they are being cornered or emotionally manipulated. I would not like it, having had my share of bad experiences with insecure (and thus controlling) fellows.

 

That being said, D-Lish, since you do like him and have had more positive than negative experiences with him, I hope you don't give up on him just because of this.

 

I hope you have not taken to heart AT ALL the lame post about your age and how the only reason a guy of that age would go out with a 41 year old would be if he had self esteem issues. Consider the source, please. That poster is one of those weak guys who likes to batter a woman's self esteem in order to be able to contend with her, as described ad nauseum on another thread here. They call themselves "betas" but they must be more like omegas. Evidently those guys exist in some paralell universe to the one where the rest of us live and try to find happiness with a significant other, though they are plentiful here on LS. I actually don't know any IRL, thank goodness.

 

35 is a perfectly good age match for 41, IMO. So is 30. Or whatever.

[sagetalk]

It's going on the third date, is it possible you are just looking for things on the surface to sabotage it?

 

Ding, ding, ding, we have a WINNER!!!

[sagetalk]

9 pages of this over one minor insecure text? His confidence may increase as the relationship develops - for all anyone knows. However given your hasty judgment I agree with tincanman above, just end it. You're too judgmental toward the guy.

 

Some of the girls on here are relentlessly brutal to the men they date. If I thought all women we like this, I'd stay single.

 

Fortunately they aren't, I'm soooooo glad!

[GivenUp0083]

I've been out with someone I like. 2 Dates, we've clicked, I like him. I want to see more of him.

 

All of a sudden he's saying things that make him appear insecure about himself.

 

I accept that everyone is insecure- but you shouldn't showcase it, because it's not attractive.

 

We made out a bit last date- date #2.

 

I originally liked him because he came off as so confident and funny on our dates. I saw a little bit of self deprecating humour initially- but it's getting a bit overboard.

 

We had a great time Sunday and planned to meet again this Wednesday. He text me this morning to firm up the plans for Wednesday and I didn't text him back right away- I was on the road and when I got to my desintation I was jumping into work stuff right away. I got a second text saying "it's okay if you aren't interested, just let me know".

 

I just loved that he was so confident initially, that's what attracted me to him- that and his awesome humour.

 

I text back- "we are on for Wed, looking forward to it". He immediately text back "ok, good, wasn't sure :-("

 

I immediately felt different about him after this exchange.

 

Stop dating. You're already second guessing people and reading too much into stuff that has no bearing on relationships. You are someone that would be a nightmare to go out with. Please stop, for any decent man's sake that you would have come across.

[GivenUp0083]

It just threw a wrench into things when he showed his cards so quickly.

 

 

Are you dating this guy or playing cards?

[Minnie09]

If he's really that witty, his text was possibly supposed to be funny-sarcastic?

Who knows? Could be, right?

 

Can't wait how date #3 went.

Pls share!

[johan]

Edit edit edit edit.

[Stung]

Stop dating. You're already second guessing people and reading too much into stuff that has no bearing on relationships. You are someone that would be a nightmare to go out with. Please stop, for any decent man's sake that you would have come across.

 

 

This, and all the age commentary, is totally uncalled for.

 

D, I get where you're coming from, and I know you're still in the first impressions stage, but note Minnie's take on it above: maybe he was injecting a little humor into his text and you just missed the tone. Who knows? It's a relatively minor slip, not necessarily indicative of anything deep. Don't dwell on it, and don't dwell on this increasingly mean-spirited attack thread. Just keep your already-scheduled third date and try to go into it with your focus on the positive feelings he was initially engendering. Good luck.

[Sabali]

People just don't have the luxury of choosing what turns them on or off. Just like we do not have the luxury of making someone else choose what turns them on or off. I find it futile to tell a person what should have not turned them off.

[D-Lish]

If he's really that witty, his text was possibly supposed to be funny-sarcastic?

Who knows? Could be, right?

 

Can't wait how date #3 went.

Pls share!

 

I like him- a lot.

 

I can't tell you guys how long it's been since I admitted such a thing.

 

I went out with him tonight, for date #3- we had a great time.

 

I actually had my lunch today with guy #1- our first meeting- I didn't like him at all. He talked about himself non-stop. When I got to my second date of the day with the other dude- I am really into focusing on the second guy. He's awesome!!!

[northern_sky]

I like him- a lot.

 

I can't tell you guys how long it's been since I admitted such a thing.

 

I went out with him tonight, for date #3- we had a great time.

 

I actually had my lunch today with guy #1- our first meeting- I didn't like him at all. He talked about himself non-stop. When I got to my second date of the day with the other dude- I am really into focusing on the second guy. He's awesome!!!

 

I'm so glad you didn't write him off. I have a good feeling about him.

[Cracker Jack]

I knew it would work itself out. Glad you didn't give up on him and focus on the negative only. I hope things continue to go well.

[Randomness]

I've been out with someone I like. 2 Dates, we've clicked, I like him. I want to see more of him.

 

All of a sudden he's saying things that make him appear insecure about himself.

 

I accept that everyone is insecure- but you shouldn't showcase it, because it's not attractive.

 

We made out a bit last date- date #2.

 

I originally liked him because he came off as so confident and funny on our dates. I saw a little bit of self deprecating humour initially- but it's getting a bit overboard.

