someday Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I went to a work event last night. My H came with me for moral support (I was very nervous), right away he found friend and talked with him while I did my thing. When we sat for dinner he made small talk with the president and other associates, he was very comfortable in the environment. We had a great time. This morning on the drive into work I was thinking that OM would never be able to fit into my life the way my H fits. I tried to imagine OM sitting at the table, watching me ‘mingle’ thru to crowd, waiting for me to come back to the table to sit with him, being comfortable in the environment. I simply couldn’t do it. Just thinking….
TheMENemy Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You make it sound as though you are a spectator watching your own life pass by.
nikayla Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Honestly, I think many men could fit into your lifestyle and mingle with your colleagues the way your husband did. We are given several opportunities in finding the perfect match, but without experiencing all but one--we habitually dismiss all things foreign. This situation can be likened to men and women who remain in abusive relationships, because they strongly believe no one else will (fill in the blank). I am happy your and your DH had a wonderful time at the gathering!
FryFish Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Does your H know about your OM? Im sure he wouldnt mingle quite as well if he did...
Author someday Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 I'm just reflecting on my life, my situation. Here were I can...I cannot IRL. There is no one I trust enough to talk this thru. H is my first and only LT R- met him when I was 21 and been with him ever since. OM is a man that I have strong feelings for, have always had these feelings for him. I think I always will. My H knows about OM, suspects my feelings but has never said anything. I actively work to not be in the OM's presences. I avoid him, now. I think that's the only way it can be for us- for me. I love my H. I love my children. I love my family. Being here, on LS, and talking with some here...the reality is that OM is *fantasy* and nothing more. My H is *reality* and so much more. ….and knowing this doesn’t make my heart feel any differently for OM…that is why I need to keep him out of my life. Completely and utterly.
ladydesigner Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Yup completely understand you. I am so relieved that my XOM ended with me and why I say that is because of what you are saying now. My XOM just couldn't jive with me in a long-term relationship. My H is so much more my type. I would have grown tired of WHO my XOM was after awhile. Not only did he not compare to my H in bed, but also just other social aspects. Oftentimes I wonder why I was ever attracted to him in the first place. We bonded in an emotional way and were both artists as well as dark humored, but that was about it. My XOM was NEVER my type. I was in a very bad place post H's A and my XOM filled that spot for a moment.
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