mogul Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I know it's bad for me, yet I have this type that I like and attract/attracted to. Usually, they are the type of girls that are really feminine, nails done, dresses more on the provocative side and generally high maintenance. Not only am I attracted to their appearance but I love their attitude. The "i'm better than everyone" attitude is SOO attractive. I love it when they walk with their heads high, and know they are attractive. As bad as this sounds, I meet most of these women at clubs/bars. I kind of am in the relationship phase at the moment and want to find someone to really get along well with. Yet, because of my likes, all i seem is to go out and have a few dates with these girls and nothing really lasts past the third meeting. I'm usually bored, or am scared to develop feelings for these type of women. I've been in relationship's with these types and it always leads to fights over petty stuff, such as time management and respect. Its fun to date someone and feel good walking in to a restaurant or club with them, but I don't think I can get over their promiscuousness and get in a relationship with them. I was recently out with a cute, down to earth girl but was turned off by how humble she is and ended the date early. Sounds bad... I want to really have a different mentality. I really do want a cute, intelligent, girl with substance. I just don't know i attract these type of girls and yet also attracted to their type. Am i alone on this, or is there something about the high maintenance type girls that is a turn on?
Seamless74 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 outside of their looks theres nothing attractive about that type,,, dont know how old you are but youll eventually not be so attracted to those girls.. I think if you look hard enough youll find the happy medium between the two types you mentioned.. Thats where its at bro...
Author mogul Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 The women i'm talking about are in the age group of 22-25. I like how they are selective with guys they date, and extremely feminine. I really am trying to make myself attracted to the normal cute, down to earth type though. Has anyone else gone through this phase or like this type?
Els Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 You like what you like. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to a particular type of person - if humble and down to earth isn't doing it for you, why force yourself? It would probably be easier to learn how to establish boundaries for a healthy relationship with your high-maintenance type instead. I'm also not sure why you consider them promiscuous.
utterer of lies Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 The women i'm talking about are in the age group of 22-25. I like how they are selective with guys they date, and extremely feminine. I really am trying to make myself attracted to the normal cute, down to earth type though. Has anyone else gone through this phase or like this type? It can work for a longer time if you are dominant enough. Don't try to change your time, it won't work and will only make you unhappy.
D-Jam Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 mogul, you're unfortunately the male version of the "bad boy chaser". You've fallen into the same trap many women fall into where they perceive a wonderful mate in someone who is anything but. I remember a RL I had years ago with a "good girl" who was a bit too "good" in some respects and also had a strict family. Our RL ended after three years because she fell out of love with me, and wanted to see other guys. I remember this was hard on me because this girl didn't believe in pre-marital sex, was intelligent and very cute, and her strict family did make things challenging at times to date her. When things ended, I felt like I had settled for less in her. That I wanted a woman who wasn't tied down with strict families, kids, etc...someone who is able, willing, and not afraid of the idea of dating. I also wanted a woman who was able to go out, have fun, and wasn't against pre-marital sex. What I ended up doing was wasting (and I will use the term wasting) several years of my life pursuing club chicks and other high-maintenance women like you do now. I felt that these women were single, available, and fun-loving...as well as hot. The problem...I really wasn't what they wanted in a man. They were bad boy chasers, and wanted an uber-hot wealthy exciting man who could give them a life of luxury and adventure. Most of them were generally the "pump and dump" girls for these guys...as they would get into a RL, post loads of photos on social network sites of them in VIP booths and on trips...but then later lament on how he dumped her for another girl, or cheated. SO...my role ended up being the guy they tried to friendzone and make into a crying blanket...or they simply will be all receptive, flirty, but then vanish when talk of "date" came out. Plenty of them would agree to plans, but then blow me off or vanish when I'm supposed to call them and confirm things. Hence why I push never to settle for soft plans. My girlfriend now is perfect (in my eyes). She's not afraid to go out and do things, but isn't seeking lavish nights in the VIP booth and sudden weekends in Vegas. She's grounded and down-to-Earth, and takes happiness in simple things like cooking a dinner together...rather than require her