JaneK Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year,recently ive been diagnosed with a chronic illness that is caused by stress. Im worried my boyfriend is the cause of all this stress and is this a valid enough reason to break up with him? Heres the details: Im living with him for about 3 months now, we met at uni and both live away from family and friends in a foreign country together.. we live with our 2 best friends also but he's really all I have over here. Lately he's been having problems with uni work and I just found out he's started smoking behind my back. Im really worried about him and its making me so stressed im ill. He visited me everyday on my first visit to hospital but the second time I didnt see him, he didnt even come to pick me up or offer to, he lied to me told me he had made plans with friends but when I came home he was just watching football. He didnt even get up to hug me, I felt a bit hurt. He then went on to go out later that night and didn't get back untill 5am with a bunch load of rowdy lads. Needless to say I didnt get any sleep. I left the house today for 3 hours and he didn't even notice I was gone and these men friends of his are still in my house eating my food while he's gone out to put the end of his over due assignment together...he hasnt been to see if im ok in the room next door..nothing. If he fails by the way,he's out of uni and he goes home...end of. Im starting to wonder if he's happy about that or even bothered at all. Any insights?
iheartsuki Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I'm not sure if you've tried talking to him about the problems you're having w/ him yet or not....but it sounds like there is just a total lack of respect on his part. I would be very hurt too if the one I love didn't come to visit me in the hospital or even bother to pick me up or find out if I'm alright. Between that, the rowdy guests who eat all of your food and keep you up all night and not even bothering to tell you hello or goodbye....he is treating you as if you don't even exist in the relationship. It sounds like you need to have a serious talk with him. If you don't leave b/c he is making you stressed or you feel that there isn't a concrete enough connection there, I would say the lack of respect he is showing you is enough to justify leaving if you talk to him about this and he doesn't change. More likely than not it IS affecting your health. And if you are taking school seriously and he isn't....it sounds as if you two are headed in two different directions, anyway.
Author JaneK Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 Thank you for your advice, I do feel there is a lack of respect and like its me thats doing all the work...definately not what I need. I'll be having a few words with him, was thinking of letting him know how much I rely on him and how he's let me down and that I dont need to be with a person like him. Also was thinking of giving him untill the end of november to see if theres any change in case he IS just going through a rough patch with himself, thats when our lease is up anyway and could possibly be due for renewal! ...thank god for 6 month contracts!!! Its the only way I'll find out if he could change miraculously, stop lying to me, maybe take me out instead of stress me out, instead of makin me feel like I just happen to be living with the person Im sleeping with.
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