Tincup Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 One of the reasons my ex broke up was because she wanted to be "put up on a pedestal". What does that mean? I will tell you that I treated her well. I am divorced with kids living with me 50% of the time. She didn't want to get married, or live together. She also did not want to get involved at all me and my kids. But we always got along so well. So what does being placed on a pedestal mean?
carhill Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Put up on a pedastal = worshiped without qualification or reservation as a god or godess Here's an example Note how the statue is 'superior' to its surroundings...
strength-abounds Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 The best way to describe being "put on a pedestal" is this: whatever you do, you do it for her. She comes FIRST in everything you do, think, plan, or act. When you go grocery shopping, you buy for HER. When you go car shopping, you buy a car for HER. When you see a movie, you see the movie SHE wants to see with no argument from you. When you mow the lawn, you cut it the way SHE wants it, when SHE wants it cut, and the grass is the length SHE wants it. Basically, putting a woman "on a pedestal" is a 24/7 365 a** kissing fest with no benefit to you. To me, there is nothing wrong with putting a woman "on a pedestal" once in a while. But be careful. When a man does this, he loses his identity inside the relationship, loses his masculinity, and eventually becomes less attractive to the woman on the pedestal. Trust me, I have the medals to prove it.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 What carhill and strength said. I put my ex on a pedestal. By that I mean I worshipped the ground he walked on, overlooked anything and everything he did that was wrong and chased him like a puppy. I was a complete doormat. I guess I still put him on a pedestal as I'm still comparing every guy I date to him. It's weird that's what your ex wanted. Sounds kind of conceited and I don't think it's very healthy for one person in a relationship to put another up on a pedestal as it's an invitation for the other person to treat the other like crap. Unless both of the people in the relationship put eachother up on a pedestal. That's just sweet.
strength-abounds Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 What carhill and strength said. I put my ex on a pedestal. By that I mean I worshipped the ground he walked on, overlooked anything and everything he did that was wrong and chased him like a puppy. I was a complete doormat. I guess I still put him on a pedestal as I'm still comparing every guy I date to him. It's weird that's what your ex wanted. Sounds kind of conceited and I don't think it's very healthy for one person in a relationship to put another up on a pedestal as it's an invitation for the other person to treat the other like crap. Unless both of the people in the relationship put eachother up on a pedestal. That's just sweet. Exactly. There is nothing wrong with this idealogy AS LONG AS IT'S MUTUAL. Both members of a relationship need to contribute equally this dynamic. If both members play an equal role, the relationship will survive ANYTHING that tries to destroy it. But the moment the scales become unbalanced, hang on to your a** because you're in for a helluva ride. Again, I have the medals to prove it.
alwaysoverthinking Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Don't put it on a pedestal. Once you do, it's a huge turnoff. Reward good behavior, not all behavior.
Recommended Posts