Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Deleted my account today. It's pointless to keep it active, given my environment, and how I match up in comparison to what the women of this area want. I think a lil over a year is plenty of time spent, being that 80% of the women are the same ones that were there when I joined.
D-Jam Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Deleted my account today. It's pointless to keep it active, given my environment, and how I match up in comparison to what the women of this area want. I think a lil over a year is plenty of time spent, being that 80% of the women are the same ones that were there when I joined. Dating sites are a scam to trick men into handing them money every month. If they were truly honest, then they wouldn't lure women into putting up free profiles that no one can ever email, and they wouldn't hang on to female profiles and make them appear active even after the woman has deleted her account. Even the free sites are a joke. They are filled with those who aren't serious about finding Mr or Ms Right, and simply look for bulk to rack up points on ad servers. Go old-fashioned...build social capital...internet dating is only good for a very small percentile. I'm sure many of those women would be more receptive of you if they met you in person. If they want to hide in their homes or in their packs of friends and only look for profiles...then they have themselves to blame when they're 35-40 and wondering why they're still single.
MyNameIsJonas Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 (edited) post deleted. Edited November 7, 2010 by MyNameIsJonas post deleted.
Author Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 I think online dating changes a persons perception of what they accept as a qualifying date. You really need to meet people in person. I'd like to see what the percentages are of true online dating success.
MyNameIsJonas Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I originally posted a rant, but I'm going back to reword my thoughts a bit better. Go old-fashioned...build social capital...internet dating is only good for a very small percentile. I'm sure many of those women would be more receptive of you if they met you in person. If they want to hide in their homes or in their packs of friends and only look for profiles...then they have themselves to blame when they're 35-40 and wondering why they're still single. I generally agree here, but with a caveat. We live in the unfortunate period of an awful job market, and people are working the extra couple of miles to ensure that they keep their jobs. This doesn't always leave people a lot of time to meet other people and build social capital, as they are basically fighting to ensure that their financial well-being stays intact. Given this, I know a lot of people are turning to online dating to try and stay social in the face of adverse times. People need social interaction, and like meeting other people, but when life requires you to drain a good chunk of your energy to make sure you don't end up part of the 10%, you do what you can with what is available to you. I don't agree with the "scam" comments though; if you want to take that approach then you could argue that all businesses are "scams" to take away people's money. The free sites do require a lot more effort, but the pay sites aren't really that bad. I know from personal experience.
Author Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 But the problem here is that everyone is giving advice based on their location or environment not mine. If I lived in a large metro area, than online dating would be much more inviting compared to a suburb of 35,000. So take that population of 35,000 people. How many are women how many are single women how many are single women in my age group now you see the reality of the equation and now one of you wants to post the reply " then move"
MyNameIsJonas Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 But the problem here is that everyone is giving advice based on their location or environment not mine. If I lived in a large metro area, than online dating would be much more inviting compared to a suburb of 35,000. So take that population of 35,000 people. How many are women how many are single women how many are single women in my age group now you see the reality of the equation and now one of you wants to post the reply " then move" My good friend from college lives in a town of about the same population (Winchester, VA) and made it work. He even told me it was very difficult because the few single women have kids. The difference? He didn't give up.
Author Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 The difference? He didn't give up. The difference between me and him is I could care less and dont need to find someone. its not worth wallowing through the scum to get to the other side
MyNameIsJonas Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 The difference between me and him is I could care less and dont need to find someone. its not worth wallowing through the scum to get to the other side You are right. I am such a fool for questioning you and your rock-solid logic.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 The difference between me and him is I could care less and dont need to find someone. its not worth wallowing through the scum to get to the other side If you don't need someone, why spend almost a year on a dating site? Online dating works, I can assure you. If you haven't had any luck, I would suggest that the problem might lie with yourself.
Author Insanitylater Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 (edited) If you don't need someone, why spend almost a year on a dating site? Theres a difference between needing someone and wanting to share your life with a SO. I was serious for the first couple months on the dating site. After awhile I realized that the women in my area are very superficial in what they expect in a man. Online dating amplifies those superficial needs. Once I realized that the people are not taking things seriously, I began just emailing women randomly, but still putting the same effort into my initiating emails. I always sent mature, respectful, letters, and made sure to include references to their profiles. When I deleted my account this weekend, the number of emails sent out had reached roughly 150. Without 1 response. No I wasn't only emailing attractive 10's. I emailed a broad range of women up and down the scale. No I'm not obese, ugly, or any other excuse people are trying to pin on me, to make sense of the outcome. I'm 5'8 170 sort of athletic build. I did on occasion, have very attractive, independent women from 2-3 hours away contact me for LDR's, which I declined. I dont want a LDR. Why would attractive women out of my local area see something in me that the local women did not? Thats another reason why I kept at it, almost like a sociology experiment. Online dating works, I can assure you. If you haven't had any luck, I would suggest that the problem might lie with yourself.That's an ignorant statement. You don't know my age, looks, environment, income, etc etc. There are countless variables to the equation, which you would have to take into consideration to make such accusations. Geographic location is also a major part of the equation as well. Edited November 8, 2010 by Insanitylater
D-Jam Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I dunno...for me when I tried online dating, I kept seeing only women I didn't want. Not just the fatties, but the drama-mamas, etc. I found that by making time to be sociable and getting out and doing things, I ended up meeting better women. I still believe that any woman who is good looking and has much going for herself does not need an online dating site to meet men. Plus too many other women still view online dating as "for losers" and thus you won't find them on there. You want to meet those cool women, then get out and make social capital. My girlfriend isn't some prima donna or girl that can pick up guys easily, but she's not into online dating and such. So imagine there are more of them out there...how do guys meet these girls if they're not on dating sites and not going to the bars? Answer: Make friends, do things, make time to do things in the time you would be dating, and evetually you might meet one. PLUS...if one is so busy working and such that they have no time to be sociable and do things, then what time do they have for dating? I believe MOST (not all) of the people who claim they're too busy to do things (but somehow have time to date) are just making excuses. The reality is they like their comfort zone in their home and don't want to venture out into the world unless they're getting something out of it.
alexlakeman Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 The difference between me and him is I could care less and dont need to find someone. its not worth wallowing through the scum to get to the other side LOL, gd luck with your dating! Who has a reputable source on the statistics that indicate that online dating doesn't work? I'd be interested in reading more on the subject.
Author Insanitylater Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Answer: Make friends, do things, make time to do things in the time you would be dating, and evetually you might meet one. I do things socially with my friends, the problem is that the hobbies we have dont have women there. We are all very car oriented. People always say how there are girls at race tracks and car shows. Yes you are right there are girls there, not women. I'm 39. If there is a women there my age, its because shes with a guy. Single women dont hang out at tracks or car shows.
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