smk Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Over the last 4.5 months I have been through almost every conceivable emotion and recently I thought and felt that I was almost through it all and then all of a sudden this past week something happened. I have become seriously overly emotional - almost anything and everything sets off waterworks... And I mean almost anything, my eyes get moist and I have to really control myself to keep myself in check. I could be watching something on tv and it could be a scene with the slightest of emotions and I can feel the tears welling up... I am a bloody 27 yr old guy and here I am more emotional than a teen girl... It's really starting to piss me off... WTF is wrong with me??
shayan Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 hehehe, stop being angry because you're sad. it's natural some relationships take years to fully grieve and let go. just become more pro-active in the process, re-invest your old love in yourself. Do some positive things you need to find ways to stop focusing on it. That's the only way you'll move on it has nothing to do with thinking about it, thinking about it just ampllifies it. Now it is good to think about the mistakes you made and correct them for future reference but that's all. Good luck!
Ajax Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I am a bloody 27 yr old guy and here I am more emotional than a teen girl... It's really starting to piss me off... WTF is wrong with me?? You're not the only one, man. I'm also a 27 and have cried more in the last two months than I have since I was probably three years old. I don't think that's an exaggeration either. then there are mornings when I wake up thinking of her and throw up a bit of my B-Fast. it happens. just become more pro-active in the process, re-invest your old love in yourself. Do some positive things you need to find ways to stop focusing on it. This is good advice. We do have to love ourselves first. And just as you need to take time to do the little things in a relationship with someone else, we need to remember to do the little things for ourselves too. Buy yourself a nice dinner. Take yourself to a movie. Buy something that you've always wanted. For myself I bought a new coffee maker. I'd been having trouble getting myself out of bed, so I got one with an automatic timer so I can wake up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. It's actually helped my mornings.
Author smk Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Thanks guys for the advice. The thing is I have done things in the past 4 months - saw a therapist, stopped smoking, been working out at the gym regularly, ran my first half marathon, signed up for my first full marathon, been working hard, and have been focusing more and more on my self especially over the last 8 weeks. Granted I have become a little insensitive to other other peoples needs in that time, and just been keeping to myself but to feel like this all over again is scary. Yes after the breakup like you Ajax I probably cried more than I had since I was a baby and then one morning I woke up and sorta just stopped feeling things - I sorta found this place within myself where I didn't have to feel anything and I could just live my life. It's like all the emotions just stopped and then bang all of a sudden I start feeling this way... I thought the rollercoaster was finally over, but I guess not...
LoveTNT Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 it's natural some relationships take years to fully grieve and let go. QUOTE] Geesh, that's great, thanks Shayan. Ha.
havehope Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I think its natural - my relationship ended 1.5 years ago and it sucked in the beginning and I reached a point where I didn't cry, I made friends, I started living again. Now I'm SUPER emotional, crying and everything for no reason it seems. But I find comfort knowing that I got through the previous emotional spells before, I can do it again (so can you), and with each set back, it would be a little less intense (altho still sucks) than the others.
Tractor Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I know none of this is new to any of you. Some songs I hear I just have to change stations, or turn radio off. I live in a fairly small town on the outskirts of a small city. So there arent too many places that I go that dont remind me of her. One day last month I was driving down freeway, and seemingly for no reason I just started crying so bad I had to pull over. A couple of minutes later a cop pulls up behind me, comes to tell me that I couldnt be parked there. I was pretty upset,he ask what was going on. I told him, he had been there before and was sympathetic. He just went back to his car and sat there for a few minutes till I got it together. Its odd sometime what will open the spigot. Some days it feels like it will never end. Others I am angry, or depressed, some days I never want to see her again. I love her more than anything in the world and would have her back if I could, but the ball is in her court now. Every day I wish I had a time machine and could go back a year. I would be willing to take that year off the end of my life just to have the time remaing with her.
Eternity001 Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I've hit this wall ten months later, I was fine for 8 of those months. Now, all of a sudden in the last month, I'm not crying all the time that hasn't happened yet but it's hard to get up in the mornings, I think constantly about my ex and everywhere I go I see something that reminds me of her. I can't figure out why it's happening to me either, which makes it 10 times worse.
marcs Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I know none of this is new to any of you. Some songs I hear I just have to change stations, or turn radio off. I live in a fairly small town on the outskirts of a small city. So there arent too many places that I go that dont remind me of her. One day last month I was driving down freeway, and seemingly for no reason I just started crying so bad I had to pull over. A couple of minutes later a cop pulls up behind me, comes to tell me that I couldnt be parked there. I was pretty upset,he ask what was going on. I told him, he had been there before and was sympathetic. He just went back to his car and sat there for a few minutes till I got it together. Its odd sometime what will open the spigot. Some days it feels like it will never end. Others I am angry, or depressed, some days I never want to see her again. I love her more than anything in the world and would have her back if I could, but the ball is in her court now. Every day I wish I had a time machine and could go back a year. I would be willing to take that year off the end of my life just to have the time remaing with her. same here
Author smk Posted November 6, 2010 Author Posted November 6, 2010 This just sucks... It's like all of a sudden something went of in my head and I am back to day 1 after the break... Everywhere I look memories of her come up (the fact that the first place we kissed is somewhere I have pass every day on my way to work doesn't help), everywhere I look I see reminders of her, I see girls walking past me or ahead of me and they remind me of her... Its like all of a sudden the wound I have tried so hard to close in the past 5 months has just owned up again and is fresh now...
Div Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I have had days like this too. It's like just when you think its over you start feelings like *#@(&(*#$ again. HOWEVER, what I do know is when these periods end, you feel much much better. And there frequency decreases. It's just your mind cutting those last few cords that connected you with her. Embrace the feeling, then let it go and continue with life.
marigo Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Hey SMK, Ive been reading your posts a while bacl and i dont think ive heard from you in a while. Anyway, nothing is wrong with you!! It's been 8 months for me and im not gonna lie, my life is still this huge rollercoaster ride. It is definitely frustrating when you'd feel okay and then suddenly, out of nowhere, ud feel like crying or just get emotional for no reason. Especially now that the holiday season is coming up, i cant even go to the mall and see xmas decorations or smell scented candles related to xmas because it makes me sad. Knowing he's happy with someone else now makes this even harder. I dont think there really is anything we can do to make this emotional rollercoaster to stop. I just let myself feel those emotions and try my best to make myself happy even just temporarily. Temporary happiness isnt enough though, we do have to find something that could permanently make us happy and i think for the both of us, we havent really found that yet and hence, we're writing on here wondering what is wrong with us. But all i can say is that, its difficult and painful but it does get better. I still hurt a lot and cry a lot but everything is a lot easier for me to handle now. It does get very tiring. I am 8 months into it and yours is 4.5 and i guarantee you, it will get better. Just hang in there and goodluck!
Recommended Posts