tobydog Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 How can a man who has loved you and needed you and grown because of you and done well, leave and show NO concern for me? He knows I have been off school, am ill and had a breakdown but he never shows the slightest concern, never asks his mum how I am, nothing. No concern for me at all, in the slightest. ?
willowthewisp Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I wish I could answer this for you Tobydog, but I am can't. Mine was the same, cut me out of his life completly after nearly 20 years, he doesn't even send a Christmas card. I will say this though, be grateful that you cannot comprehend why, it means you are not like him! One day you will begin to see that you deserve better than someone who would treat you like this and betray the intimacy you shared in this way. Are you able to get any counselling at all? I have found it really helpful, wish I had been able to get it sooner, probably would have saved me a lot of pain.
worlybear Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 How can a man who has loved you and needed you and grown because of you and done well, leave and show NO concern for me? He knows I have been off school, am ill and had a breakdown but he never shows the slightest concern, never asks his mum how I am, nothing. No concern for me at all, in the slightest. ? He's not showing you any concern because to do so would mean that he would have to acknowledge the huge part he has played towards contributing to your ill health- And cheaters never blame themselves, it's always somebody else's fault never theirs. In fact he's probably convinced himself that it was YOUR fault.(GUILT STRATEGY.) He's also worried that you may read reconciliation into any contact,however minimal. And finally, he's a coward and an a******e!!! Sounds just like my ex! Stay strong.:bunny:
just_some_guy Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 What are you doing about your drinking? As I remember the back story, his primary complaint was about your drinking. That you got drunk and violently lashed out at him. Now of course, it is more fun to man-bash. But it seems like there's more to the story than poor little you being left on your lonesome out of the blue.
Author tobydog Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 No-one here is anyone bashing! My drinking has stopped, just like that. Maybe I don't need to now, and anyway it's just me and my son now. Yes there seems to be more to the story, that he had an opportunity to go and made some silly drunken fracas the excuse. He is 6'3 and I am 5'2, hardly a man beater? I did not beat him,I lashed out once, am not a violent drunk and never hurt anyone in my life. Maybe I suspected there was someone else?
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