Nikki Sahagin Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I know this doesn't matter, but it's affecting me somewhat lately. ALL of my friends are either in relationships or getting into them (three in the last week). I think out of all of them, i'm the one that's been single the longest (since feb?) I can't help but wonder is there is something 'wrong' with me. I don't know that I want a relationship and there's NO ONE i'm interested in romantically at all. At the same time i'm not looking and if any guys like me, I blow them off, because I don't like them back in that way. I can see how unready I am because a man's interest in me puts me off, so clearly i'm not ready for anything. But I can't help but see everyone else getting into relationships and thinking maybe I should be too. Maybe this is just what happens what happens when you see everyone do something; you start to get itchy that you are 'doing the wrong thing'. Does anyone else feel this way? I guess I just need some reassurance. I can't see myself getting into another relationship for a long time - I just don't like anyone.
durkadurka Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I know this doesn't matter, but it's affecting me somewhat lately. ALL of my friends are either in relationships or getting into them (three in the last week). I think out of all of them, i'm the one that's been single the longest (since feb?) I can't help but wonder is there is something 'wrong' with me. I don't know that I want a relationship and there's NO ONE i'm interested in romantically at all. At the same time i'm not looking and if any guys like me, I blow them off, because I don't like them back in that way. I can see how unready I am because a man's interest in me puts me off, so clearly i'm not ready for anything. But I can't help but see everyone else getting into relationships and thinking maybe I should be too. Maybe this is just what happens what happens when you see everyone do something; you start to get itchy that you are 'doing the wrong thing'. Does anyone else feel this way? I guess I just need some reassurance. I can't see myself getting into another relationship for a long time - I just don't like anyone. I have to say that this has been the hardest part about breaking up with my girlfriend. I feel like I've taken a step back in my life, moved out of my apartment and into a place that isn't as nice, going out and seeing so many couples all around me, and for a brief moment it makes me miss being with my ex. We had some really good times together, but we neither possessed the intelligence or maturity to be able to talk about it, that's my regret. At a certain point we stopped working towards the same thing. It's a tearing experience. I, like you, don't like anyone really either. I feel pressured to get back into a relationship because if I am not in one I feel socially isolated.
davisc123 Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Yes I feel exactly the same way. All of my closest friends are in a relationship/engaged/have a family. I'm only in my mid 20's, but it seems in that sense my break up came at a bad time. When I was with my ex there was always a group of my friends who were single at some stage. They are all good guys though, I am never stuck for things to do. But it would be nice not to be the only one like this especially when I am in the company of the 'couples'. I feel like a sad case. But one thing is for sure, there is nothing wrong with either of us. It's just the timing of things. I am not about to jump into a relationship with anybody because everybody else is, I am exactly the same in that there is simply nobody I'm interested in. Even if there was I would probably scare them away by talking incessantly about my ex. So don't do anything that doesn't feel natural, it would only be counter productive! And apart from anything else you dont want somebody amazing passing you by because you're trying to force things with somebody for the sake of it.
Div Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I feel similarly - single since May and even though love has hurt me so much i have not given up on it and still would like to find that special someone. I think its important to remember that not all relationships are happy - you may see many of your friends in them but it dosent mean they are getting by any better than you are. Sure they may look rosey on the surface but only the two people in the relationship will ever know how its REALLY going. They may be too dependant or afraid to leave each other, now look at yourself being single and where would you rather be? A failing relationship or just by yourself working on your own life. In time you will find the right one and you'll know when you meet them. For now just continue working on yourself and don't compare yourself to other couples. Be happy for them and realise there are reasons you are not with your Ex, so eventually you could meet the right person. Chin up
havehope Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I can relate almost exactly to what you've said, only its been 1.5years for me being single - I recently posted my own thread on the topic. Even though I still have horrible days where I'm upset, I'm trying to focus on myself. We have to be our own person before we can be a person for someone else. Div has a good point though, that some people in relationships aren't happy either. I haven't dated anyone since him, and was not romantically interested in the few guys that came along who were interested. I can relate to durkadurka too in that I feel socially isolated without a relationship.( and I HATE that) But we have remember we have friends that love us... and that there are worse things than being alone. We need to take full advantage of being single (to work on ourselves, do new things, get better self estem) so we're ready for the relationship when it does come.
D-Lish Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Nikki... I had such a good social circle with single gf's. We all used to meet at the gym everyday, hop on a treadmill, and just have our girl time. We hung out on weekends, everything was great. One by one, my gf's started to see someone- and within 3 months, I was at the gym by myself, without anything to do on the weekends. I actually don't have a single gf at the moment- so that leaves me home alone on the weekends, and I just work out at home now. I have 2 room mates- one is single, and one has a gf in another province- these guys are my social life currently. The problem is, when I go out with guys- other guys don't approach me because they assume I am out with my bf.
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