That_girl Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I am the dumper in my story. Some of you may already know it based on my last few posts, but for those that don't, I'll give you the abbreviated version. Girl meets guy, everything moves really quickly (on his terms) and they end up in an 'exclusive' relationship. Guy goes on trip with friends, parties like an animal and 'fools around' with someone else. Guy comes home, tells girl the truth (upon being questioned for his awkward behaviour) and begs for her forgiveness. Girl is torn because although they haven't been dating long, she already has such strong feelings for him. She knows that he's really bad for her, and has the potential to hurt her...but she questions her instinct and continues to respond to his ploys once in a while. So yes, I am completely torn. This guy clearly has issues in many ways, and after everything that has happened- I'm certain that he is insane. It started out with constant text messages to see if I was alright, then a 20 page letter that he sent me apologizing for his actions (literally). Then he came over to my house one night while I was asleep and sprinkled rose petals EVERYWHERE. Then he made a short film for me demonstrating how sorry he was metaphorically (in that his friend was kicking his ass in it). And the list goes on....I let him back in for a second, but eventually a mutual friend told him to leave me alone and he did. Up until this weekend, when he had chocolate hearts delivered to my door. Okay....so I know that this is obsessive behaviour on HIS part. But I feel like I'm going insane too. I feel like I don't want it to stop. I have never pursued like this in my life....although on some level I know that it has nothing to do with me. It's just his guilt/insanity manifested. But I can't help but find it ridiculously....seductive. It's like he will go to any length to get me back. Recently he has tapered off a bit, and I think he will eventually stop. I thought that this was what I wanted all along....but now that it could happen, I feel so alone and depressed. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why am I addicted to controlling, manipulative, and selfish men? Could it daddy issues resurfacing? Besides the fact that this guy is genuinely apologetic, he is still wrong for me in so many other ways. I've been on dates since the while thing happened, but all I can think about is him. I feel like inviting him over all the time. I don't know what to do.
Author That_girl Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Anyone? I really need some guidance, I'm feeling like calling him tonight.
deebeechrisyo Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Well, you realize this guy is bad for you and you realize that something is wrong with yourself in that you have feelings for him. I don't think you need guidance, use your head and not your heart. And yes this guy has lots and lots of issues.
LoveTNT Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 (edited) ............ Edited November 9, 2010 by LoveTNT
lapse Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Gosh, I have to admit I like the film and rose petals... I do, however, have a thing for people who dwell on the margins of sanity. Not quite schizophrenia or anything like that, but I do love some intensity. Our society is really so narrow and so icy that I often feel that the only people who are distinctly themselves are the ones who express themselves in a slightly inappropriate way. However, I don't feel that the 'little mistake' he made was one of those ways. Do you want him back or do you like the attention? It's hard to respond constructively without knowing that. It sounds above like you are simply saying that it's bedaffling to you why you'd like that kind of attention. It makes sense to me... it's intense enough to feel super-real. The question is whether or not you can forgive him or want to... I think it would be really hard... to forgive. Unless you really understand why he did what he did.
Author That_girl Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I don't really know if I just liked the attention....or him. I definitely have feelings for the guy. I think about him all the time, but that is also because he keeps inserting himself into the forefront of my mind. I did have a crazy connection with him, so intimate that it makes me feel like I'm going insane. I think he is genuinely sorry, but it also seems like he is trying to forgive himself. He wants me to forgive him so badly so that he can forgive himself. I do think that he cheated because he was on a trip and felt like it. I know that he cared about me because he emailed me every single day that he was there. It was just a stupid, selfish thing that he did. I'm having a hard time deciding what to do. I just want to be with him because I want all of the passion and intensity that comes along with it. But I know in my heart that he is a mess, and not stable. It would be selfish of me to not give him time to get better on his own. If he decides not to...that's his problem, at that point. ****, this is hard. Just want to follow my heart for once. But not at the expense of my own sanity.
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