sweetblubrry Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Lately in my 5 month relationship with my boyfriend, I’ve felt that he isn’t communicating with me enough OUTSIDE of the times we see each other. In person, it is fantastic which is what I think matters... I feel that we can talk about everything and 100% comfortable. However, he doesn’t call me or text me in between seeing each other. That is always me. Usually it didn’t matter because I would see him at work everyday, but now I don’t due to changes. So I’m really missing the texts/calls and hearing from him. L I also feel like I’m the one that makes all the plans lately (last 2 weeks). I feel kind of like my needs weren't being met. So I brought it up to him last night and let him know how I was feeling. First of all he is such a sweet, caring guy. He has never hurt me nor have we had any fights. I love spending time with him as he is very affectionate when we do spend time together. So what he told me was he is very outgoing in the public eye, and a lot of this is to cover up the fact that he really likes his personal alone time. If people see that he is outgoing, they will think he’s out and about and not at home ignoring their phone call. He is neither a phone person nor a texter. First of all…. He ALWAYS calls me back if not right away but within an hour if he doesn’t answer. Not once has he ever ignored me. I’ve been under a lot of stress this week and said that if I asked for support (which I didn’t hence why I was upset when he didn’t offer it freely) that he would be there. He always has. But as a girl, its nice to get that phone call randomly ya know? He said he’s an anti social person and that he’s used to being like that and has been that way his whole life. And that it wasn’t going to change with the communication thru phone/texting. I brought this up a few months ago… it changed for awhile then it was back to the same thing. However I was just being picky, and didn't know his reasons for why he doesn't communicate. So I don’t know what to do. I love him and things are great except this. I just wish he would make me feel special by giving me a call once in awhile. But I know that he is always just a call or a text away because he's told me. My view is that it is hard to move forward in a relationship if you don’t communicate outside as well and both ways equally. Has anyone had this issue with a boyfriend? I love him and don’t want this to end out relationship cause he really is a sweet guy and he offers a lot of support and is always there for me. I feel like I have to accept the fact that he simply does not communicate but I know he is there if I need him and can ask. I also feel like this might be an issue solely with me. Because I have a lot of unresolved issues with myself and insecurities regarding contact because of past relationships. I’ve done this in the dating scene before when you are just starting out…..freaking out about communication. But it is ridiculous that I would judge how a 5 month boyfriend cares for me based on the amount of contact he gives me outside of when we see each other. Does anyone have any advice? I can’t help the needs that I have. Now that I know he is like this, it does help me understand why he is not calling/texting. But I am still not exactly sure what to think/do. Everything has been fine except for these past 2 weeks (which again, could possibly been b/c I am super stressed about other things), have been off. This is the first rough patch we’ve gone through. Please do not reply if you aren’t going to take this serious. I’m sick of the people on this board who post rude comments and take their issues out on other people. People come to these boards for a reason, to get help, not criticism!
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 If it's a serious dealbreaker for you, should him your post, otherwise I think that I would be pretty happy.
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