tobydog Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Sorry I know there is a similar thread but wanted to get this all out.... Dear Andrew When we met by chance we were together from that very day. You are younger than me but we had a deep love and connection. You had little when I met you but you moved in and we had a strong love. We tried for a baby straight away, 8 years went by and nothing. I know I like a drink and I know your father was a violent drunk too. But I managed to moderate it esp when going throught the IVF. Everyone around us was having babies and I did not cope with that too well. You had job after job and no friends, never went out. Then we got our boy! A true and blessed miracle. I was 46 and you 33. We loved him so so much. Then I got tired, starting the change and I know I stopped cooking and cleaning and pushed you away intimately. I had an idea for a business, it grew and grew, you gave up your job to run it from home and picked up Matt every day and had such a wonderful bond with him. Maybe it got too much? I worked full time and had Matt to care for so other things went out the window. I know you hated me drinking but for 3 years when having Matt and feeding him myself I never touched a drop. Then this summer, I was afraid I did not love you any more. You got us into a finacial mess and all I wanted to do was play golf, you left the house in a mess and the garden. Then you got a part time job at a club, I thought great that will get you out. Then you came home later and later for 2 weeks until we had our fight. That night you came in at 2am and I lashed out at you. You left the next day and have never been back except to get some stock. You have virtually ignored your boy and dogs and you certainly hate me, saying I have given you 10 years of ****e. I gave you all this, your business, which is going down the pan, a lovely house, lifestlye and our precious son. Is that worth nothing to you. I thought after 8 weeks you would have calmed down somewhat but no. No contact, only to say I have ruined your life. You walked out on our life and we we were so compatible and with such strong life targets.....Now it seems you have another woman and have told lie after lie about all sorts. You strongly deny it but I'm no fool. You took my car to take her away after telling me you were moving into a flat. I know you are living at hers. What breaks my heart is how you can literally abandon your son. You have given us no money in 8 weeks. You had Matt today, after 2 weeks of NC with him and brought him back 2 hours late, I nearly was having a heart attack. You have blocked me from FB, good but here is something else. 3 days before this happened we were out choosing paint etc, had a day at the beach,you still wanted me tho I was always too tired. Since you left I have been very ill; cannot eat, sleep or hardly function apart from looking after and cherishing Matthew, I am like a skeleton and if it were not for Matt I would kill myself. I cry not stop and can't stop thinking about the past and our future plans while you are out having a good time drinking with all your new pals. and OW which you deny. Why not have the balls to telll me outright. I thought you would be back by now but I suppose after 8 weeks that is no longer the case as you have filed for divorce already. I am in HELL and want it to stop. Please help me before I do something else stupid........It's taken this to see how much I do really love you......with all my heart and bones....Help me someone
cozenedindigo Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Oh, td. *Giant hug* This is way too raw for you right now. It's much harder when you blame yourself for many things. But remember, in spite of your share you were willing to carry it forward and work through it. He is the coward who didn't take his responsibility. As for the girl, it just further shows his weak, cowardly and untrustworthy nature. Being with you one week and running about with someone else, the next, none of these feelings are real, he is just lying like you said. I'm glad you have Matt, you must take care of yourself right now and I promise you, things will work out for the best. Positive vibes and good thoughts in your direction. Don't let him control your life like this. I know easier said than done, but trust me I'm in pain too and still saying this. Love.
cozenedindigo Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Oh, td. *Giant hug* This is way too raw for you right now. It's much harder when you blame yourself for many things. But remember, in spite of your share you were willing to carry it forward and work through it. He is the coward who didn't take his responsibility. As for the girl, it just further shows his weak, cowardly and untrustworthy nature. Being with you one week and running about with someone else, the next, none of these feelings are real, he is just lying like you said. I'm glad you have Matt, you must take care of yourself right now and I promise you, things will work out for the best. Positive vibes and good thoughts in your direction. Don't let him control your life like this. I know easier said than done, but trust me I'm in pain too and still saying this. Love.
Author tobydog Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 Thanks, it is so hard. I wnet back to school last week, then today I broke down and had to come home. I am going back tomorrow and I will not cry. Thanks for your support. Hope you feel better soon too x
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