diablodude64 Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I have been dating my girlfriend for just over a year now. We have always gotten along great and showed a lot of affection and care for each other. We saw each other everyday for long periods of time from the day we met each other up until about the 27th of September when we both headed off to college. I visit her as often as I can, like on the weekends now. Slowly over these last couple of weeks I feel like she's not really trying or interested in me. By this I mean I don't feel like when we talk that she actually wants to, and when she calls me it's only to say good night or something like that, then get off the phone. Lately, the past couple of days, I have been thinking a lot, not getting any sleep and I have been thinking that maybe if I wasn't so available and willing to talk and do anything for her she wouldn't feel like she could take me for granted. I thought that girls wanted to feel wanted but maybe i'm just giving to much. I have been thinking that maybe the only way to fix anything is to stop everything... Help me out here... Thanks
Confusing Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I think perhaps you need to tell her exactly what you said in your thread. Tell her you don't feel like things between you are the same as they used to be and straight up ask her if something is wrong. Dancing between the whole "nice guy" and "unavailable guy" is a bad idea. It could make things worse and push the distance between the two of you further apart. Just be upfront and honest with her. Communication or lack of it, seems to be the basis for a lot of relationship problems. Talking to her about what bothers you should be the first thing you do. If she's unwilling to communicate back, then it may be time to move on.
Author diablodude64 Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 I don't treat our relationship like a high school relationship, where one of the people in the relationship, or both, are immature about various situations. I tell her how I feel, and maybe I don't express myself like I should, or to my best ability, but even at face value I don't think what I say could be less blunt. I agree with the going back and forth between being the nice-guy and the unavailable guy, I don't want to do that. I don't want to have to play games to make her or anyone feel a certain way about me, that would be fake. Communication is probably better on my part. It wasn't always but she told me she wanted it to be so I made it better, same with affection. I grew up with the idea that blunt was good, I changed that because obviously you need a little class and I saw that she wanted affection. This doesn't mean I contort myself to be with her, far from it, but when I see something that lacks a good quality i'm all for fixing it, if it hurts her, I am willing to deal with it the right way. I will talk to her, but she recently went on a retreat for a church activity, and it seems like everytime she goes to one of these, once again I lose more attention for about 2 weeks, then she comes back to being herself. Thanks
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