Controlling women and wimpy men

[theBrokenMuse]

Yes, and since I'm fairly strong, capable, and nurturing, men seeking direction and a mother figure come to me like moths to a flame!

 

And I'm sure that many, many women seek a daddy figure to take care of them, forming relationships that can also look a little creepy and strange from the outside.

Child/Parent dynamics inside a romantic relationship really can come across as emotionally unhealthy, especially when in a situation when one person tries to relegate the other to a role that they aren't looking to play. Yikes...

[Ruby Slippers]

Child/Parent dynamics inside a romantic relationship really can come across as emotionally unhealthy, especially when in a situation when one person tries to relegate the other to a role that they aren't looking to play. Yikes...

Yes, this is why I have figured out that, for me, equality is best. The man is going to be the natural leader in some areas, and I will in others. But I believe that only in a balanced relationship will both people feel that sense of freedom and lightness that is so critical to ongoing happiness.

[counterman]

That brings me back. It's so demeaning and disrespectful, IMO.

 

I'll give more examples from my last relationship. We were waiting in line to purchase food and I was still thinking about what to buy (this was at a new place). She screams "GOD! Why are you so SLOW?".

 

Another one... I tried to hold her hand went walking around a shopping centre, she yells at me saying that her parents might catch us. Wtf?

 

There are plenty more. It's some way to live, yeah? Hoping that the next thing you do isn't treading on her toes.

 

But I had low self-esteem. I thought it was my fault. Yeah right. I'm not having ANY of it. I don't care if it leads to a break-up, an argument, etc. It's just so disrespectful.

[Content]

I hate that..Show a spine and have some self resprct nobody should be laed around and mistreated and take it..

 

I also hate some women who have a daaddy cnplex and want the Man to lead them around make every decison and control things and them..

 

Its suppsoed to be a partnership not a parent and child realtionship or slave owner..

[lenny]

I have a couple good friends that are married to the biggest bitches in the world. I have never been able to figure out why bitchy ladies seem to get the nice guys while the rational ones get the *******s.

[Woggle]

I have a couple good friends that are married to the biggest bitches in the world. I have never been able to figure out why bitchy ladies seem to get the nice guys while the rational ones get the *******s.

 

I think nice guys feel like they are being sexist if they want a woman that treats them well. Men today are told we are supposed to be attracted to strong and independent women or else we are misogynists who want a stepford wife.

[skydiveaddict]

I think nice guys feel like they are being sexist if they want a woman that treats them well. Men today are told we are supposed to be attracted to strong and independent women or else we are misogynists who want a stepford wife.

 

 

Naw, these two dudes were simply typical "nice guy" doormats.

[Ruby Slippers]

Naw, these two dudes were simply typical "nice guy" doormats.

The second one, yeah, he seemed pretty wimpy. And she just seemed nuts.

 

The first one, though, came across as very masculine. I wouldn't be surprised if he has strayed and that's why she was being so funny about him sitting near another girl. But putting your leg up between him and another woman is not going to stop him from straying. It's only going to stop him from sitting near another woman in the movie theater.

 

And I'm wondering what she thought he was going to do in a theater with her right next to him -- secretly reach over and try to touch my leg?

[D-Lish]

Ruby, I remember once being in a line at the grocery store in front of a couple. The girl was berrating him, accusing him of glancing at me. I was standing right in front of them, she knew I could hear- as could everyone else in the vicinity.

 

He just hung his head low while she ranted. The guy just hung his head low- clearly embarrassed and utterly defeated. Everyone around was embarrassed for the poor dude.

 

I remember her face clearly- twisted, sneering, hands on her hips- standing really close to him talking into his ear as he stared at the floor.

[Seamless74]

Yup........ that stuff if everywhere its the whole Jon and Kate thing.. Anybody ever watch that show.. And King of Queens and abunch of other shows lol...

 

 

Its just the polarity of the masculine and feminine thats getting all messed up. You can call the men the nice guy doormats sure... Or you could call the women butch bitches.. its not just the men being laid back its the women being agro u know?

 

And the reason you see the guys put up with it.. Is simply because if you think the women in question were acting crazy then wait and see what they would have done if the guy went ape**** ; then you woulda really saw crazy.. To those cats it just simply isnt worth it.. "dirty pool"

 

The only thing a guy can do nowadays is go for the feminine woman and not get into one of those relationships in the first place because once your in your screwed...

[Woggle]

Actually if the man would have stood up for themselves the women might have stopped.

[Seamless74]

Yeah sure WOGGLE no what would have happened is they would have made a bigger scene ruined the remaining night maybe part of the next day.. No the only way to win that battle in never settle for that behavior in the first place.

