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When do these feelings completely disappear?

Cuchara2

By Cuchara2
in Coping

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Cuchara2 Established Member

Cuchara2

Posted
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Well I've been on NC for the past 3 months now, I've got with several other girls but I still feel the occasional sadness or whatnot about my ex.. I just want to know when will they completely go away because by now I'm just ready to leave that part of my life behind and find someone that will appreciate me. Can I have any advice from anyone regarding making the feelings go completely away?

 

Thanks :)

Adi Member

Adi

Posted
Posted

It will only go away when you meet someone better, it took me 5 years too get over my first love, i was dating someone else but never forgot her, untill i met my ex, now i have too meet someone better then her.

Eternity001 Established Member

Eternity001

Posted
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It all depends, I met someone 4 months after I split with my ex. Thought she was amazing and everything I was looking for.

 

The cracks and the incompatibility ultimately showed and we split 5 months later, now I'm back where I started, 10 months later.

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
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It all depends, I met someone 4 months after I split with my ex. Thought she was amazing and everything I was looking for.

 

The cracks and the incompatibility ultimately showed and we split 5 months later, now I'm back where I started, 10 months later.

 

Yea, it's hard to say. These feelings may never truly disappear completely

Eeyore79 Established Member

Eeyore79

Posted
Posted

I agree with Adi - in my experience I only truly get over someone I love when I fall in love with someone else. The first time I was in love, it took me ten years and nine boyfriends to fall in love again and get over the first guy. I'm hoping it won't take that long again - two years after I last fell in love I'm dating someone who's a pretty strong candidate for making me forget about everyone else :)

stopthemadness Established Member

stopthemadness

Posted
Posted
Well I've been on NC for the past 3 months now, I've got with several other girls but I still feel the occasional sadness or whatnot about my ex.. I just want to know when will they completely go away because by now I'm just ready to leave that part of my life behind and find someone that will appreciate me. Can I have any advice from anyone regarding making the feelings go completely away?

 

Thanks :)

Ive been broke up on its 5th month(its like the breakup has a life huh?) And am just glad am feeling better. Am still very sad, but its getting better everyday. I even went on a date! It was fun. I was soo glad I did it cause I wasnt gona. Didnt think I was ready. I still miss "him" but Hes moved on so I should try too.Dating is a start. So well the saddness every completely go away? I sure hope soo, am counting on it!!:rolleyes:
Ella.c New Member

Ella.c

Posted
Posted

Breaking up is hard. You miss certain things about that person that's hard to let go. I split up with my first ever boyfriend of two and a half years and literally went straight from him onto a rebound. I was kidding myself and everyone that I was over him. I had no contact and had someone else but still missed him.

 

I guess I'm trying to say, there isn't a time limit to how long it will take, you can't replace someone either and there isn't anything specific you can do to get over them quicker. I guess making plans that you wouldn't normally do if you were together, for example I'm going travelling which isn't something I could do if me and my recent boyfriend would still be together. Which is good because then it's focussing on a more positive thing thats come out of the relationship? If you get me? Just take every day as it comes and make lots of plans and eventually you will find someone a million times better! But don't look for them, else you never will! HAHA

 

Hope this helped :S It's hard to answer really because everyone is differen't and everyones relationship is too!

 

:)

pandagirl Established Member

pandagirl

Posted
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Ugh, I wish I knew!

 

From past experiences, it usually take me six months to feel ready enough to "move on." I'm just the sort of person who really has to process all my feelings and figure everything out in my heart and head before I can do that.

 

There was one guy who REALLY did a number on my years ago. It was a horrible mess and really destructive. Took me a couples years to move past all the bad feelings.

 

Current ex, it's been about 10 weeks since our break up. My feelings for him are still strong, but I assume time will just take its course. But I do get impatient!

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

OP, how long and what type of relationship are you 'getting over'. Marriage, engagement, LTR, STR, what?

 

Instead of 'getting' with other women, try getting by yourself and working on yourself. Focusing on others can distract from personal work and acceptance, which is the final stage of grief.

 

For myself, acceptance that the good parts of my M will always be with me, combined with understanding of the incompatibilities, caused me to wake up one morning and find that it didn't really matter any more. Neutral emotional state.

 

Good luck :)

pandagirl Established Member

pandagirl

Posted
Posted

For myself, acceptance that the good parts of my M will always be with me, combined with understanding of the incompatibilities, caused me to wake up one morning and find that it didn't really matter any more. Neutral emotional state.

 

Good luck :)

 

I have brief moments of this feeling. Hopefully they'll become more frequent and sustainable. :)

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Cuchara2 Established Member

Cuchara2

Posted
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Posted

Thanks for all the replies! It's great to see many points of views as I've never been through this before :)

 

OP, how long and what type of relationship are you 'getting over'. Marriage, engagement, LTR, STR, what?

 

Instead of 'getting' with other women, try getting by yourself and working on yourself. Focusing on others can distract from personal work and acceptance, which is the final stage of grief.

 

For myself, acceptance that the good parts of my M will always be with me, combined with understanding of the incompatibilities, caused me to wake up one morning and find that it didn't really matter any more. Neutral emotional state.

 

Good luck :)

 

It was a 2 year relationship, first love, the first girl for me for almost everything. I've worked on myself and I still am working on myself. I'm working out, doing a lot more sports, focusing more on my job and school work and generally improving myself in as many ways possible.

 

I just want to get her out of my life and stop caring entirely. I've met someone who's really great and she's replaced my ex as that last person you think about before you go to sleep. I see her every day and every time I see her, I feel something for a good 20 - 30 minutes afterward, however this feeling isn't powerful any more - it's hardly there. But it's still there, and recently I've heard that she might be reconsidering breaking up with me which kind of had an effect on me.

 

On the other side, I removed my ex from facebook, msn, skype etc. and I only recently saw a picture of her on facebook (I haven't really looked at her since going NC) and she looks in a much worse state than before. She looks tired and kinda fatter, and I can see that there's something missing from her - there's no longer this happiness she used to have in her eyes. It was great for me because it showed me she isn't perfect, and she no longer is the person I loved. Sucks for her :)

 

Thanks again everyone for the replies!

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