he is always blaming me

[dont want it anymore]

I feel so sad that someone who loved me once hates me so much. Me and my husband of 10 years do not get along, its been so bad for the past 5 years but the last year it has gotten worse.

 

The past year he has called me ugly, fat, the mistake of his life. I became pregnant 3 months ago, and because of the stress he gives me every single day, I suffered a miscarriage. If I say anything he usually screams at me. 6 months ago in his usb stick I found a picture of a woman and himself in a folder. He says that its his friend but for the past year he dresses up to the max when his out. He is always arguing with me, he says that he wants his mum & dad to come and live with us, but once when we visited them back home for 5 days they threw us out of their house and I have said that enough is enough and I don't want anything to do with them. He says thats the reason why he hates me.

 

I don't know what to to do, 2 weeks after my miscarriage he kicked me and our child (5ys old) out of the house at 9.30pm, we went to hotel and then he called the police that wherever I was, I wasn't feeding my baby. He is always blaming me for everything that apparently I decieved him into marrying me. We got back together after his usual 'sorry' and then everything was same again. The other day I asked him 'why?' about something and he was shouting at me with all his might. My self esteem is so low, I can't even look at myself in the mirror because I am so ugly.

 

The story is so long, can someone please help me with some advice?

[Leandro]

This is a bad relationship. He isn't treating you right. It sounds like you do nothing wrong and he continues to yell at you. Throwing you and your child out would have been it for me. Having the low self-esteem is what's keeping you there. I would leave with the child. I can't saying anymore because I've never been married.

[cozenedindigo]

I think you are in an abusive marriage. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I want to reach out and say I understand how much it hurts. I've seen my dad wearing down my mom to believing she is nothing. And ever since they split I've seen her turn right back into the amazing woman she always has been, into feeling it in her bones. It's hard, but being with them is much more painful. Do it for the sake of your child right now, and once you have some time to yourself and distance from the relationship, focus on yourself completely.

 

You need to get away. Take any legal action that will protect you from this man and protect your child as best as you can...make sure he doesn't get away with lying to the authorities. Go to them first and take any necessary safety precautions you need to take. Please consider all that I have said very carefully. You might be tempted to believe the horrible things he is saying to you about yourself but this is just a form of control and manipulation. You don't need anyone in your life that makes you feel this way, especially not your husband. Please get support and get out quickly. Think of your boy.

[LoveTNT]

This is extremely bad. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. You need to do what's best for you and your child. You just have too. Your-low self esteem will take you down, I'm sure you're a beautiful person and you need to let that shine and try your hardest to get yourself to a safe place. I too, have never been married, but I know for sure this is definitely not a good place to be.

 

You will survive through all this, be strong and believe in yourself. I've volunteered at a few DV/abusive transitioning homes for mothers and children. I know that saying leave him isn't that easy for you. Your self-worth, insecurities and self-love is something you really need to focus on.

 

I'll pray for you. I'm glad you're seeking advice and you are venting, keep taking it a step forward ok...

[durkadurka]

Hm, well that's worse than my ex telling me the 2.5 years she spent with me was miserable.

 

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.