man take her to a $50-a-plate spot. She's a pretty girl, but isn't all about "I'm so hot and thus I make the rules". What changed me from club chicks to my girlfriend was pain. I'd been hurt and burned a lot, but I also needed to see (and I push it here) how worthtless those particular women are. Think about it...if the "alpha males" these women want only see them as "good for a lay", then why should you think these women are "girlfriend potential"? The lesson I learned is the one I push on men and women who keep running after looks, money, and excitement as the high priorities. A man or a woman can be hot and make your hormones go nuts...but WILL HE/SHE BE GOOD TO YOU? The big one. Right now I come home to my GF and I get a smile rather than nagging. I get a hug when I'm down, not her on the phone all night with gal pals. I get trust, rather than drama. I get unconditional love rather than lust for what I can give her. For all the talk of nice guys and nice girls, I see many more of the "nice" people ending up happily married, while the "pretty people" are alone. Why do you think that is? I know women who were aspiring models and were worshipped by guys left and right. Now they can't trust any guys, have loads of baggage, still seek out an above-average looking guy, and yet think no one is good enough. Always look at people for who they are...not what you think they could be to you. Never sit there with a fantasy in your mind of the ideal RL with this person, but what you believe would be the actual RL. It's pointless if she'll spend your money and then cheat on you. Think longer term than 20s and 30s. You get older and suddenly you can't fit in with those crowds. I laugh even at guys or women who try to party with 20-25 year olds when they are 30-40. They don't fit in, they know they don't fit in, and they still lament on how ****ty dating is.
Mad Max Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I don't care how hot these girls are, they are not worth it. I'm glad I learned that in my teens and not at 30. After I learned my lesson, I vowed that the only way I would date a hot girl is if she proved she had a great personality and wasn't high maintenance. Unfortunately, most of the 9s and 10s, and even many 8s are shallow, materialistic, and high maintenance.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I know it's bad for me, yet I have this type that I like and attract/attracted to. Usually, they are the type of girls that are really feminine, nails done, dresses more on the provocative side and generally high maintenance. Not only am I attracted to their appearance but I love their attitude. The "i'm better than everyone" attitude is SOO attractive. I love it when they walk with their heads high, and know they are attractive. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Run from these women! They are crazy ho-bags! I've done my time with those kinds of girls and I it's just not worth it.
Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 There are women with hot bodies and who look good, who are not high maintenance... I am as attractive and have a better body than most women who wear make up and are good at " painting their faces" lol. However, the only make up I wear is mascara, and I do not do anything else, besides shower, wash well, eat well, and work out and take care of myself. I do not bother with hair straighteners, or much make up, or things like that, yet I walk with confidence in my body, because I eat well and have a great fitness routine, and feel GOOD about my body. Why don't find women like me, who are just as physicallly attractive as :" high maintenance, heavily made up" women? " down to earth" girls who DO NOT spend an hour getting ready each day, can have a GREAT sense of style with clothes, and look elegant and have the same energy as high maintenance girls. I don't know if girls like me are rare. Perhaps they are; I have a good sense of style naturally, and take care off my body, so I do not really need heavy make up or much time spent making myself look artificially good. I know a lot of natural beauties, who are not heavily made up. What types of girls are you referring to? The women who are not only slim and beautiful IN ADDITION to amping up their natural beauty with heavy make up? Or on the other hand, are you infering that girls who are naturally beautiful but DO NOT bother with make up, are not as attractive as beautiful women who obviously make a lot of time and effort on their make up?
Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I don't care how hot these girls are, they are not worth it. I'm glad I learned that in my teens and not at 30. After I learned my lesson, I vowed that the only way I would date a hot girl is if she proved she had a great personality and wasn't high maintenance. Unfortunately, most of the 9s and 10s, and even many 8s are shallow, materialistic, and high maintenance. I am only a 7 , however, when I have had friends make me up well, I am a 9; I have good enough features to fake a 9. However, if I was a 9 or 10, or even an 8 NATURALLY, I cannot see WHY such an attractive women WOULD BOTHER with make up!!! Heck, if i was that attractive, I would totally not bother having to MAKE myself attractive, seeing as I naturally already WAS.
espec10001 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 You want a high maintenance chick. Better have the $$$ in order to finance the upkeep of them! They are NOT CHEAP!
Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I think I would be the " high maintenance chick" if I bothered to get good at applying make up, and doing my hair; and you know what? I would be grumpy and boring and resentful and have a R EAL attitude due to having to BOTHER with my freakin make up so much LOL. I can see why such chicks are a chore; how annoying would it be to bother so much with your appearance every single day? I think I will settle for being only " slightly" above average as a 7, then to spend 2 hours a day to be a high maintenance 9 - 10. Which again, I have been on 3 or so occasions, the times I had my hair and make up done. BY other people - so I did not have to endure the hardships of doing it myself regularly.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 (edited) In addition to everything else everyone has said (I really liked D-Jam's post), I need to throw something else in. There seems to be a little confusion in the meaning "high maintenance." Just because a girl is "high maintenance" in the sense that she takes time to do her hair and makeup every day, does not mean she's "high maintenance" to be in a relationship with. Since I work in the cosmetology industry I do take time in the morning to make sure my hair, make-up, and clothes look not only professional but fashion - forward. I view getting ready as my "play time," I love trying out a new eyeshadow shade or hairstyling technique. That's not to say I can't leave the house without my hair and makeup done, but for work days and going out I do have a routine. I blow-dry (usually with a roundbrush) and style my hair, which, with thick hair like mine, can take up to a half hour all by itself. Add ten minutes for make-up and ten minutes for my shower, I'm clocking in at almost an hour, which was quoted by another user as being "high maintenance." However, the way I live my life and the way I have relationships does not correspond with the rest of your post. I go to clubs maybe once a month max, I've been with the same wonderful boyfriend for over two years who, while he treats me well, has nowhere near the amount of money or leisure necessary to give me the jet-setting, gift-giving, expensive dining lifestyle mentioned in other posts. So just to clarify, there are girls who spend time on their appearance who aren't greedy, materialistic b*tches. Why not look for the pretty, glamourous type you seek somewhere other than a club? Edited November 8, 2010 by kiss_andmakeup
Author mogul Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Like everyone has mentioned, my biggest issue is time management with high maintenance girls. I don't necessarily think they are gold diggers, I have met many that are either spoiled rich by parents or make their own money. Regardless, I will treat them well but will not but a atm to them. Its hard to find a really feminine type that isn't high maintenance imo. I don't know why i constantly attract these types of women though. I have been called high maintenance myself by the down to earth, humble girls. I don't get that, because I would like to think of myself as nice and respectful.
JungleLover Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I have learned to stay away from high maintenance women. They are great to show off to your friends and maybe roll around in bed with but it's nothing but emptiness outside of that. They think they deserve the best of every thing because of materialistic things they have and good looks but offer nothing in return but possible pain.
Leigh 87 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 But what about the naturally beutiful women? Surely, there are plenty of slim and attractive women that are good looking enough to not need to bother with lots of make up and such things? Do most good looking women, in your experiences, also wear a lot of make up and other similar things that meet the criteria for " high maintenance"? It is a shame the good lookers learnt that if only they developed an awsome pesonality, that they would have the world at the feet? Because it increases peoples opportunities and luck if you are attractive enough to get peoples attention; if they are actually nice people too, then they would be able to have lots of lovely people in their lives, and attain it slightly easier than an average, yet awsome women. SImply because their looks grab more peoples attention. Perhaps the reason a lot of you have not met a hot AND great women, is due to a few things: - First of all, you could catch them in an off mood. Even people with great personalities, have off moments or even whole days. - Because these people are so attractive, perhaps they simple attract more peopel to talk to them, and are very busy with other people, and do not invest much time getting to kno others, due to being already socially busy. I mean, even the nicest person ( who in this case, is hypothetically attractive), only has a certain amount of time in their day, and cannot simply run around making friends and letting every one get to know them. Perhaps becayse attractive people, who also have great personalities, have a lot of options socially, most people do not get to know the very attractive people well enough to determine if they really do have an awful pesonality?