[counterman]

From my experience, when I did try to stand up for myself, it escalated and she reverted to silent treatment tactics and other... emotional abuse. However, that was for the one relationship. YMMV.

 

I do feel sorry for the guys that I have witnessed that have to put up with that.

[dispatch3d]

Guys will put up with a lot of **** just to get laid. There i said it.

[Ruby Slippers]

And the reason you see the guys put up with it.. Is simply because if you think the women in question were acting crazy then wait and see what they would have done if the guy went ape**** ; then you woulda really saw crazy.. To those cats it just simply isnt worth it.. "dirty pool"

When a woman starts giving you orders and acting crazy, that's when you tell her to go f*ck herself, get your ****, and leave. Then she can have a crazy party all by herself.

[Ruby Slippers]

Guys will put up with a lot of **** just to get laid. There i said it.

You'd have to be really desperate to put up with that crap! But I guess some people are. I'd much rather be alone. I like my own company better than the company of a jerk.

[Els]

I don't care what gender a person is; someone who always has to have their way no matter how it pans out for others is tedious to be around.

 

Leader by default my ass.

A natural leader doesn't look for unearned reasons (like what gender they happen to be born with) to be in that role. It is so natural to them that they don't often have to justify why they are leading. A natural leader doesn't give others reasons to challenge their position because the choices and decisions they make are in the best interest of all and not just them.

 

If you find people are constantly questioning your judgment, its likely your actions tell others that you are only out for yourself. They can sense it and won't trust you. You can't be a leader of anyone if no one trusts you.

 

Maybe these two women have experienced, with these two men, reasons to regret following their lead in the past and now they question everything the guys do?

And maybe the two guys eat it now because they have some "making it up to her" time to put in?

 

I agree with this in principle, but IMO the women in OP's description were just plain rude, no ifs and buts about it. There are ways to lead without screaming and barking at the one you supposedly love.

[befreckled]

That is something that I've observed a fair bit. My director is in such a relationship. His wife is a dragon lady, she does not hesitate to throw a tantrum in the office to get her way. It irks When I first met her, I absolutely disliked her.

 

After awhile I realised, it's a role switch. He makes so many decisions at work, and in his private life, he relishes being told what to do. I know it sounds really crazy.

 

My ex cheated on me with a couple of different girls and immediately after I found out, people would tell me that it's my fault because I wasn't possessive, I wasn't demanding. I was the girl that believed that platonic friendship is possible and never ruled his life. With singlehood comes a fair bit of clarity, I think there are some guys that like being owned, being told what to do. For them, it's love, its concern. Sounds sorta of sick but, just observations.

[OceanGirl]

What is far more disturbing for me are men who don't merely put up with it, they actually ENJOY being bossed around and told what to do. They love dominering biatches and seek out that personality type. Those men get zero respect from me

 

I can not stand wimpy men. That's gotta be the worst personlity trait a man can possibly have.

[counterman]

Guys will put up with a lot of **** just to get laid. There i said it.

 

That is so true.

[BS76]

The reason why guys put up with it is the elephant in the room of American and the west in general, that men are natural leaders over women. It's our basic instincts that men be masculine and women be feminine, but due to the media and 40 years of feminism men are trained from birth to relinquish leadership and kowtow to the women in their lives. It's not uncommon for emasculated men to be looked at as wimps and thus despised even by those very women who browbeat them into submission...and then cheated on. It's not a rare thing to see happen in modern society.

 

Look at the misandry in the media and you'll see what I'm talking about. In fact Adam Carolla just wrote a book about it.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Years-Well-All-Chicks/dp/0307717372/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289218177&sr=1-1

[sally4sara]

The reason why guys put up with it is the elephant in the room of American and the west in general, that men are natural leaders over women. It's our basic instincts that men be masculine and women be feminine, but due to the media and 40 years of feminism men are trained from birth to relinqush leadership and kowtow to the women in their lives. It's not uncommon for emasculated men to be looked at as wimps and thus despised even by those very women who browbeat them into submission...and then cheated on. It's not a rare thing to see happen in modern society.

 

Look at the misandry in the media and you'll see what I'm talking about. In fact Adam Carolla just wrote a book about it.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Years-Well-All-Chicks/dp/0307717372/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289218177&sr=1-1

 

No one is born a leader. It requires a skill set that was developed over time.

Hatred and fear are not part of that skill set because you can't trust angry or fearful people.

 

A true misogynist or misandrist cannot be trusted to think in the best interests of all.

And men who expect to be given that title simply because they are men have already lost the right to that title. Leadership is given to you by others, not because you were born with particular genitalia. And it isn't a blanket title to always getting the final say.

