Nemicron Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I wouldn't blame you either man your dealing with slutty Army women also I have a very hard time trusting anyone.
skydiveaddict Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I wouldn't blame you either man your dealing with slutty Army women also I don't think that's it. I have never dated anyone in the army. My unit is all men. And being Nat'l Guard, we rarely interact with anyone outside of our unit. We simply dont have the opportunity.
Nemicron Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 oh... WEll I dunno I was full active. But still I dont really blame you I don't think that's it. I have never dated anyone in the army. My unit is all men. And being Nat'l Guard, we rarely interact with anyone outside of our unit. We simply dont have the opportunity.
skydiveaddict Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 (edited) oh... WEll I dunno I was full active. But still I dont really blame you Well, we've been called to active duty several times, but still tightly confined to our unit. Perhaps even more so then. I've just honestly not met a lot of women in the guard. (Except a few snotty officers), but you know how that goes I'm sure. it's just that there are no women allowed in combat engineer units. It's not open to them. Edited November 9, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Knittress Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I learned this the hard way. My ex was cold and aloof to strangers but incredibly loving and sensitive with me - until he one day decided he was done with me and I never heard from him again. After three years! It's because on some level he was a narcissistic ass who only valued people by their degree of usefulness to him, even 'loved' ones. How a person sees the random people in their lives is almost as important as how they treat YOU. Because all it takes is one rough patch for you to go from someone they care about to 'an outsider' who they can disregard and abuse. I'm done feeling like the 'special' one that gets into the loner's inner circle. From here on out I'm only interested in men that are indiscriminately kind and open towards everyone.
Author Titania22 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I learned this the hard way. My ex was cold and aloof to strangers but incredibly loving and sensitive with me - until he one day decided he was done with me and I never heard from him again. After three years! It's because on some level he was a narcissistic ass who only valued people by their degree of usefulness to him, even 'loved' ones. How a person sees the random people in their lives is almost as important as how they treat YOU. Because all it takes is one rough patch for you to go from someone they care about to 'an outsider' who they can disregard and abuse. I'm done feeling like the 'special' one that gets into the loner's inner circle. From here on out I'm only interested in men that are indiscriminately kind and open towards everyone. Yay! Good for you Knittress. Me too!
counterman Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 My ex use to bitch about her friends to me. I knew her deepest secret and I knew what she was really like. No one else saw her for what she was. I should have bailed the first time I saw a sign of this behaviour. I wasn't perfect either. I said some things that weren't very nice and that reflected my insecurities about the people around me. All of that culminated into a destructive relationship. There was this one guy I use to bad mouth a lot. He was a former friend of mine. I shared that with my ex when we were together. Basically, he has had history of breaking couples up and I didn't want to be part of that. His character was devious and he would go behind his friends' backs and hit on their girlfriends. I told my ex all of this and she assured that it will never happen. Her words... it is really funny now, looking back, how much I trusted and believe her. Sure, I had my doubts, but I put her words over my own intuition. Big mistake. Guess who she ends up dating after me? You guessed right. Her breaking up with me was the best thing that could ever happen. From that, I have been very objective with how I observe human behaviour. One of the fundamental aspects for me is not trying to sugarcoat any girls' behaviour. If she does something that is not to my liking, then I am not making any excuses for it. Not too long ago, one of the girls I was considering to date further said something that showed her attitude towards guys that not so attractive. It turned me off. So, I didn't end up seeing her again. Trust. Well, I am not going in blind like I use to. I'm more wary.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Just some food for thought from my own experiences. I don't know about women as I have been only with men, but I am sure this works both ways. I have found when a guy likes me, he will be willing to care and be ethical in his decisions. In my situation there has always ben an economic imbalance where I have have assets then them, even if they have more lifetime earning potential. So when it is good they would never try to take my property, etc etc. But when they don't want/like me anymore, that goes out the window, and all their promises are empty. I want to put out the concept of observing our partners and potential partners, not be how nice they are to us, but by how they treat their enemies and people they don't like. In this day and age, more likely then not you will find yourself on the other side eventually, and people seldom change their patterns of behaviour. Perhaps if we make these observations (quietly to ourselves, because you they will always say, but I would never do that to you), then we be ready, or at least not surprised, when the world of hurt is headed our way. In my experience it depends on the person. Mean people will always try to stick it to you when things go south. As if that will really make them feel better. I think men are less likely to be vindictive in marriage, but more likely to be vindictive in dating. My XGF is 29 she was cheating on me with a 46yo guy... who had broken up the marriage of a coworker 3 months prior... and before that slept with a friend mine who is gay. I was so amazed that she chose such a low character guy that I just didn't really feel vengeful. However, I am still really, really pissed that she tried to hang onto our relationship for so long. For months... even after I had caught her cheating almost red handed. She can be an evil bitch... but then again most women have that streak in them as well.
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