Ella whispers Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I'm going nuts with this guy. In a nutshell we have been dating for 7 months. Normal up and down issues with me pulling away every so often like I usually do when emotions are involved. Over the past few weeks I have allowed myself to stay in this with feelings and not hold back. The past 4 days I stayed with him and things have been great, they always are. He will need to move this summer and has made comments about us living together, he even said he has discussed this with his family. We aren't friends on fb. We were talking about it last night and I sent him a request, along w/ that request I changed my status to In a relationship w/ (insert name). He accepted the request but then texted me he screwed up. He said when he ignored the status change it deleted me from his friend list as well. For one, I have no idea if that is true or not. Besides that, there is a reason he doesn't want to change it obviously and it's probably another woman or women. I have not allowed myself to care about anyone completely in years. Now that I have I regret it all the way. What he says and what he does are always different. He's going through a lot of things and I do care more than I wanted to so I would feel bad ending it. I don't know what to do...........
sugarmomma Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 please dont move in with him. He won't even "claim" you as his woman. His interest level sounds low.
Author Ella whispers Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Thank you. I just really hate the fact that I let myself get hurt, and over fb which isn't that big a deal but it's a rejection just the same. I think he is looking for security for his son since his ex wife is very ill. I feel like I'm being used. I asked him why and he just said that it's not the whole world's business just his. I have to call bs on that one. He said it doesn't matter and all that matters is that he's happy w/ me. I told him it mattered to me, that obviously doesn't matter either.
Eclypse Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Whatever goes in facebook, is generally out there for the whole world to see. And if he doesn't want the world to know that he's dating you my guess is he's hiding something!
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Are you 100% positive that his ex wife is really his ex wife and they aren't just separated ? He must not want someone.. whether is is his son's mother, family or another girl to know that he is dating or he doesn't want you to see his wall for whatever reason. Honestly it sounds like it's time for a talk about this issue.. get it out in the open and don't take excuses like it's the whole world's business... that is crap.
Author Ella whispers Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 [FONT=Georgia]I tell you this, and I tell you plain: What you have done, you will do again; You will bite your tongue, careful or not, Upon the already-bitten spot. ~Mignon McLaughlin[/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia]Yes it's facebook. He is officially divorced. I'm sure he's hiding something. I have no idea what it is. My gut told me a while back to drop him then we had a very long talk and we really talked and it's been uphill since then. I don't believe that it's just "It's my business" thing, that's total bs.[/FONT] [FONT=Georgia]The thing that pisses me off the most about people lying to me is that they think I'm stupid enough to believe it.[/FONT] [FONT=Georgia]I feel stupid for giving him a second chance. This kind of thing always happens when feelings are involved. Always.[/FONT]
Author Ella whispers Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 So, after a long discussion I told him that I didn't trust him and didn't want to continue seeing him. He finally broke down and told me the truth. He had been talking to 3 girls total and seeing one other. He showed me his phone and fb, contacted them and said he was sorry, he wouldn't be seeing them anymore, changed his status and wants to make a go of it. We have spent a lot of time together and for the most part things are going well. He said that one of the girls had texted him last night and was honest w/ me. I also was honest w/ him about things I haven't told anyone before. I am hoping that honesty and being open about everything will give us a good foundation to start again. It's really hard. Anyone ever started fresh like this and it worked out?
Art_Critic Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Ella.. brewing a relationship with 3 and actually having one with another and you think he will stop ? IMO... All he is going to do is get better at hiding.. but it is good you had the talk with him and at least it is all in the open but he will have to rebuild the trust with you. If there was ever a reason to kick a guy to the curb this was it.. 4 other girls...and the lying to asked questions. I hope it works out for you and hope he doesn't break your heart.. just don't lose who you are to him in this relationship and you will probably be fine...you have a great heart and seem very kind...
xpaperxcutx Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 So, after a long discussion I told him that I didn't trust him and didn't want to continue seeing him. He finally broke down and told me the truth. He had been talking to 3 girls total and seeing one other. He showed me his phone and fb, contacted them and said he was sorry, he wouldn't be seeing them anymore, changed his status and wants to make a go of it. We have spent a lot of time together and for the most part things are going well. He said that one of the girls had texted him last night and was honest w/ me. I also was honest w/ him about things I haven't told anyone before. I am hoping that honesty and being open about everything will give us a good foundation to start again. It's really hard. Anyone ever started fresh like this and it worked out? I would understand if it was the first month or two that he wanted to see other people but at 7 months you would think it means committment? This guy is too shady and I don't like it. If he can balance 4 people and a relationship, who's to say he won't do it again?
phineas Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 "talking" to 3 women? "seeing" another? He had 4 women on the line plus OP. I'd have to say there is a very good chance he was sleeping with at least one other woman. After 7 months with the op that's cheating. This guy is not a quality person. Normal guys don't just all of sudden have 5 real options when it comes to women. Those guys usually ALWAYS have that many options because the women just want him. This guy will just hide his cheating better.
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