 

We had a great time Sunday and planned to meet again this Wednesday. He text me this morning to firm up the plans for Wednesday and I didn't text him back right away- I was on the road and when I got to my desintation I was jumping into work stuff right away. I got a second text saying "it's okay if you aren't interested, just let me know".

 

I just loved that he was so confident initially, that's what attracted me to him- that and his awesome humour.

 

I text back- "we are on for Wed, looking forward to it". He immediately text back "ok, good, wasn't sure :-("

 

I immediately felt different about him after this exchange.

 

I think him showing a little bit of worry is sweet. Shows he is into you.

[Chicago_Guy]

Even more surprising is that OG's posts about her own dating issues emphasizes how important it is for men to be physically attractive to her.

 

The average 25 year old woman is going to have a huge advantage in that department over the average 41 year old woman. The average hot 25 year old woman is going to be that much more attractive than the "well preserved" 40 year old woman. Typically the 35 year old man can have both. Now tell me why the average man would pick the 40 year old over the 25 year old unless she's bringing a whole lot more to the table than the 25 year old? Picking at the guy for being insecure is NOT "bringing more to the table."

 

You raise a valid point. However, not every 35 year old man is going to be able to get a hot 25 year old woman. D-Lish even said herself that this guy isn't conventionally attractive or something along those lines. She probably is subconsciously looking for a way to end this with a guy she'll never think is good enough for her while rationalizing to herself that "I gave him a chance and he failed." If she thought this guy was hot, she'd probably let him off the hook for sending that text or might even think it was cute.

 

I am 35 myself and I have friends around my age who tell me that they prefer women their age or even slightly older. However, the only guys who say things like this to me are guys who have let themselves go and arguably look older than their biological age. Myself and other guys my age who have stayed in shape and look years younger than their age (especially those who are otherwise financially/professionally successful) rarely want an older woman or even a woman the same age as them when they his their mid-30s or older.

 

Only a truly exceptional 40+ year-old woman will be capable of obtaining a great 35-year-old man and with good reason - the man would essentially be giving up any realistic chance of starting a family with that woman. Now if the 35-year-old man already had kids or doesn't want kids, maybe this isn't an issue.

[D-Lish]

We had a great make out session at my car before we parted and left the pub.

 

He just texted me that he got home safe and he thinks I am hot.

 

I am so smitten guys. I had such a great night.

 

He was on his game tonight. I am smiling ear to ear as I type this.

 

I def think I am going to date him. He's going away on vacation for a week with the guys next Monday for a week. That throws a wrench into getting to know one another further- but I am into him!

 

Tonight was a defining night for me, I just feel so good!!!

[Star Gazer]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!!

 

I was grinning ear to ear READING that! Soooooooo glad he brought his A game!!!

 

:love:

[Mme. Chaucer]

We had a great make out session at my car before we parted and left the pub.

 

He just texted me that he got home safe and he thinks I am hot.

 

I am so smitten guys. I had such a great night.

 

He was on his game tonight. I am smiling ear to ear as I type this.

 

I def think I am going to date him. He's going away on vacation for a week with the guys next Monday for a week. That throws a wrench into getting to know one another further- but I am into him!

 

Tonight was a defining night for me, I just feel so good!!!

 

I am so happy to hear this! Yay!

[tigressA]

We had a great make out session at my car before we parted and left the pub.

 

He just texted me that he got home safe and he thinks I am hot.

 

I am so smitten guys. I had such a great night.

 

He was on his game tonight. I am smiling ear to ear as I type this.

 

I def think I am going to date him. He's going away on vacation for a week with the guys next Monday for a week. That throws a wrench into getting to know one another further- but I am into him!

 

Tonight was a defining night for me, I just feel so good!!!

 

YES! Soooo excited for you, D! Oh, I love this stuff. :love::bunny:

[LittleTiger]

Great news D-Lish. Really happy for you.

[JamesM]

 

I am so smitten guys. I had such a great night.

 

He was on his game tonight. I am smiling ear to ear as I type this.

 

 

Tonight was a defining night for me, I just feel so good!!!

 

I am glad for you. As one of my faves on here, it will be good to see you happy. I think you deserve it.

 

When I read your post, I could hear this song suddenly blasting in my office....or I thought I did....

 

 

Take it one day at a time...and enjoy.

[Lakeside_runner]

We had a great make out session at my car before we parted and left the pub.

 

He just texted me that he got home safe and he thinks I am hot.

 

I am so smitten guys. I had such a great night.

 

He was on his game tonight. I am smiling ear to ear as I type this.

 

I def think I am going to date him. He's going away on vacation for a week with the guys next Monday for a week. That throws a wrench into getting to know one another further- but I am into him!

 

Tonight was a defining night for me, I just feel so good!!!

 

I'm so happy for you!!!!

[Jannah]

I like him- a lot.

 

I can't tell you guys how long it's been since I admitted such a thing.

 

I went out with him tonight, for date #3- we had a great time.

 

I actually had my lunch today with guy #1- our first meeting- I didn't like him at all. He talked about himself non-stop. When I got to my second date of the day with the other dude- I am really into focusing on the second guy. He's awesome!!!

 

Kudos lady!! And double Kudos for ignoring a lot of the silliness that was displayed in this thread...

[johan]

You need to call him a few times today, D. Send some texts as well. Try to get together for both lunch and dinner and see if you can stay the night at his place. He's going to lose interest if you don't.