When a woman won't go out, she has to be with someone....

[luvnpain]

^Agree with Cee. Going places alone doesn't phase me, but there are certain places I wouldn't go alone if I feel it would make me a target. Clubs for instance, but I don't like clubs in general and don't like going with friends either, lol. I don't go anywhere that will require that I am walking long distances alone at night.

 

But yeah, if something is happening and I wanna go and none of my friends can go or don't have an interest in said thing, I still go. I go to enjoy, not to meet anyone but I do chat people up when I'm there if the atmosphere allows. I am a social person, but am comfortable whether I am with others or alone.

[stillafool]

....what is it with some women, even when they have free time...when they go to a dinner event or a BBQ or whatever, they HAVE to come WITH someone?

 

I was talking to this late 30's single lady, that was new to our group of friends....she was a +1, and will probably will always be a +1 to her friend.

 

She said that she never likes to go ANYWHERE unless she has her friend with her.

 

Is that a problem that she can't handle going to an event by herself, even though she's somewhat familiar with the people from the group? I've known other women to say this, too.

 

 

When I was single I liked going places alone. I would think nothing of taking in an afternoon movie, going shopping, going to weddings or other events and even going by myself to clubs (but I always met friends at clubs) by myself. It didn't and doesn't bother me in the least. I don't like to travel in packs.

[tami-chan]

I go to museums alone and similar places, no problem. But I have never dined alone or gone to the bar or club alone( and rarely go to those places with just women friends)-not because I feel out of place but because people seem to think that if you are alone you are looking to meet a man and I do not like to be approached by strange men.

[Ruby Slippers]

I went out last night and was alone on my way there and while waiting for my friends to arrive to the movie theater.

 

During less than an hour of getting there on public transit and waiting, I was targeted by three different guys, but in weird ways.

 

Two of them GOT OFF the bus/train when I did, made serious eye contact and kept themselves very close to me, then hovered around to see if I was going to bite, I guess. WTF? Are there bus and train cruisers who go around on transit on Saturday night looking for lone women going out? It sure seemed that way!

 

Then this guy by himself at the theater kept hovering around wherever I was, checking me out, but never said anything.

 

And I got a ton of inquisitive looks. I was looking pretty cute and was all by myself until my friends arrived, and I guess this is not a common sight.

 

I was enjoying the adventure, but the notably increased attention coming at me from so many people was kind of intense.

[stillafool]

I'm so glad to hear that more women are independent enough to go out alone. It really is fun ladies. You can do what you want without having to worry about what the "crowd" wants to do.

[tami-chan]

I'm so glad to hear that more women are independent enough to go out alone. It really is fun ladies. You can do what you want without having to worry about what the "crowd" wants to do.

 

It is not about independence or worrying what the "crowd" thinks, for me, it is about what these men think and them acting on the assumption-i.e. woman alone in bar drinking, must need male company, therefore, approach. It is not always true that a woman alone in a bar needs male company, is it? I wouldn't know, since I have never been in a bar by myself. I have, however, been in bars/clubs with my females friends and have always been approached by men-no fail. I am not faulting the men about this. In social situations it is not strange to approach people of the opposite sex. So, this is not about them, as it is about me.

[phineas]

Why would you care what random strangers think about you?

 

Some people do.

I don't.

I really don't have a problem going anywhere alone.

I can either be a wall flower or talk to strangers.

 

I definitely won't stay home if I can't find somebody to go do something with me.

 

I guess with women it's different, but if she knows people who will be there I really don't understand.

[irc333]

Perhaps we should throw out bars and clubs in this situation, but I'm more referring to social functions, someone told you about an event, perhaps invited by the host...but you won't go unless a co-worker or a life long friend goes with the lady. (typically a friend of the same sex)

 

Even if said woman is somewhat familiar with these people (i.e.- even met them once before), the person would have to be a BFF to make her feel secure in going.

 

Or perhaps an event where a group of people would get together to eat at a restaurant.

 

I've gone alone to many places, typically because I have no friends to some with me (most of them are married, and are focused on their spouses and never leave the house on a Sat night). My last friend is a newlywed, he stopped coming to functions with me for obvious reasons. lol.

