Untouchable_Fire Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I'm getting a little tired at all these guys complaining that women aren't interested in them, that women only want bad boys or good looking guys or that women hate all men(gotta love those women - haters) and that women are only interested in a man's money. Look, if you have complains what does that make of you? I'm not seeing the majority of men out there crying on their friend's shoulder how they can't get a woman. Either put up with the game or stop being addicted to our vaginas. We have the product you guys want so either step up and match it with something useful, or stop crying. That is an amazingly huge assumptive leap. I never have problems getting dates or relationships. If I have a complaint it's the fact that most women in America aren't worth dating. Lucky me it's only a small % of the worlds population.
USCGAviator Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I had a controlling wife........I'm single now and happy.
Akherousia Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 That is an amazingly huge assumptive leap. I never have problems getting dates or relationships. If I have a complaint it's the fact that most women in America aren't worth dating. Lucky me it's only a small % of the worlds population. Why would women want to date you when you have such little respect for women? And in case you don't know, women can date foreign too and that's what I do; can you compete with a Swedish male model? No? Then keep the hatred you have for women in check. I have no patience for little boys. And let me guess: you're dating an Asian woman? Figures.
sally4sara Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It's really important to know your SO and understand when is a good time to listen and when is a good time to take control yourself. That said... nobody is perfect, if you expect a guy to never make a bad choice... you are being foolish. I'm a really strong personality and I can say with certainty that the majority of relationships I've had devolved into power struggles for one reason or another. Speaking about a dynamic I've seen play out before doesn't mean I want to adopt it into practice in my own relationships. I feel that if someone makes a mistake and you can't ever get past it, it might be time to call it quits rather than make each other miserable. Most mistakes are completely understandable. But there are mistakes and "mistakes". We cannot know for sure, nor can the OP, which it was because we don't know the details. What I expect out of a person or my ability to understand a poor choice/mistake has nothing to do with this thread. I mind my own business. I might wonder at what seems to be going on but unless fists or name calling starts happening, I stay out of other people's business and expect the same in return. The women the OP described might be awful shrews and they might be exasperated at the overall behavior of their mates. The guys in question might be complete doormats or they might be penitent over something awful they did. All I know for certain is that how we each perceive the situation by the OP has much to do with her own spin on it. And had any one of us witnessed it, it would be spun on each of our individual perceptions. And none of us would necessarily be correct. In my own relationship, our only point of contention that I feel is a power struggle pertains to when to put gas in the car and when it can wait till later. As the person who hasn't run out of gas on the side of the road three times already - I don't want to hear "It can wait" anymore when the needle says empty. Anyone waiting at the light next to us with their windows down might think I'm being pissy, but they would feel differently if they knew the back story. However, I can also regulate my own attitude and not be a 24/7 shrew about every other choice he makes.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 In my own relationship, our only point of contention that I feel is a power struggle pertains to when to put gas in the car and when it can wait till later. As the person who hasn't run out of gas on the side of the road three times already - I don't want to hear "It can wait" anymore when the needle says empty. Anyone waiting at the light next to us with their windows down might think I'm being pissy, but they would feel differently if they knew the back story. However, I can also regulate my own attitude and not be a 24/7 shrew about every other choice he makes. This is just my .2, but having been in this type of situation... unless it puts you in direct risk... just back off. Some guys have to make the same mistake multiple times before they learn. It's actually part of what makes us men. We are strongly influenced by positive reinforcement and have the ability to ignore negative outcomes. It's the reason I handle rejection so well. Even lab rats show this when given large doses of testosterone. So... don't remind him, don't drive out to bring him gas, just let him make the mistake and fix it himself. Either he will learn his exact limits, or he will learn to put gas in earlier. Badgering him into filling the tank just makes the problem worse.
TheBigQuestion Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 It wasn't hard to predict which posters would respond trying to defend public rudeness.
