How can i turn this into something more without coming off needy?

[studiomuffin]

Ok, First off who i am, i'm 18, british and going clubbing regulary.

My personality, I feel like i act like one of the lads, i love my football and in a group of friends who love to compete against each other at everything.

 

My situation, I went out last saturday night and i managed to pull some girl that went to my school and was a friend of my friend.

 

Now, at the night we were all having a laugh in a club and just chatting and we're all drunk a bit. Our friend tried to get her to kiss me but i didn't catch all of it. She said no but she seemly slightly shy since she was smiling and just having a laugh. After i get me and her and drink and go looking for someone, i come back and sit with her. Next thing i know, people were going and me and her were sitting and just cuddling on the sofa.

 

We end up leaving all together and trying to hold on to her hand most of the time. We end up loosing the rest and get each other's numbers when we are heading to the next club. Next thing i know we go into the club and we start making out. For me, It was quite passionate and my body took control at the moment with my male instincts kicking in. I had to leave then because i had work in the morning but i was close to scoring.

 

Now, i texted today and i decided to give a 1 day gap between it. When i texted her, she remembered me which is a good sign but i gotta the feeling i was too pushy in the texts. I tried to be cocky in the texts and just asked her out but she told me she didn't have the cash for the weekend and then i asked if she wanted to do something cheaper then since i wanted to hang out with her, she said maybe and i told "Well if you change your mind, let me know x". and she replied "will do...x"

 

For me that isn't a good sign on how to end a text. I was considering waiting till this sat to ask her out for a few drinks on me and hoping i get somewhere. I think i give her some more space then i can try my luck again.

I've asked her friend for a bit of a back ground check but i know she will tell her since women my age usually are like that.

 

How can i get that maybe into a yes and get my second round on her to maybe turn this fling into something more

[JungleLover]

I wouldn't call her on a Saturday. She will likely be busy so you will be setting yourself up for an increased risk of rejection especially since he interest level is iffy right now. Call her Thursday and ask her out for maybe Monday. I would make it something simple and something she is more likely to agree to do.

 

 

When she said she didn't have enough money for the weekend, I would have said it was on me since you were asking her out in the first place. You did well by not asking her friend about her but it is a good idea to continue to do what you were doing to get her interested in the first place. She was kissing you in the club so what ever you did to make that happen I would have stuck with that. If you wasn't cocky from the giddy up, I wouldn't all of a sudden become cocky.

[studiomuffin]

I wouldn't call her on a Saturday. She will likely be busy so you will be setting yourself up for an increased risk of rejection especially since he interest level is iffy right now. Call her Thursday and ask her out for maybe Monday. I would make it something simple and something she is more likely to agree to do.

 

 

When she said she didn't have enough money for the weekend, I would have said it was on me since you were asking her out in the first place. You did well by not asking her friend about her but it is a good idea to continue to do what you were doing to get her interested in the first place. She was kissing you in the club so what ever you did to make that happen I would have stuck with that. If you wasn't cocky from the giddy up, I wouldn't all of a sudden become cocky.

 

You seemed to have misread, i did ask her friend about her. Reason being is most women i seem interested in are already taken so i think a backround check is nessicary.

 

As for the thursday idea, I do think it might be an idea, but i've left it like she needs to text me since i already asked her if she wanted to meet up.

 

I will consider that, but i feel asking again would seem a bit desperate without waiting for her reply and asking again. Also shes in college while i work so i need to find a good time for us and something we would both enjoy. I don't have her added by when i checked her out of facebook, she was a twilight fan.

 

As for that night, Sadly due to the effects of alcohol, i don't remember all. All i remember is being friendly, bit forward and i guess flirty.

[JungleLover]

Ok so you asked her friend about her. That is not the end of the world but tie her friend into this. That feels sort of high schoolish. Go solo on the mission.

 

 

You are going to wait for her to call? I haven't had much luck with that myself. That is torture central waiting for someone to call you and most of the time they probably won't if their interest level is iffy which her seems to be. You can wait for her to call but she probably won't judging from how she reacted to your last invite and as more time foes by, the more you will fade from her alcohol associated memory. I wouldn't worry about looking desperate considering the story thus far. It sounds like you are losing this battle anyway so you don't have much to lose at this point. If she doesn't call by Thursday, call her.

