cosmopolite27 Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Hello everyone.. I have to give some brief background before I present the main concern: I've been single for almost 7 years. I've had a few 2-3 month relationships in the meantime that I could not call serious, but for the most part nothing where I've been committed to someone. Lately I've been seeing someone who seems to be on the "serious" path. I felt the same way on maybe the first couple of dates... but then this feeling of either anxiety or hesitation seems to always come over me. It is like I always seem to find some sort of uneasy feeling about getting seriously involved with someone and I start to put the brakes on. I'm not really sure what the cause of this is. In this case I don't have a lot of excuses... she fits the bill: she is smart, educated, seems really loyal, communicates well and is cute. We have a lot of things in common... I don't know if it is the fact that she is moving at too fast a pace for me, or if I'm being hesitant because I want to keep seeing other people... My gut feeling wants to tell her that we should just move a tad bit slower and keep seeing each other without any serious commitments this early. Then there is a part of me that is starting to wonder... maybe I'm single and have been single for this long because I like my freedom to do what I want when I want ?? Maybe being in a serious relationship and marriage and all of this stuff is just not me??... or maybe I really just still need to meet the right person? (I'm 32 and never really entertained that this would be the case.) severely confused C
TheMENemy Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Let me suggest you leave your non-committal comfort zone and let this chick push this relationship full throttle. Follow her lead. See how serious it gets. She sounds like a great chick, her bio clock is probably ticking if she's late 20's/early 30's and you can't blame a chick for not wanting to waste too much time. You may not get too many if any more future opportunities like this--it's just too unpredictable. GO FOR IT.
Jynxx Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 You basically have 2 options: getting serious and not getting serious. One of the options you don't feel good about. So you know the answer to your own question, and are posting just so people would agree with you. If you've communicated your feelings towards her and she doesn't give you the freedom you need, then this relationship will not end well. You might ignore your feelings for a couple of months or even years, but eventually you will see this relationship will not work out if she's not willing to compromise. If you've not communicated about this, then that should be the first thing on your todolist.
elastica Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Honestly, you sound like someone who is not ready for marriage, children etc. Maybe this is not the case, but frankly, the fact that you are already thinking about what you want, and how you feel, and your freedom and you doing what you want suggests that you are not ready to be "you" (I mean the two of you, together, as one). But maybe I am wrong, and it just seems this way, because in your post this is what concerns you. Anyway, since she is in this relationship too, maybe you should just talk to her about this, like you said, and tell her you guys need to slow down. Do you have feelings for her? Are you very much attracted to her? Because if you are, lot of people would say you are lucky and shouldn't let her go.
Recommended Posts