melissa123 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 (edited) Hey all, having a sad day and though LS would be the best place to go to vent. Ive fallen for a guy who has a rep for being a bit of a player. He had been chasing me for months but I didnt let up as I just didnt trust him. Anyway eventually I let my guard down and let him take me out. Since then (for maybe about three weeks) we have been txting and calling everyday really full on. He calls me his angel, says im the only girl for him bla bla. We have really deep conversations where he says he is over all those days of playing round and he loves me and wants to be with only me. Anyway this weekend seems to have changed everything and I need to know what to do So I saw him on Friday during the day and while I was with him there was this other girl there who was basically throwing herself at him. I parted ways with him and he said he would txt me and see me later on that night. I waited all night (sad I no) and he didnt txt me till midnight just saying 'hey wasup'. Litlle to my knowledge he had also been txting this girl that was throwing herself at him PLUS another girl who has previously been throwing herself at him. (I found this out on Sunday) We were supposed to meet up during the weekend but I didnt hear from him the entire time I got to uni on Monday only to find out that 'apparently' he had met up in town with this girl that was throwing herself at him and slept with her. I also found out he had been txting the OTHER girl all weekend but he never txtd me at all I was really really gutted He called me and txtd me twice on Monday but I didnt answer. Finally he txtd again asking what the hell my problem was so I proceded to tell him what Id heard and ask if it were true. He denied sleeping with the girl but said he did meet up with her in town. I just said 'ok' and went to sleep. Today he has been txting me asking why I am so angry and him and asking what he has done wrong. He doesn't seem to think he has done a thing wrong and is really upset that I am mad at him. He still thinks we are just as normal and he hasn't done anything wrong. He even said 'sigh I cant do anything right these days can i' I basically just said I was keeping my distance as all the rumours were upsetting me and I never heard back. What do I do from here? I am not his official gf and he has total free will to met up with and txt whoever he wants so am I over reacting? I want to txt him and see him so badly but my instincts say to stay away for now. thoughts? Im really hurting Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease give me some advice! Thanks so much for reading!!! Edited November 9, 2010 by melissa123
sugarmomma Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 You even say yourself that he's a player. Why put yourself in a position to be hurt by someone that you know is not long term r material?? Keep your options open. Date other people and stop being so available to him. He's not ready. Accept the reality and you'll be better off. He said he loves you?? Give me a break!! Ugh!
Rinah Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Did he ever tell you that he wanted to be exclusive? Since you said that you were not, it was his choice to see these woman, he wasn't cheating on you. If he was single, he could date and chat up whoever he wants. I think there's been some miscommunication here, between you two. I take that you felt that he was only paying this attention to you, that you felt he thought that you were special to him. You were aware of his rep when you were falling for him, im also guessing you didn't expect to fall for him either. I understand that you are hurt, as I would be too. The only thing you can do is communicate with him. He doesn't understand why you are upset. You should tell him what your feeling. Have you asked him if he was looking for a exclusive relationship? Does he not want commitment? Would he rather just date around? These are things that you should have found out from the start. If he isn't looking to be with one person right now, it would be best to move on and not hurt yourself anymore. I hope things go well for you. Also, dating other people wouldn't be a bad idea as well. ~ Rina
Author melissa123 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Heya thanks for your responses He told me from the start that he wanted a relationship now and was over playing around. I told him in return right from the start that I was also interested in a relationship and the reason that I had never given into him before was that I dont want to hae to share him with anyone. He said he wouldnt expect me to and that I was the only one allowed to have him from now. He has been calling and txting me everyday literally every two minutes and If I dont reply he will keep going (almost creepy). He had been inviting me over every night so I know he wasn't seeing anyone else. I remember me making a joke about kissing some old guy and he said back that I wasn't allowed to do that cause I was his now .... So maybe im just a crazy girl but that kinda implied to me that we might be heading that way. So yes I was upset when he went out with this other girl. Especailly when he told me he wanted to be with me that weekend but yet never txt me. Sigh I dont know ..... I havent gone nuts at him and accused him of cheating or anything I basically said Im keeping my distance as its hurting me. Is that ok?
that girl Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Cut him off. Text him that you don't want to talk to him anymore and end all contact. He didn't cheat, but he is obviously trying to manipulate you. He tells you how he wants a relationship and how you can't kiss anyone else, but he goes off with other girls. Screw sad. You should be disgusted with him. You should not be letting him play with you like this. You should consider him beneath you.
musemaj11 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Like you are actually going to listen to us.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 He told me from the start that he wanted a relationship now and was over playing around. I told him in return right from the start that I was also interested in a relationship and the reason that I had never given into him before was that I dont want to hae to share him with anyone. He said he wouldnt expect me to and that I was the only one allowed to have him from now. So... what your saying is that this guy who is a player... lied to you to get in your pants? That's like complaining that the nice cuddly shark bit you. That's what players do! Duh! Now pull yourself together and nix this dbag.
welikeincrowds Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Like you are actually going to listen to us. :lmao:
Mellisa Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I would give it big doubt if someone i met who had the reputation of a being player said to me things like "he is over all those days of playing round and he loves me and wants to be with only me.."come on, how long had you two known each other!See, that's exactly what he does as player,he came on strong and would say whatever you wanted to hear(although i think you should have freaked out if you had any sense) to get what he wanted.It was so obviously lame the tricks he played.He might have some lust for you, but sooner or later,he'll be looking for a next prey when he's done with you. Just get out!
Cee Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 So... what your saying is that this guy who is a player... lied to you to get in your pants? That's like complaining that the nice cuddly shark bit you. That's what players do! Duh! Now pull yourself together and nix this dbag. Had to laugh at the cuddly shark part. Everything Untouchable_Fire is saying is true. The guy is a player, which means that he craves the attention from multiple women. He's not yet ready to exclusively devote his attentions on one woman (you). He likes to chase and be chased by multiple women. He's probably not going to change in the near future because what he does works. He has women chasing him. And he loves that more than having a date with you over the weekend. I know the truth sucks, but at least you know you aren't crazy. He IS a player and your first instincts to stay away were absolutely correct.
Mad Max Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 You know what you have to do. I'm just not sure if you're going to follow your instincts(which are spot on). The man is a player. He is not going to change and if you get involved with him, you will be playing with fire.
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