Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 When a woman sees a guy she likes, most of the time, they wait for the guy to make the first move. Most women will say that the reason they do that is because if they show interest, or approach the guy, than the guy is more apt to take advantage of her, or think shes an easy lay. This thought process is nothing more than an excuse for women to hide in their comfort zone, and wait for guys to stick their neck out. I understand its guys faults for empowering the situation, but the point I'm making, is that the excuse women use not to initiate, is full of hot air, its bogus. The guy can have the same intentions with a girl whether he approaches her, or she approaches him. If hes just looking to hit it, do you really think he cares who approached who?
Art_Critic Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 This thought process is nothing more than an excuse for women to hide in their comfort zone, and wait for guys to stick their neck out. Get used to it.. it's the way the world works.. Woman have all the pu$$y and pu$$y is power in dating... Chasing women is what we do....
Author Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 Get used to it.. it's the way the world works.. Woman have all the pu$$y and pu$$y is power in dating... Chasing women is what we do.... No, chasing women is what stupid men do.
carhill Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Apparently, the imbalance is related to feelings, *like* being a feeling. Men are presumed to *lust* when approaching women, rather than *like*, and attach no emotion to the motivation. My impression from reading such anecdotes is that the woman, by approaching, ends up behind the 8-ball feeling-wise, since the man has not yet even indicated lust, much less like, and men's feelings are stereotypically hidden from view until far later in the process. His proactive *lust*, absent marked signals from the woman, gives her confidence that there is a potential for *like* from him and perhaps *feelings* from him down the road. A corollary might be how a woman feels 'creeped out' when a man shows *like* for her, showing emotions, prior to *lust*. I've seen that plenty in my life. Looking back, my successful couplings resulted from squelching *like*, even though felt, and focusing on *lust*. This appeared to match up better with the lady's psychology. Essentially, caring less. That's my interpretation. YMMV
brainygirl Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Insanity, if you dislike women and how they go about dating so much, why not date men? That being said, I think your premise is full of crap. I think some women do all the waiting, but that many women do show some interest. Myself, I have approached guys, mostly in online dating. IRL I am not as bold. There's a very attractive man at my work, but that's work and I'd rather not even mess with that sort of potential complication. That and a bunch of us went out for a beer after parent-teacher conferences and all the man talks about is football. I get it, he's a coach, but come on, there must be something else on his mind.
Cee Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I think it's a chicken-egg thing. Interest can go both ways and who know who started what. My ex BF would say he started it, but I insist that I started it. I was the one who saw him across the room and wriggled through the mob and loitered in his way. He made one small joke to me and I grabbed onto it and bantered back. And then later we talked again and that's when the number thing happened. He called me back first the night we met. I missed the call because he called me one hour after we exchanged numbers (before cell phone era) I was at the bar. Haha. And I called him back the next day. I think a lot of us get confused because we are unable to distinguish interest with friendliness. None of us wear signs saying, "Yes, I'm into you," but if the interest is mutual, something often arises. Too bad that interest is rarely mutual. But I don't blame anybody for that. If love were easy, it would be as banal as showering. We don't have the Shower Forums where people complain about not getting a wet, hot shower do we?
SilverLining Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Personally, I think if it's best that the man does the pursuing. Guys generally tend to like the girls better, it seems. That doesn't mean ladies can't give them some help. I think girls need to be a bit more obvious in their signals that guys should come talk to them, should smile more, and for goodness sake, get away from their friends! And it is completely fine to approach a man and ask him a question. If he is interested, he will use that opportunity to get you into a conversation.
Author Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 Insanity, if you dislike women and how they go about dating so much, why not date men? That being said, I think your premise is full of crap. I think some women do all the waiting, but that many women do show some interest. Interest and initiating arent even in the same ballpark. It's not even the same sport. Showing interest in the average woman's mind is like adding another point of light in a starry sky. Women will never understand that their hints/actions are so subtle that guys barely notice them. You perceive the smallest action in dropping a hint as a huge step out of your comfort zone. And I dont dislike women, I'm just very good at pointing out all the contradictions and immature behavior they do.
carhill Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I think a lot of us get confused because we are unable to distinguish interest with friendliness.Yes, I would say I often have confused friendliness with interest. Ironically, this is a result of my interactions with women in my life where what would seem to be obvious interest, like intimate touching, kissing, flirtation and terms of endearment, have turned out to be unhealthy or 'friendly' or situational ego feeds. I will admit I find it very confusing, especially when words and actions are matching up. My solution is to default it to friendliness. Female dry humping me in the living room? 'She's just sucking up' was my comment to those looking on. Just being 'friendly'. Just another married woman being friendly. And so it goes...
Author Insanitylater Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 I think girls need to be a bit more obvious in their signals that guys should come talk to them, should smile more I think the "smile more" advice is the least helpful of all. Smiling is just another tool for women to stay in their comfort zone and hope the guy gets the hint. Just about anytime I interact with a female, in any situation, she has some sort of smile on her face. Explain how I'm supposed to interpret a friendly smile from an interested smile?
Recommended Posts