counterman Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 (edited) Whoa, this rang a bell. I feel like I've seen this list somewhere. Have you mentioned this guy before? Yeah, I have. Created a thread about it but that was when it bothered me (he would slam me about my dating perspectives). Thanks to some tips by some LSers, he has never spoken about them to me again. Btw, that's pretty good memory. I agree. Things should just take their natural course. Games and following rules is just trying to influence that course to no avail; it's based on deception. Edited November 9, 2010 by counterman
Author Mellisa Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 "The Rules", "He's Just Not That Into You", etc are indeed rule books. Yes, the authors made a sh*t load of money feeding of the insecurities of women. Back to what I said, reality does not come in paperback. If someone has to preach something in a book that makes them lots of money, the content is misleading at best and a flat out lie at worst. "He's Just Not That Into You" is a good book.It's liberating, once you figure out he's just not that into you which is quite an univeral phenomenon,you stop taking it personally.
waynebrady Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 "He's Just Not That Into You" is a good book.It's liberating, once you figure out he's just not that into you which is quite an univeral phenomenon,you stop taking it personally. That book and others like it basicly state that women should never initiate contact what so ever, never put in any effort(on the basis that if he is intrested he should put in ALL the effort), and let the man do all the chasing and initiate everything... So Offcourse women like that book, it tells them exactly what they want to hear. For us guys, I don't think any man would agree with that book, it would be very frustrating if I had to initiate every phone call, every date and put in all the effort while the woman is passive and never reciprocates my intrest.
hydorclops Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Waynebrady, Your repetitive posts are having a powerful negative effect on you. Virtually everyone else is able to discount what you assert. But you're digging a groove in your brain and you are just getting deeper every time you post. Even if you were correct, you could be busy with other things. Why not learn about carpentry? Take a class in statistics? do some gardening? You may be ruining your life with what you're doing on this forum.
810 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 In what way do women show affection to men then? Isn't it a part of the game to never show affection and be aloof basicly.... not sure about others but i do buy flowers for my ex, call/text to hang out, hold and kiss the guy etc...there ain't nothing wrong to show affection when you genuinely like a person or when you're in relationship.
FearandLoathing Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 The idea of playing games and abiding by "rules" is ridiculous and childish to me. If someone doesn't appreciate you being honest about who you are and the way you want the relationship to progress, they're obviously not someone who you should be in a relationship with. Games only last for so long before the real you starts to show and the other person will see anyway...so what's the point. If I'm pretending that I'm always busy and things work out...well eventually I'll have to stop pretending and he'll see that I'm not so busy and social as he thought and he'll wonder what happened.
Author Mellisa Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 In what way do women show affection to men then? Isn't it a part of the game to never show affection and be aloof basicly.... Do men really appreicate being treated well hehe? i think there are guys who prefer the women who dont give a crap about them so now we try not to be too nice:rolleyes: We show affections when we feel it's safe to show them, usually it's better if the guys can show us first.
hydorclops Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Do men really appreicate being treated well hehe? i think there are guys who prefer the women who dont give a crap about them so now we try not to be too nice:rolleyes: We show affections when we feel it's safe to show them, usually it's better if the guys can show us first.This is true. BUT. It's truth has nothing to do with male and female roles. It is true when the goal is winning a power struggle. It can apply to any human interaction.
waynebrady Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Do men really appreicate being treated well hehe? i think there are guys who prefer the women who dont give a crap about them so now we try not to be too nice:rolleyes: We show affections when we feel it's safe to show them, usually it's better if the guys can show us first. Can you explain why? And saying that men prefer women who don't give a crap about them is about as true as when guys say women prefer "bad boys" who treat them like dirt, neither is true. I think men and women want to be treated equally good.
waynebrady Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 This is true. BUT. It's truth has nothing to do with male and female roles. It is true when the goal is winning a power struggle. It can apply to any human interaction. So women basicly want to have the power over the guy and have the upper hand in relationships?
hydorclops Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 So women basicly want to have the power over the guy and have the upper hand in relationships? People engage in power struggles within their relationships. All individuals want some personal power. Depending on ego strength these struggles can be mild or turn into intense battles. This is a dynamic between any two people, not just men and women. More sophisticated people manage this better and there is less chaos, more harmony. It's not about the power or the upper hand, it's about having some power some of the time
Author Mellisa Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 Can you explain why? And saying that men prefer women who don't give a crap about them is about as true as when guys say women prefer "bad boys" who treat them like dirt, neither is true. I think men and women want to be treated equally good. Well, i had some guy friends said that they find it quite a turn on when a women doesnt give a crap about them...but of course i think that only applys at the start.When you go into a relationship it's completely ok to show affection otherwise why even bother being in one.Who wants to be in a relationship where you cant give and recieve affection?But you cant just show them all the time to all the guys you met right?You do it when they have proven worth it;You do it when you are sure you are feeling it and they are feeling it the same way.When a women hasnt show affection yet, it's usually because she isnt sure yet.Maybe she isnt sure how the guy really feels about her therefore she holds her feelings back and tries to keep them to herself.Or maybe she dont show it because she isnt sure about how she feels about the guy yet.You cant blame her in those situations.
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