 

I think a person who can't stomach showing up to events alone, who can't even get USED to it. Sometimes I can understand if they're brand spanking new to a group....but if it's all the time...well, there's some issues right there, and possibly even yellow flag dating material.

 

I had a female friend ask that I come pick heru p to go to an event....I was kind of sarcastic "What...you want me to hold your widdle hand?! LOL!"

 

I was just teasin, and she goes, "Well, I don't like going ANYWHERE unless I'm with someone I know."

 

 

I don't mean to sound insenstive, but if you're in your 30's, and you act like a little kid just starting kindergarten on their first day....well, this needs to be overcome.

 

^Agree with Cee. Going places alone doesn't phase me, but there are certain places I wouldn't go alone if I feel it would make me a target. Clubs for instance, but I don't like clubs in general and don't like going with friends either, lol. I don't go anywhere that will require that I am walking long distances alone at night.

 

But yeah, if something is happening and I wanna go and none of my friends can go or don't have an interest in said thing, I still go. I go to enjoy, not to meet anyone but I do chat people up when I'm there if the atmosphere allows. I am a social person, but am comfortable whether I am with others or alone.

[brainygirl]

Perhaps we should throw out bars and clubs in this situation, but I'm more referring to social functions, someone told you about an event, perhaps invited by the host...but you won't go unless a co-worker or a life long friend goes with the lady. (typically a friend of the same sex)

 

Even if said woman is somewhat familiar with these people (i.e.- even met them once before), the person would have to be a BFF to make her feel secure in going.

 

Or perhaps an event where a group of people would get together to eat at a restaurant.

 

I've gone alone to many places, typically because I have no friends to some with me (most of them are married, and are focused on their spouses and never leave the house on a Sat night). My last friend is a newlywed, he stopped coming to functions with me for obvious reasons. lol.

 

I think a person who can't stomach showing up to events alone, who can't even get USED to it. Sometimes I can understand if they're brand spanking new to a group....but if it's all the time...well, there's some issues right there, and possibly even yellow flag dating material.

 

I had a female friend ask that I come pick heru p to go to an event....I was kind of sarcastic "What...you want me to hold your widdle hand?! LOL!"

 

I was just teasin, and she goes, "Well, I don't like going ANYWHERE unless I'm with someone I know."

 

 

I don't mean to sound insenstive, but if you're in your 30's, and you act like a little kid just starting kindergarten on their first day....well, this needs to be overcome.

 

Everyone has things they deal with, if someone is shy or has social anxiety, it isn't something they can just "get over".

[tami-chan]

Perhaps we should throw out bars and clubs in this situation, but I'm more referring to social functions, someone told you about an event, perhaps invited by the host...but you won't go unless a co-worker or a life long friend goes with the lady. (typically a friend of the same sex)

 

If I am invited to an event, then I go alone unless specifically ask to bring a guest. I think it is rude to bring someone along if the host did not indicate it.

[Cee]

A good portion of men don't go out alone to things either. I can't remember ever running into a guy completely alone at something. I'm sure they exist, but I don't encounter them. There was that one guy I met at an underground club. But he was tripping his balls off. He wasn't great company, but we had a nice chat.

[stillafool]

It is not about independence or worrying what the "crowd" thinks, for me, it is about what these men think and them acting on the assumption-i.e. woman alone in bar drinking, must need male company, therefore, approach. It is not always true that a woman alone in a bar needs male company, is it? I wouldn't know, since I have never been in a bar by myself. I have, however, been in bars/clubs with my females friends and have always been approached by men-no fail. I am not faulting the men about this. In social situations it is not strange to approach people of the opposite sex. So, this is not about them, as it is about me.

 

I've gone to a club or bar by myself but only when friends were going to meet me there. You are right sometimes a woman alone can get too much attention or the wrong kind. I am talking about women going alone to the movies, weddings, traveling, etc.

[stillafool]

If I am invited to an event, then I go alone unless specifically ask to bring a guest. I think it is rude to bring someone along if the host did not indicate it.

 

I agree with this.