 

Chet might be amazing at leading the battle charge on your weekend paintball team retreat. But when the kids go missing in the woods, he might be too impatient to organize a search party. He'd rather go charging off into the woods immediately and get lost himself.

While Lois, the one who reserved the cabins, packed the right provisions and first aid kit, might be better suited for the role of leader due to her organizational skills. She could organize the search parties, remember to take the flashlights and designate one person to stay behind before stomping off into the woods.

Would Chet be kowtowed by listening to the better organization skills of Lois?

 

Quibbling over what to do won't be helped by pointing out who has what genitalia between their legs.

Testosterone is an action hormone. Men have more testosterone and due to it, are more prone to take immediate action. Without forethought, action might not achieve its aim.

 

Chet could recognize Lois and her value in this situation, take a step aside to let her do her thing. Or he could holler at the menfolk to follow him and go charging off into the woods with nothing but his paintball gun and his dick in his hand.

 

What would a natural leader do? Would listening to Lois for a moment mean he relinquished his leadership?

 

There seems to be some seriously confused men on this site and I wouldn't trust you to lead me to the corner store in broad daylight.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I went to the movies last night. I met some friends there, and they were running late, so I went into the theater and saved our seats in a long row by myself. This couple walked in, and the guy started leading them into my row. He walked all the way across it and sat one seat away from me.

The woman gives me a dirty look, and in a kind of shrill voice, she immediately says to him, "Um, can we switch seats?" He scoffs a little, then goes "Sure", and switches with her. He knows exactly what's going on, and so do I. Then she puts her foot up on the seat in front of her, as if to create a barrier between me and the guy that neither of us is allowed to cross! It was pretty hilarious.

And at that moment, I felt extremely happy to be me and not her. That she is so threatened and jealous she can't let her man even sit near another woman is pretty absurd.

And why did he bend to her stupid request? By the way, the seat she wanted wasn't better or closer to the center -- just in between him and me.

Then another couple comes in, and when the guy goes to sit down, the woman barks at him as if he's a complete idiot, "DON'T SIT IN FRONT OF THOSE PEOPLE!" And he obeys and waits for her to pick the seats she wants. Man, lady, just go ahead and cut off his balls and put 'em in your purse!

I felt sorry for and embarrassed for these men, and I don't even know them. In both cases, the men seemed pretty laid back and cool, and the women seemed controlling and bitchy.

At the same time, I wondered why the men were so passive and allowed their women to talk to them like that. I would never talk to my guy that way, and I wouldn't let a guy talk to me like that.

Guys, why do you/would you put up with this kind of treatment?

 

In the U.S. for sure we have a type of "Yes Dear" culture where men are pretty much trained from birth to just let the woman have her way in all the petty little things.

 

Also I've noticed Sitcoms and much of TV show Husbands and BF's to be low grade morons when it comes to making decisions.

 

Maybe these two women have experienced, with these two men, reasons to regret following their lead in the past and now they question everything the guys do?

And maybe the two guys eat it now because they have some "making it up to her" time to put in?

 

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It's really important to know your SO and understand when is a good time to listen and when is a good time to take control yourself.

 

That said... nobody is perfect, if you expect a guy to never make a bad choice... you are being foolish.

 

I'm a really strong personality and I can say with certainty that the majority of relationships I've had devolved into power struggles for one reason or another.

[Akherousia]

In the U.S. for sure we have a type of "Yes Dear" culture where men are pretty much trained from birth to just let the woman have her way in all the petty little things.

 

Also I've noticed Sitcoms and much of TV show Husbands and BF's to be low grade morons when it comes to making decisions.

 

 

 

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It's really important to know your SO and understand when is a good time to listen and when is a good time to take control yourself.

 

That said... nobody is perfect, if you expect a guy to never make a bad choice... you are being foolish.

 

I'm a really strong personality and I can say with certainty that the majority of relationships I've had devolved into power struggles for one reason or another.

 

I'm getting a little tired at all these guys complaining that women aren't interested in them, that women only want bad boys or good looking guys or that women hate all men(gotta love those women - haters) and that women are only interested in a man's money.

 

Look, if you have complains what does that make of you? I'm not seeing the majority of men out there crying on their friend's shoulder how they can't get a woman.

 

Either put up with the game or stop being addicted to our vaginas. We have the product you guys want so either step up and match it with something useful, or stop crying.

[dispatch3d]

People have different natural ability levels in leadership and leadership can be learned. It's really the ability to get people to rally behind your idea, or the direction you want to take them in/your vision. The trick is in aligning everyones values so they see that common goal and work together to achieve it. It's also a bit of a trick to get them to think it's their OWN thinking, that they are in control, and that they are calling the shots when they actually aren't really. Noone can stand being told what to do.