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There Is Hope

LostInLimbo

By LostInLimbo
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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LostInLimbo Established Member

LostInLimbo

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hey Everyone, Its been a long while since I have posted

 

I am not sure if this is the right section of the forum, but I posted it here because I practically lived in this section for a few years, dreaming and hoping that I would get my Ex Back, how I seen all the good things about her and never the bad things. I can only speak from a Dumpee's point of view because thats what happened to me 3 times by the same person (Read All threads Started By Me and you will see the crap I ALLOWED myself to be subjected to, knowing full well where i'd be and what it would get me)

 

This is a great Forum and so many people with Advice, I could never really say it was good advice nor bad advice, it was advice from someone on the outside, which is usually the best, but what really mattered was how and what I did with the advice. I am hoping I can put across to anyone that just recently got dumped, I really feel for you and even though you think it's not going to get better, take it from me "IT WILL GET BETTER" its gonna take time and ONLY YOU can make that time go by fast or dwell and drag it out.

 

When going through a Breakup and dwelling on it, it can really impact your health down the road as well as your confidence, I am not one to preach, because I dwelled, I now suffer from Anxiety Attacks, I am not saying that my breakup caused it, but I am saying it played a Big part and would never want to see anyone else go through it.

 

I have had so much Help on here from many members, to many to mention, one in paticular I do Remember was CaliGuy, I never liked his advice (no offence) why I didn't like it? because he was upfront and honest and it wasn't the answer I was looking for...but as time went on, his advice became more valuble for me (speaking for me only of course) and I wished I had taken it and utilized it.

 

So many people speak about NC NC NC (No Contact) let me say this, NC is great word of advice (depending on the situation of course... eg Kids) If I had followed it, I wouldn't have set myself up for repeat failures and if there is any advice to be given that would be it.... I am in a wonderful relationship with someone I truely love and best of all, she truely loves me back, because I finally learned to let go and whats even better is I no longer think not "is she going to leave me" "but when is she going to leave me" as I thought day and night in my last 4yr relationship for 3 yrs.

 

So Hopefully Remember This

 

1. Treat Yourself with respect, why want someone who doesn't want you

 

2. Don't allow yourself to be available for someone elses convenience because thats all it is CONVENIENCE

 

3. Move on (i know thats easier said then done) but hang around NON Mutual Friends and KEEP BUSY...

 

4. Don't ask about your Ex, there an Ex for a reason and don't let people talk to you about Him or Her as it will only set you back

 

5. Don't Look for your Ex, because what you may see will only hurt you (eg. Facebook)

 

6. And I STRESS TRY and Stay NC as you will heal faster, its simple, you don't stay NC and you go right back to square one of Starting NC, its to help you heal, not to win back your Ex, you may win them back, but who wins? you?or your Dumper who NEEDED to talk to you at the time?

 

I am sorry for such a long post and hope that you read through it, I just wanna say I really sympatize with the Dumpee's but Sympathy won't help youin some cases it may only hurt you and PLEASE remember IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!

 

LiL

(Sorry to the Mods if I posted in the wrong Section)

Edited by LostInLimbo
Fern Established Member

Fern

Posted
Posted

Thankyou for posting this. I needed reminding of some of this today. I've been dwelling and asking people for informationon my ex. Info I don't need and that only makes me feel bad.

 

Good luck with everything. You give us newbies hope!

cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

Posted
Posted

This is great advice and I just wanted to add a well-known tip: Compile a list of things you loathed about the person and refer to if whenever you're feeling like you want to contact him/her. The more detail the better! Write about times they dissed you, or hurt you, and how you felt. Get angry about it but keep it on the paper. Remember NO CONTACT! But this really helps!!

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