D-Jam Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 High maintenance to me is mostly with her attitude. She could look and come off as the girl next door, but if she's a picky control freak, then that's as high maintenance as the girl who dresses like a hooker and chases money/excitement. The reality is it's down to the person to decide what they want. Just look at things realistically and see people for who they really are. I'll even change genders here. Imagine a girl meets a guy who is deep into fitness and ends up nudging on any girl he dates to work out a lot and have a model's body (even pushing for her to get cosmetic surgery). Plus he gets on her case when she's lounging around the house dressed like a slob as opposed to being all dolled up...that's a high maintenance man. So the girl who sees, is attracted to, and knows what this guy is like needs to realize that this is what she's buying into if she dates him...and shouldn't complain later if he makes her feel like crap because she won't go down to 2% body fat and get a boob job. Same with guys...if you see she's the type who is all about how she looks and how her man looks, and only seemingly is interested in a life of luxury...or she constantly nitpicks everything a guy does...then you see who she is and need to realize that's what you're getting into when you date her.
betamanlet Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I know it's bad for me, yet I have this type that I like and attract/attracted to. Usually, they are the type of girls that are really feminine, nails done, dresses more on the provocative side and generally high maintenance. Not only am I attracted to their appearance but I love their attitude. The "i'm better than everyone" attitude is SOO attractive. I love it when they walk with their heads high, and know they are attractive. As bad as this sounds, I meet most of these women at clubs/bars. I kind of am in the relationship phase at the moment and want to find someone to really get along well with. Yet, because of my likes, all i seem is to go out and have a few dates with these girls and nothing really lasts past the third meeting. I'm usually bored, or am scared to develop feelings for these type of women. I've been in relationship's with these types and it always leads to fights over petty stuff, such as time management and respect. Its fun to date someone and feel good walking in to a restaurant or club with them, but I don't think I can get over their promiscuousness and get in a relationship with them. I was recently out with a cute, down to earth girl but was turned off by how humble she is and ended the date early. Sounds bad... I want to really have a different mentality. I really do want a cute, intelligent, girl with substance. I just don't know i attract these type of girls and yet also attracted to their type. Am i alone on this, or is there something about the high maintenance type girls that is a turn on? The women you like repell me. I bet I can know a trick for you to use. You can probably pick women, based upon the things you described, by how loud the noise her shoes make. The louder the shoes, the more high maintenance/snobby/whatever they probably are. At least you know she likes attention, because everyone can hear those shoes.
Author mogul Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 The women you like repell me. I bet I can know a trick for you to use. You can probably pick women, based upon the things you described, by how loud the noise her shoes make. The louder the shoes, the more high maintenance/snobby/whatever they probably are. At least you know she likes attention, because everyone can hear those shoes. Thats actually not the case at all. They can be dressed down and cute, yet I still manage to be able to pick them out of a crowd. Only after several dates or going places together, do certain character flaws come out for me to label them as high maintenance. Maybe I am confusing this with something, but i'm just so attracted to the way they handle themselves, their walk, and overall demeanor.
fishtaco Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 mogul, you can't have the cake and eat it too. It's important to know what you want. And I think you do. But what you want will change over time. So I say if you want trophies, by all means jump right in and have fun. One day, you'll get sick of them, and suddenly you'll become attracted to the relationship types, without any self mental arm twisting on your part.
Woggle Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I will tell you the same thing I would tell a woman who only likes jerks. If you chase women who you know will treat you badly you are not a victim.
fishtaco Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I will tell you the same thing I would tell a woman who only likes jerks. If you chase women who you know will treat you badly you are not a victim. I think of it as whatever it is that you want, be prepared to pay the price for it. And EVERYTHING, has a price.
LisaLee Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 But what about the naturally beutiful women? Surely, there are plenty of slim and attractive women that are good looking enough to not need to bother with lots of make up and such things? Leigh, I challenge you to make one post... one time... about an attractive woman without saying anything about weight, slim, body, etc. Because your idea of attractiveness is not the universal ideal.
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