watshername Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 So, in short, we broke up over 2 months ago. He's really depressed, says we werent working, he was upseeting me all the time and we had drifted apart etc. We lived together and was finally sorting out getting a nice place together and we had just signed the contract for the flat. A week later he breaks up with me. He says he still loves me but isnt capable of being with me. He says he wouldnt be able to give me what i need. I love him with everything I am and was willing to help him through this horrible time he is going through but he just didnt want me there. So for the past 2 months ive been trying to get us back together being very upset and having hope that he will change his mind. Last week I decided enough was enough and I needed to start the healing process. As so many people on here say that no contact is the very best thing to start to get over that person I knew this was my last option in getting better. I told him in a very heartfelt way that I had to have no contact. Im not sleeping at night and this feeling is ruining me. He said he understood and if thats what i wanted then i could do it. Of course its not what i wnated but its what I NEED if he knows there is no hope for us then he needs to let me go right? So for like 4 days I didnt contact him, I deleted him off facebook and just tried so hard not to think about calling him. I did well. Until an hour ago when he messaged me saying "ive got lots of your stuff here what would you like me to do with it?" after two fricking months, this is the time he decides to ask. When i finally try to have no contact and get over him. Why is he doing this to me? Is he trying to tell me he needs my help? Or does he just want me there for him? He isn't a bad person and I dont want people to say oh hes just being a dick coz he wants you to want him. i definately do not think its that. Its just so hard. So i rang him n asked why he messaged me when i asked for no contact and of course i got upset, he just said, its here and it reminds me of you and I just wanted to know what you wanted me to do with it. I said you cant just contact me for silly reasons like that (there is hardly anythign there btw) then he got a bit mad and was like ok do you want me to just chuck it then!!!? I just do not understand and I feel like I'm back at square one again. When will this stop?
Fern Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 When he contacts you, ignore him. As everyone here always says - unless he is contacting you begging forgiveness and asking you to come back then he's using you to make himself feel better. You're not his crutch. He's not your priority right now, he can't be. You need to concentrate on doing what's best for you.
Capital P Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 hes just being a dick coz he wants you to want him I think you answered your own question. Sorry but there is no complicated answer, he is just like everyone else
pinkie Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 OR.... you could have just told him what to do with your stuff.... (shove it, toss it, chuck it, stuff it, put it outside, take it to the lost and found...?) and been done with it. It's been two months yes... is it really going to set you back that much? All the way to square one? Maybe he really just wanted to know what to do with it. Closure?
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