The End.

[tigressA]

I feel better having posted here. I'm still annoyed with myself but it's dissipating. I feel disappointed because I acted really shallowly and with rampant insecurity during our entire "relationship", and now. So quick to defend him and come up with excuses for his behavior toward me, and to slur the woman when it's him I should be blaming since he was committed (he said he was but clearly his word meant nothing) and chose to cheat...right now the bright side(s) to all this is hiding somewhat, behind a fog of hurt.

 

SG, are you on moderated status? Your posts didn't show up immediately.

[northern_sky]

I feel better having posted here. I'm still annoyed with myself but it's dissipating. I feel disappointed because I acted really shallowly and with rampant insecurity during our entire "relationship", and now. So quick to defend him and come up with excuses for his behavior toward me, and to slur the woman when it's him I should be blaming since he was committed (he said he was but clearly his word meant nothing) and chose to cheat...right now the bright side(s) to all this is hiding somewhat, behind a fog of hurt.

 

SG, are you on moderated status? Your posts didn't show up immediately.

 

Tigress, I think you were constantly insecure, anxious and dramatic with him because in your gut you sensed something was amiss. You would fly off the handle at small triggers or the wrong triggers, because you knew something was up but couldn't pinpoint it.

 

I was like this with my ex ex (the guy I dated for three years). It's maddening because you start to question your own sanity and stability.

[tigressA]

Tigress, I think you were constantly insecure, anxious and dramatic with him because in your gut you sensed something was amiss. You would fly off the handle at small triggers or the wrong triggers, because you knew something was up but couldn't pinpoint it.

 

I was like this with my ex ex (the guy I dated for three years). It's maddening because you start to question your own sanity and stability.

 

You hit the nail on the head, but I think I secretly knew what was really going on and didn't want to accept it at all. I pushed it down so far I was able to pretend that that wasn't the issue, that it didn't exist. I didn't even post about any of it here, as I said previously, because I had a feeling that you all would tell me what was really going on and I wouldn't want to accept it and just dump him already. The closest I got to posting about it was when I brought up the search on his computer, because I knew that woman is...well...big. I remember thinking about finally posting my real concern but I was still too afraid.

 

A big part of it is that I had had unprotected sex with him...I wouldn't have been able to bear someone telling me that he was banging someone else. I did have myself tested as I usually do at the end of a relationship and I'm negative.

Edited December 2, 2010 by tigressA

[Star Gazer]

I did have myself tested as I usually do at the end of a relationship and I'm negative.

 

Please don't assume that means you are. I don't mean to scare you, but it can take up to 6 months for everything to show up. Get tested again in 6 months. Please be safe in the meantime.

[Crazy Magnet]

I think we've all been there. We deny our gut because we want to give someone the benefit of the doubt. We want to believe they are a good person b/c I think in general we want to think other people out there are honest and trustworthy.

 

I agree with LT. There is no reason to bash this other girl although as women that is our tendency. Bash the heck out of him though. He deserves every bit of mud slinging that comes his way. I hope his penis turns black and falls off!!!!!!!

[tigressA]

Yeah, that's true. I'm...tired of this now. I don't want to sling mud at anyone. Didn't make me feel better to do it earlier. I'm tired of rehashing prior insecurities and dramas; things have been going really well. I still feel anger at myself for what I didn't say/do, but it should go away with a good night's sleep. I'm done now, it's over. The end, for real, this time.

[Jannah]

HE HAD BEEN CHEATING ON ME! THE DIRTY ROTTEN *******!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ugh.

 

I just found incontrovertible proof through a mutual friend's Facebook. HIS FRIENDS HAD KNOWN ABOUT IT.

 

I feel sick.

 

SO glad they're all out of my life.

 

See, you made the best decision for yourself after all, by ending it when you did.

 

Good for you, he's an a**hole.

[OceanGirl]

Tigressa, hope that you are feeling better.

 

This is actually a blessing in disguise. It will eliminate any longing emotions you might have still had for him..

 

He is really a nasty piece of work