Craneskin Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Hi there everyone! I just found this forum, and I thought I'd just run something very intense that happened to me this year past all of you, because there must be someone out there who can give me a few pointers on getting over a very, very beautiful girl who blew through my life like a tornado (and destroyed it in the process) earlier this year.. For the last two years, I've been a barman in a hotel in the Highlands of Scotland.. It's a stunning place to live and work, though the communities are very small, and I finished up sharing an apartment in the hotel with an absolutely wonderful girl for two amazing winters.. When the tourist season dies down, the hotel more-or-less closes, so we had the run of the place to ourselves. Over the first winter, we became good friends, but over the second winter, something more intimate developed.. We were just playing around one night, then.. Well, you can guess the rest. Anyway, over the next three months I fell head-over-heels in love with her.. I mean, crazily in love, obsessed in love.. The kind of love where it hurts when she left the room.. My heart really did skip a beat when I saw her, and every waking moment belonged to her if she needed it. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy.. I would come back to the hotel at night with the groceries, make dinner, argue about music with her and challenge her to a pillow-fight to see who was right, watch "House" on TV with her using me as a cushion and listen to her breathing as she fell asleep in my arms. I knew it couldn't last: she was quite a lot younger than me, and she thought she was only having a bit of fun. But I felt more for her than that.. A lot more. I almost bought an engagement ring and asked her to marry me. I told her several times that I was falling in love with her, and that I had very, very strong feelings for her, but I think the whole relationship was only sex and playing around as far as she was concerned. When she left, she shacked-up with the hotel's head chef when he moved back in the Spring: in the same apartment, right through the wall from my room. And she couldn't understand why I subsequently went crazy with both of them several months later. That outburst cost me my job, my home, and my whole life, and I'm now back living at my Dad's house in Glasgow 'til I find a new job. Trouble is, I still love her. It's been three months since The Big Fall-Out, but I still want her as much as I ever did. I wold have cared for that girl and treated her like the beautiful princess that she is for the rest of her life, but all she wants to do is have sex with the head chef, who has a big, brash, arrogant personality that just forced me into the background as soon as he came back. I miss her every minute of every day. I know I have to put this all behind me and move on, but I'm finding it very difficult.. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation, and how you managed to deal with it..? Thanks in advance for reading all this angst, and thank you for any advice you might have..
D-Lish Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 If you want respect, you have to have respect for yourself- and if you respected yourself, you wouldn't have put up with being treated how she treated you. Bottom line.
Capital P Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 No girl wants to be treated like that much of a princess. They need a challenge. Once you started becoming too needy she would have started to lose attraction. going back you should have kept her guessing, held back, acted like she wasnt the only thing in your life. If you want her back from this point, which doesnt look likely you need to get some more women. She needs to see you being attractive to other people, having a life that doesnt involve her. Whatver you do, dont be more needy. Stand up for yourself
Author Craneskin Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Thanks for that food-for thought, guys.. I never thought of it that way, but you're both right. I went nuts over the girl because she was there all the time, and we were alone together in this isolated hotel in the wilds of Scotland.. There were no other girls for me to show any interest in, so there was never any suggestion of competition! I am low on self-respect, that's true, and for a guy in his late 30s like me (and I've been single most of my life) to have a wonderful girl in her early 20s showing interest in me was just too much to resist. She became everything to me, and I was devastated when she tossed me aside for another guy (who's the same age as me, incidentally) without even caring about how I'd feel about them fooling around in the next room. I nearly went crazy this summer because of it. I know I'll never, ever win her back.. There's too much damage done. I still want to be friends, but that's going to take a lot of time, I think. She says the way I reacted hurt her badly, and only time will tell if we can ever be friends again.. I suppose I'll just have to settle for that! I just want to get over her and move on.. I guess I won't be able to do that properly unless I meet someone new.. But I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving her. As I told her the other day when she E-Mailed me: You built a door in my heart that no-one else has ever done.. And the key is yours, always.".
Capital P Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 yea u need to stop sending stupid emails like that for a start dude Your attraction value is getting lower and lower until she will start to see you as wierd creepy ex boyfriend dude Read the forums , No contact. You pouring your heart out to her once she has left is the worst thing you can do And if i were you, and ive been to Scotland, id move the hell out of there. The women are on average very poor Get yourself to the US. With a UK accent you can clean up , seriously, they love it out there, they will think you are James Bond Im sure Scotland has the highest suicide rate, no offence dude , but its not surprising
Banega100 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 yea u need to stop sending stupid emails like that for a start dude Your attraction value is getting lower and lower until she will start to see you as wierd creepy ex boyfriend dude Read the forums , No contact. You pouring your heart out to her once she has left is the worst thing you can do And if i were you, and ive been to Scotland, id move the hell out of there. The women are on average very poor Get yourself to the US. With a UK accent you can clean up , seriously, they love it out there, they will think you are James Bond Im sure Scotland has the highest suicide rate, no offence dude , but its not surprising Ha ha ha! I like the sound of getting out into the US...
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