curiousbell Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Would you be in your friends' (friends with both the bride and groom) wedding if you knew that he/she had been unfaithful on multiple occasions with two different people only weeks before the wedding? And, that he/she is withholding admitting to their partner their mistake. Physical and emotional cheating.
desertIslandCactus Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 You are friends with both the bride and groom. Have you thought of asking the cheater, that since you are a participant in the ceremony - Do they expect to be faithful after marriage?
JaneK Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 You could confront your friend about his/her mistake, and tell them that what they did is unfair and tell them they need to sort out their priorities. This could potentially disrupt your friendship with this person and that will inevitably decide whether or not you shall be going to the wedding as you might/ might not still be friends with this person depending on how they take your invasion. Or you could not say anything depending on whether it is your place to do so and let your friends go on to marry eachother, and potentially find out in years to come about eachothers infedelity. I personally would not go to the wedding and tell the person who is cheating why especially if I was a close friend to their partner aswell.
Author curiousbell Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 Have you thought of asking the cheater, that since you are a participant in the ceremony - Do they expect to be faithful after marriage? Of course she expects to, but she also expected to stop cheating after the first time.
Author curiousbell Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 You could confront your friend about his/her mistake, and tell them that what they did is unfair and tell them they need to sort out their priorities. This could potentially disrupt your friendship with this person and that will inevitably decide whether or not you shall be going to the wedding as you might/ might not still be friends with this person depending on how they take your invasion. Or you could not say anything depending on whether it is your place to do so and let your friends go on to marry eachother, and potentially find out in years to come about eachothers infedelity. I personally would not go to the wedding and tell the person who is cheating why especially if I was a close friend to their partner aswell. I already made my actions for the situation, I was just curious to see how others would go about it.
Citizen Erased Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I would inform them that I would not be involved in the wedding. I can keep my mouth shut but I can't be ok with supporting a marriage starting like that.
Crusoe Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 There was no wedding, I told the groom. He remained a friend, the bride didn't. No great loss.
Author curiousbell Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 Which one cheated? I have my guess. The bride.
Cee Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I would never attend the wedding. And I'd urge the bride to tell the truth before the wedding. Might as well save them the awful pain of a divorce.
Author curiousbell Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 Being in the wedding, it was especially hard, but that's exactly what I did, Cee. I guess my way of urging was telling her I couldn't be in the wedding until it was discussed with him. She told him that night, but not the whole truth. They ended up still getting married, but she cut ties with me that night. And, consequently, her husband had to cut ties with me as well. (Healthy relationship, right?)
JAGeezer Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Being in the wedding, it was especially hard, but that's exactly what I did, Cee. I guess my way of urging was telling her I couldn't be in the wedding until it was discussed with him. She told him that night, but not the whole truth. They ended up still getting married, but she cut ties with me that night. And, consequently, her husband had to cut ties with me as well. (Healthy relationship, right?) People are very often only too happy to shoot the messenger. It's called denial. Don't let it worry you. Friends like that you don't need, and their stupidity (his and hers both) will be its own reward. JAG
PegNosePete Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I would have told the bride to fess up (and give a date to do it by, a few days or maybe a week) or I would spill.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Would you be in your friends' (friends with both the bride and groom) wedding if you knew that he/she had been unfaithful on multiple occasions with two different people only weeks before the wedding? And, that he/she is withholding admitting to their partner their mistake. Physical and emotional cheating. no.......you are there to support the wedding and vows...if she is already cheating, then she sure as hell won't be content in a monogomous marriage to the same man forever. She'll be getting the itch to get out and bone other men. She will cheat on this guy.
michelangelo Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 The bride. Thought so. I feel bad for the new husband. He is starting a life with a deceptive person willing to cheat on him at the time in their relationship where they ought to be so bonded together that nothing intrudes. If she can do it at this point, imagine how easy it will be later when she is less interested in him than now. Sad.
seibert253 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 there was no wedding, i told the groom. He remained a friend, the bride didn't. No great loss. bravo to you!
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