[studiomuffin]

Ok so you asked her friend about her. That is not the end of the world but tie her friend into this. That feels sort of high schoolish. Go solo on the mission.

 

 

You are going to wait for her to call? I haven't had much luck with that myself. That is torture central waiting for someone to call you and most of the time they probably won't if their interest level is iffy which her seems to be. You can wait for her to call but she probably won't judging from how she reacted to your last invite and as more time foes by, the more you will fade from her alcohol associated memory. I wouldn't worry about looking desperate considering the story thus far. It sounds like you are losing this battle anyway so you don't have much to lose at this point. If she doesn't call by Thursday, call her.

 

Hmm, you seem quite right. To be fair i'm still young so i'm still at the learning curve of dating so far like most my age. Hopefully, offering to pay and not bringing their friends in will be something i will remember for future, though i got the impression that women enjoyed it when they asked about them to their friends. Makes them to centre of attention for a small portion.

 

I will probably end up asking her on thursday or friday like you suggested. I do kinda agree on your judgement that i don't have much to loose. To be fair i don't know allot about her so its very weak at the moment.

 

I guess my game plan will be call her so it isn't as digital and just see from there. Though i'm not quite sure what we could do to be honest. Could see a film or maybe go out for a short day doing something.

 

With any luck and i turn it all around and get her interest in me a bit higher. One thing i know for certain is something small must be there still for me if she was willing to do that stuff on saturday night. Though i also know that i shouldn't open up too much about how i feel this early since it might turn them away. Maybe just hint at a strong interest whilst teasing.

 

What do you think of that and any suggestions of what a good casual first date should be like.

[JungleLover]

I realize that you are young and I am not faulting you for anything you have done this far. You haven't done anything unreasonable at all. I just want to be clear that I do think you have a shot. She was obviously interested in you considering she made out with you. There is some ray of hope here. You still have a shot to get that interest up a bit.

 

 

As far as her friend goes, in my experience, when it comes to dating, it is best to keep things isolated between you and the woman of interest. I try to keep things a sour little world for a while. I don't do double dates or have us hang around friends until we are firmly established first. I just try not to drag anyone else into the picture until the foundation has be laid.

 

 

I agree that I wouldn't open up about how I feel or anything. She knows you are interested or you wouldn't be calling. No need to beat a dead horse but I am not sure why you feel the need to tease her. I am not saying that something is wrong with this but it sounds too formulaic. It sounds like you are purposely trying to do it and it is premeditated which can come off as phoney and unnatural.

 

 

A good first date, I think is some event that will make her laugh. Any cheap comedy events in your area. A small comedy club would be cool. Let someone else tease her.

[studiomuffin]

I realize that you are young and I am not faulting you for anything you have done this far. You haven't done anything unreasonable at all. I just want to be clear that I do think you have a shot. She was obviously interested in you considering she made out with you. There is some ray of hope here. You still have a shot to get that interest up a bit.

 

 

As far as her friend goes, in my experience, when it comes to dating, it is best to keep things isolated between you and the woman of interest. I try to keep things a sour little world for a while. I don't do double dates or have us hang around friends until we are firmly established first. I just try not to drag anyone else into the picture until the foundation has be laid.

 

 

I agree that I wouldn't open up about how I feel or anything. She knows you are interested or you wouldn't be calling. No need to beat a dead horse but I am not sure why you feel the need to tease her. I am not saying that something is wrong with this but it sounds too formulaic. It sounds like you are purposely trying to do it and it is premeditated which can come off as phoney and unnatural.

 

 

A good first date, I think is some event that will make her laugh. Any cheap comedy events in your area. A small comedy club would be cool. Let someone else tease her.

 

Thank you for the advice, I've come to the conclusion that i'm gonna follow your advice and call her on thursday and invite her out for say a film or if i can find a comedy show in Bath (Southern england). If not i might stick to a more feminine film if theres currently one.

 

With a little bit of luck i can work it into something. If she says no then i will leave it at that. Hopefully if it doesn't work out then i can try again this weekend and use this experience to do a better job. Thank you:)