My story..hate this feeling

[jokesoflife]

Life feels so empty...I sometimes think about my ex and wonder what he will be doing with his new girlfriend while I sit here and sulk and feel lonely..Its so hard to believe when someone rejects you, and later act like being friends only out of sympathy because he rejected me and understood how much it hurts to be in my position.He rejected me because he had a bad experience with relationship and he was not in a mental state to get into a relationship at the time I was in love with him. Therefore not wanting his lame sympathy friendship, I cut all contacts with him. Despite of him giving me a lame reason and telling me how our two ways are separate, he went off to a new college and have a girlfriend, who seems to be really outgoing and better than me.Somehow the grass appears to be greener on the other side. But she always goes everywhere with him and they eventually started out as friends and now they are together. Why do cute guys get anyone they want with their charm and deceptive smile. I dont want to have this horrible feeling of loneliness and pain thinking about him? i dont understand how to combat this..I tried different activities like exercise, going out with friends, watching movies and killing my time doing something fun..yet I have this voice within me that keeps reminding me how I'm somehow lacking something that makes me feel awful about myself. my self esteem is crushed in a way that I rarely interact with boys. Because what happened to me seems unfair and I don't think I can dare to take revenge or do anything that can make me feel better about myself now. All I keep replaying in my head is why wasn't I good enough for him or what did I lack..This was my first experience in liking someone and it turned out to be like this I don't understand where to find the confidence, I also feel I lack the knowledge of life about how relationships work, friendship works, I'm and introvert and have always been like this.. I really can't anyway to change and I even consider my existence as being useless eversince, because i feel like commiting suicide, but wont have the courage to do anything. I hate this feeling of rejection.ITS SO NOT FAIR

[dreamingoftigers]

Life feels so empty...I sometimes think about my ex and wonder what he will be doing with his new girlfriend while I sit here and sulk and feel lonely.. (this action right here feeds the depression and low self-esteem. When these thoughts come on, just tell yourself "stop" and pick up a book or something. Try to actively replace your thoughts. ) Its so hard to believe when someone rejects you, and later act like being friends only out of sympathy because he rejected me and understood how much it hurts to be in my position. He rejected me because he had a bad experience with relationship and he was not in a mental state to get into a relationship at the time I was in love with him. Therefore not wanting his lame sympathy friendship, I cut all contacts with him. Despite of him giving me a lame reason and telling me how our two ways are separate, he went off to a new college and have a girlfriend, who seems to be really outgoing and better than me. (this is a pretty over-personalized judgment of yourself, you seriously can't think she is better than you, you can think that he likes her more, but that doesn't make her better.) Somehow the grass appears to be greener on the other side. But she always goes everywhere with him and they eventually started out as friends and now they are together. Why do cute guys get anyone they want with their charm and deceptive smile. I dont want to have this horrible feeling of loneliness and pain thinking about him? i dont understand how to combat this..I tried different activities like exercise, going out with friends, watching movies and killing my time doing something fun..yet I have this voice within me that keeps reminding me how I'm somehow lacking something that makes me feel awful about myself. my self esteem is crushed in a way that I rarely interact with boys. Because what happened to me seems unfair and I don't think I can dare to take revenge or do anything that can make me feel better about myself now. All I keep replaying in my head is why wasn't I good enough for him or what did I lack.. (This self-talk stems from somewhere else other than your failed relationship, anything similar lurking around in your childhood? Did your parents make you feel like you didn't live up to their standards? These things tend to repeat. In order to get past this, you must actively talk back to these thoughts, let yourself know it wasn't because you lack something. In fact it may have just been plain old timing, you will never know. In fact you don't know if he is even happy. The truth is he doesn't even matter anymore. This is your life and you have better things to do then donate energy to a cause with no point. Quit torturing yourself for nothing. This achieves nothing, no freedom, no life beyond him. This energy won't bring him back and won't bring back the good feelings either.) This was my first experience in liking someone and it turned out to be like this I don't understand where to find the confidence, I also feel I lack the knowledge of life about how relationships work, friendship works, I'm and introvert and have always been like this.. (this only comes with experience, so get back out there and get the experience to get past these things quicker). I really can't anyway to change and I even consider my existence as being useless eversince, because i feel like commiting suicide, but wont have the courage to do anything. I hate this feeling of rejection.ITS SO NOT FAIR

 

I have been there too, I hope that you seek instant treatment for depression. It is very debilitating and will eat up much of your life if you don't. Depression focuses your attention on the one thing you can't have and you can't focus on all of the things you do have.