rebeccajones Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Since he has not tried to make contact at all. Which may be best, but will I never hear from him? It's been like 1.5 months. Overall we had a good relationship. I cut off all ties, he moved out quick. He didn't think we needed to cut ties I did. I'm glad we are in NC. I'm just wondering does he just not care? I feel as if he left me and I just feel bad because he would do that, then never care to contact me. I know probably silly question. But do ex's usually make contact? I guess the longer the better, the more I will heal. He is in contact with someone I know (family member), but that may not have anything to do with me, they are friends. Guess I just feel bad. I'm just wondering do they care if they do make contact and not care if they don't? :confused:
durkadurka Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 There's no sense in dilly dallying around a failed relationship. Couples either get back together or they don't. Instead what happens is everyone beats around the bush and nothing gets done and everyone feels miserable again. Honestly, we can't read his mind. But if you want to talk to him, pick up the g'damn phone.
Author rebeccajones Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I could but I'd rather wait until I feel better. There really is no need to at this point.
Eternity001 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 My ex, that I dumped hasn't stopped contactign me for 10 months. It's become far less frequent but it's still there. I can't remember the time I initiated contact with her.
cozenedindigo Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I'm on the same boat. I'm still crazy enough to wonder why he isn't contacting me. Oh, well.
Heatemyheart89 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 (edited) I'm betting he does care though so don't think he doesnt its just better to leave things they way they are for now However.. if you didnt end on bad terms/ there is a reasonable chance of getting back together ,contact him. Edited November 9, 2010 by Heatemyheart89
Author rebeccajones Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I can't say we left on great terms. I wanted a further commitment, he doesn't he told me that every time we fought he loved me less. Although in my opinion we didn't fight much. I guess he is looking for a perfect person, which I am not nor is he. So I try to keep that in mind, if he didn't like me why was he with me and why would he have stayed (together almost 2 yrs)? So half of me says F off, the other misses us. The thing that pisses me off is I was willing to deal with him and he was looking to find all my faults! I dunno there's still alot I need to sort out and I need to feel better.
cerridwen Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 (edited) Of course I don't know for sure in your case but in mine, I know my ex doesn't contact me because he DOES care. He clearly stated every time he wants to text or call he doesn't because he knows ultimately it will hurt me. He doesn't believe we should be together. Though he wants a friendship he knows I want more.He misses my presence but he doesn't miss our relationship so he resists texting or calling even though he's lonely. My point: there maybe another reason (other than not caring) that your ex doesn't contact you. Edited November 10, 2010 by cerridwen unclear
alwayshoping Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I hope there is another reason as I'm dying here just waiting for her to show she even cares/cared alittle!
sacg Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 But in your state of mind, her contacting you would only drive you backwards. i know! You want more. She knows this. So she doenst contact you. Doesn't mean she doesnt care. But who wants an ex you loved and she loved you, just caring????? But who gives a ***! Really, you should'nt need her to contact you to feel full. i'm a hypocrite of sorts, but im healing quick now, and seeing the light. you will too, you have my word, and i'll be here when you get there. To say.........See...i told you so.
alwayshoping Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I can't wait until you can say I told you so! I really hope it's soon! It's just so hard sometimes!
sacg Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Took me 2.5 years, but that was my fault. its down to you. I cant wait too man! its taken me 47 days this time! Best
cerridwen Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 It's only been 4 days with NC but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I still look at my phone hoping for a text. It's an ego thing; I want to know I'm still on his mind. It's also a relief thing; I want to replace this hurt a little with some positive emotion. On the other hand I don't want to be presented with the problem of ignoring a text or contacting him thus ruining my streak of NC and undoing any progress. My solution: Grin and bear it. Time IS my friend. On my white board I drew 30 circles. Every day with NC I write a line though one. It's a count down of sorts. I know at the end of those 30 days my pain will be soooo much less. I can't wait!
Author rebeccajones Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 I get glimmers of hope when I am interested in someone or find them attractive! It is a slow process! It's been 1.5 months for me. I know its better to be in NC and have time and space to heal. Tough as hell though glad we are all in it together. I've spent alot of time on this board reading everyone's posts it provides relief somehow from the pain.
cerridwen Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 No sooner had I posted the message above about not hearing from him then he texted. "How are you doing, (my name)?" My stomach dropped. After a lot of thought, after an hour I sent a neutral response of "I'm fine." He texted back that he was glad to hear that and I shut off my phone. Kinda regret responding at all. I ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA <--my cat just ran across the keyboard. Sorry.
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