hearttobreak Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 We have or second date where we are going to meet for dinner. She did not feel comfortable in my picking her up at her place. Said no problem. Our second date is two weeks later than our first meet. However, since when I offered to pickup her up and she said she would feel more comfortable in meeting somewhere, I thought inviting her over to my place for a home cooked meal and a movie as a third date may not fly. Assuming the second date goes well, how should I play this?
bac Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 We have or second date where we are going to meet for dinner. She did not feel comfortable in my picking her up at her place. Said no problem. Our second date is two weeks later than our first meet. However, since when I offered to pickup her up and she said she would feel more comfortable in meeting somewhere, I thought inviting her over to my place for a home cooked meal and a movie as a third date may not fly. Assuming the second date goes well, how should I play this? There is no point to plan so far ahead. You might want to go with flow and be flexible. You should not play by your own rigid plan. You might want to try to figure out what she wants as a third date. The only person who knows what she wants is she herself. So, just ask her about it in some intelligent way.
Author hearttobreak Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 Asking a woman to pick something to do is not a good thing to do. Women like men to plan things out and set the mood.
halemeno Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I think that's a very presumptuous, not to mention antiquated, way to look and approach a heterosexual relationship.
SunsetRed Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Did you meet her online or in real life? She sounds like she's being very cautious but maybe she's had some bad experiences to make her cautious. If you like her and she seems to truly want to get to know you, cut her some slack and be patient with her. I'd hold off on inviting her to your place on the 3rd date, but if 4-6 weeks go by and she still won't come to your place or let you come to hers, I'd tell her you want to be "just friends." I would date an online guy for a long time before I let him know where I lived. With real life guys it depends on the how the sparks fly and the vibe I get.
Author hearttobreak Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 We met online. Any ideas on what a good interesting third date would be then?
halemeno Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 It seems like she's uncomfortable or cautious about something, so I would strongly recommend asking what she'd like to do. She's the only one who knows the situations and environments that make her feel confident and allow her to have fun. However, I would also recommend against banking on a third date before you've had your second one. Who knows how it will go?
Author hearttobreak Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 She was the one who pushed for the first date even before I could ask her. It seemed we hit it off nicely. Called a few days later and wanted to setup a second date. She was busy this Saturday, but immediately offered to do something with me on Sunday. Sunday did not work for me, so I suggested next Friday @ 7 PM. She agreed. I offered to pick her up, she said she felt better meeting me some where. I then asked her where would she like to meet? She's going to think about it and get back to me. I was going to call on Monday to reconfirm our plans and suggest a local Italian restaurant if she's not thought of anything yet. Should it go to a third date, maybe a trip over to Philly, its a half-hour ride, would be nice on a Saturday or Sunday.
halemeno Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Maybe her hesitation stems from your behavior? An hour car ride for a third date seems pretty intense, and I wonder if this is indicative of the way you've been approaching this with her. Do you think she feels uncomfortable because you're taking it too heavily for her? Will you really not consider just asking her what she wants to do? Maybe she would be more excited if she were asked her opinion?
Author hearttobreak Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 Already left the second date meet place up to her. Have not heard from her yet on where she wants to meet yet. I do not believe I've been putting it hard on her at all. Just trying to find interesting things for us to do. If she did not want to meet me again, should would not had agreed to meet me Friday. I cannot ask her again for the third date what she wants to do, if there is one.
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