sally4sara Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 This is just my .2, but having been in this type of situation... unless it puts you in direct risk... just back off. Some guys have to make the same mistake multiple times before they learn. It's actually part of what makes us men. We are strongly influenced by positive reinforcement and have the ability to ignore negative outcomes. It's the reason I handle rejection so well. Even lab rats show this when given large doses of testosterone. So... don't remind him, don't drive out to bring him gas, just let him make the mistake and fix it himself. Either he will learn his exact limits, or he will learn to put gas in earlier. Badgering him into filling the tank just makes the problem worse. When this is the only contentious subject I've experienced in my relationship, I hardly think your advise (or the impulse to give it to ME) is warranted. I only used it as an example of how some guys could cause mistakes to be a bigger problem if they viewed the input of how to avoid the mistake to be emasculating simply because it came from a woman. If my husband had decided to not fill the tank before parking the car simply because this woman suggested it, we'd have a bigger issue than the car running out of gas. And breaking up with him if he continued to do it isn't so easy once you're married. He knew it was wise and filled the tank. A lesser man (a man not sure of his masculinity) would have balked and intentionally not filled the tank, setting themselves up for continued running out of gas. What part of purposely letting a mistake be repeated to avoid listening to a woman for a moment makes anyone a man? It would seem to me it would only serve to make them stupid. And foolish is a woman who continues to follow that lead. When trust is necessary for someone to be a leader, doing things previously proven to be unwise over and over makes it hard for others to trust you and undermines your ability to be seen as a leader. Don't you fret about us Untouchable, he fills the tank now just like I always did when I ran it low.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 He knew it was wise and filled the tank. A lesser man (a man not sure of his masculinity) would have balked and intentionally not filled the tank, setting themselves up for continued running out of gas. What part of purposely letting a mistake be repeated to avoid listening to a woman for a moment makes anyone a man? It would seem to me it would only serve to make them stupid. And foolish is a woman who continues to follow that lead. When trust is necessary for someone to be a leader, doing things previously proven to be unwise over and over makes it hard for others to trust you and undermines your ability to be seen as a leader. Don't you fret about us Untouchable, he fills the tank now just like I always did when I ran it low. If my GF tells me something that makes good sense I thank her for telling me and I do it. If it doesn't make sense I tell her why, and I don't do it. My point to you is this. Leading and making judgement calls requires experience. Even if he made the mistake few times before doesn't mean he will make the mistake again. You might be normal, but most women are complete nutjobs about this kind of thing.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Why would women want to date you when you have such little respect for women? And in case you don't know, women can date foreign too and that's what I do; can you compete with a Swedish male model? No? Then keep the hatred you have for women in check. I have no patience for little boys. And let me guess: you're dating an Asian woman Figures. Respect is earned. There are a lot of women here who have failed to earn that from me. I'm always happy to find one that does however. I don't bear any hatred towards women in general. Yes I can compete with a Swedish male model. Actually my college roommate was 100% Swede, and an Abercrombie model. I was captain of a sports team... He and I both did extremely well with women. It's good to hear your dating outside as well. As for your racist innuendo... Take it somewhere else.
Woggle Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Why would women want to date you when you have such little respect for women? And in case you don't know, women can date foreign too and that's what I do; can you compete with a Swedish male model? No? Then keep the hatred you have for women in check. I have no patience for little boys. And let me guess: you're dating an Asian woman? Figures. I know you are not talking to me but I did quite well with women when I was single. I just know that too many are not worth any kind of investment emotional, financial or otherwise. The ones who were crappy I treated as such.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I know *exactly* the types you are talking about. I don't know who is more to blame, the women for treating their partner that way, or the men for putting up with it. Last year I worked part time as a waitress at a local bar to make a little bit of extra cash before the holidays. I can't even tell you the number of couples I got who behaved exactly as you describe, where the guy couldn't even look up at me from his menu without getting a dirty look or under-the-table kick from his girlfriend. It was pretty unbelievable. The girl would be downright rude to me for no reason; even my attempts to be as polite and accommodating as possible were met with gratuitous eye-rolls and dirty looks. It was so hard to hold back from just screaming out "Look, lady, I don't want your man! No worries!" Sometimes I wonder how couples like that get it up for each other. How can there be a romantic spark when the relationship dynamic is more similar to mother and child, than to girlfriend & boyfriend / wife & husband?
112233 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Guys, why do you/would you put up with this kind of treatment? I don't. My GF is a great woman and she doesn't try this sort of crap. I don't understand men who take this. Maybe they forgot to get a prenup.
counterman Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I got questioned once for standing too close to one of my girl friends by my ex. Having taken this before, I would say it has to do with low self-esteem. As for the romantic spark between us... it just diminished greatly as time went on, up to the point where we resented each other.
threebyfate Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Child/Parent dynamics inside a romantic relationship really can come across as emotionally unhealthy, especially when in a situation when one person tries to relegate the other to a role that they aren't looking to play. Yikes...Parent/child relationship dynamics appear to happen all the time. Look at traditional relationships. Having said that, who would want a wimpy man or woman for a partner? Once respect is lost or non-existent in a relationship, it's time to say "Sayonara".
Dotbat Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 The reason why guys put up with it is the elephant in the room of American and the west in general, that men are natural leaders over women. It's our basic instincts that men be masculine and women be feminine, but due to the media and 40 years of feminism men are trained from birth to relinquish leadership and kowtow to the women in their lives. It's not uncommon for emasculated men to be looked at as wimps and thus despised even by those very women who browbeat them into submission...and then cheated on. It's not a rare thing to see happen in modern society. Look at the misandry in the media and you'll see what I'm talking about. In fact Adam Carolla just wrote a book about it. http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Years-Well-All-Chicks/dp/0307717372/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289218177&sr=1-1 Yes, my uncle was a natural leader. He lead his sorry @ss and all of his money away from his wife and child and had to be forced by the law to give them money to live off of (my aunt was a housewife with no work experience). My grandfather, another great leader, lead himself to the liquor store and then smacked his kids around. I guess men are just natural leaders, except for the many guys who seem to suck at it. And yea, things were so great before feminism. I hate getting education beyond (maybe) a BA, I loathe voting, and reproductive choices suck. What girl wants financial independance? Or to be able to avoid marital rape? I wish I could work at an office where guys were free to slap my buttocks and call me toots while I did their filing for them. I've met way too many guys like you. You see things in black and white. A relationship doesn't have to (and shouldn't) box the couple into 2 roles. The women in the OP were rude. No doubt about it. However its because they are HUMAN and sometimes people are jerks who treat other people badly. How much do you want to bet that they'll abuse *anyone* who will take it?
