havehope Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I previously asked for advice for going NC with my (on speaking terms) ex because I couldn't take it anymore. Thanks to your inputs, I decided that I would tell him why, instead of randomly ignoring him and doing it without explanation. I'm trying to keep what I want to say short, tactful and classy (and not emotionally charged, but its so hard). I've been NC for a few weeks now. So.... Do I wait for him to contact me for me to tell him we can't talk anymore? Do I contact him first and tell him? NC is killing me right now, but just thinking about having to break it and start over again once I tell him is making me wonder if I should just mail him a letter instead of hearing his voice to do it? The only hesitation with that is - what if he never opens it/it gets lost/he shows it to the world? I think it has telephone convo importance (but I could be wrong), and I'd like to think we are mature people in our 20s who can handle that conversation, but he's a runner, so he might hang up without me getting everything out...
Leandro Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 well good job on NC. Don't break it just to tell him why you've been in NC. If he breaks contact, you can tell him if you want. Yes, NC does hurt. I've been at it for almost 9 weeks tomorrow. I don't know about the letter or email. I wrote my ex a 4 page letter and got no reply, it hurt much more than texting. she ignored me. It all comes down to what you think is best for you to heal.
rebeccajones Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Email? Let him know you want NC so you can move on. You have to really want to move on and NC will help you to. You are not together anymore he should understand your decision. I don't think I'd call that would be could be hurtful.
Author havehope Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 I don't want to go straight NC without telling him, since its taken us about a year to be on speaking terms. I guess if I write the letter, its out of my hands as to whether he reads it or not - he might never read it. It probably would be a hard phone call, but at least I know he would know why I was doing it (as opposed to the letter he might not open). I never got closure and I'm hoping I can this way. I dont want to be mean about it, but I want him to know what he did was unacceptable and thats why I can't be friends anymore. I wish I didn't care anymore - otherwise I probably wouldn't be in this situation
Recommended Posts