Lovelybird Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I know *exactly* the types you are talking about. I don't know who is more to blame, the women for treating their partner that way, or the men for putting up with it. Last year I worked part time as a waitress at a local bar to make a little bit of extra cash before the holidays. I can't even tell you the number of couples I got who behaved exactly as you describe, where the guy couldn't even look up at me from his menu without getting a dirty look or under-the-table kick from his girlfriend. It was pretty unbelievable. The girl would be downright rude to me for no reason; even my attempts to be as polite and accommodating as possible were met with gratuitous eye-rolls and dirty looks. It was so hard to hold back from just screaming out "Look, lady, I don't want your man! No worries!" Sometimes I wonder how couples like that get it up for each other. How can there be a romantic spark when the relationship dynamic is more similar to mother and child, than to girlfriend & boyfriend / wife & husband? they don't have passionate sex life, that is for sure
Woggle Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Yes, my uncle was a natural leader. He lead his sorry @ss and all of his money away from his wife and child and had to be forced by the law to give them money to live off of (my aunt was a housewife with no work experience). My grandfather, another great leader, lead himself to the liquor store and then smacked his kids around. I guess men are just natural leaders, except for the many guys who seem to suck at it. And yea, things were so great before feminism. I hate getting education beyond (maybe) a BA, I loathe voting, and reproductive choices suck. What girl wants financial independance? Or to be able to avoid marital rape? I wish I could work at an office where guys were free to slap my buttocks and call me toots while I did their filing for them. I've met way too many guys like you. You see things in black and white. A relationship doesn't have to (and shouldn't) box the couple into 2 roles. The women in the OP were rude. No doubt about it. However its because they are HUMAN and sometimes people are jerks who treat other people badly. How much do you want to bet that they'll abuse *anyone* who will take it? You also have my own mother who hated men so much she held a knife to her own son's penis and threatened to give him a sex change You also have the mother of my friend's daughter who put her lust for a convicted rapist over her own daughter leaving my friend to be a very good father to her You also have a woman I knew growing up who prostituted her own daughter to men old enough to be her father You also have women in the news like Susan Smith and another one who put her baby in the microwave. There are just as many examples of women who are horrible to their families so don't just trash men.
robaday Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I've had this before, when a woman has shouted at me in public. Instead of shouting back I went silent and brought it up with her in privacy and said I will not tolerate that kind of crap. Over time when I stood up for myself in this way, I was accused of being too sensitive, when in fact I was trying to be assertive, and cool by not blowing up despite wanting to. I don't really know how to win sometimes. If I just take it I lose my pride and respect goes out the window, if I lose my cool, she wins the ridiculous battle, if I go silent and bring it up quietly and respectfully Im too sensitive.
Lovelybird Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I've had this before, when a woman has shouted at me in public. Instead of shouting back I went silent and brought it up with her in privacy and said I will not tolerate that kind of crap. Over time when I stood up for myself in this way, I was accused of being too sensitive, when in fact I was trying to be assertive, and cool by not blowing up despite wanting to. I don't really know how to win sometimes. If I just take it I lose my pride and respect goes out the window, if I lose my cool, she wins the ridiculous battle, if I go silent and bring it up quietly and respectfully Im too sensitive. have you tried the direct approach, right there and that time, look into her eyes, and tell her "I don't take that attitude, please apologize, otherwise I will remove myself from the scene". then she will know you are serious about the respect
Woggle Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I've had this before, when a woman has shouted at me in public. Instead of shouting back I went silent and brought it up with her in privacy and said I will not tolerate that kind of crap. Over time when I stood up for myself in this way, I was accused of being too sensitive, when in fact I was trying to be assertive, and cool by not blowing up despite wanting to. I don't really know how to win sometimes. If I just take it I lose my pride and respect goes out the window, if I lose my cool, she wins the ridiculous battle, if I go silent and bring it up quietly and respectfully Im too sensitive. Just dump her.
Sanman Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Just got out of a relationship like this. She wasn't always like that...only after we became exclusive. I could take about two months of it before I starting fighting with her. Two months after that it was dead. What I couldn't stand is that her expectations of what a man should be had no bearing on her own behavior. Honestly, it was not even being wimpy. I simply tried to act as a gentleman would. Yet, it started becoming evident that she was not a lady. I remember one time we were together and she wanted to pick up some IKEA furniture for her place. I borrowed an SUV from a friend for the day and took them down there to buy stuff. On the way back, her friend thanked me but nothing from her. According to her, it was not necessary as that was just part of being her bf. Apparently, she thanked me by sleeping with me. Yet, I'm not the one who had the two orgasms that night. When I give of myself and act like a gentleman, she treats me like I am a wimp. When I stand up to her and point out that I disagree with her, I am an ***hole. The truth is that there will never be a way to win with her. She enjoys the drama and I do not. Honestly, I knew I had to leave when I am forced to not act like a gentleman just to get the respect I deserve.
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