Elevator Girl

[seekandfind]

So a really cool thing happened to me yesterday. I was going to class, taking the elevator up to the main level. There was this REALLY cute girl in the elevator. Randomly, she looks over and smiles at me, and I smiled back casually. When we got out, her and I were walking down the hallway side-by-side, so I just started talking to her, asking her what class she was going to etc etc.

 

It wasn't a long conversation (maybe like a minute long ), and wasn't particularly exciting. But as we were about to part ways, I determined to not let this go to waste. Her body language was pretty positive, so I asked what her name was, and if she wanted to hang out some time. She said sure and gave me her number and we both left for our classes. Now of course I was feeling really good, I had never got a random girl's number in the middle of the day that quickly before, and this girl was very attractive

 

So I texted her this morning at like 9:05 am (almost an hour ago), saying "Hey its seekandfind from the elevator yesterday =) when are you free to grab coffee or lunch?"

 

Was that a fine thing to say? She hasn't replied yet. That will suck if I got my hopes up for nothing haha.

[Feelin Frisky]

You're OK. But perhaps you should have just asked her if she's free for coffee or lunch rather than saying "when". A yes of no question is easiest for her at this point whereas a "when" question is a little more demanding. But hope is not lost. Leave the ball in her court though for at least a day or two.

[810]

 

So I texted her this morning at like 9:05 am (almost an hour ago), saying "Hey its seekandfind from the elevator yesterday =) when are you free to grab coffee or lunch?"

 

Was that a fine thing to say? She hasn't replied yet. That will suck if I got my hopes up for nothing haha.

she's prolly in class or still sleeping.

fwiw, you've made your move. good luck!

[Green]

You should have asked he out for coffee or lunch in person... You focused to much on the contact info which should be secondary. Then you lamely txted her instead of calling at 9am... a little early... you should have called her yesterday the day you got her number to invite her to do something yesteray and if she rejected that sugested today.

 

Look give yourself the ego boost what you did was cool regaurdless of how it now turns out.

 

What you should have done was after having the small conversation with her been like "lets get a bite to eat or a drink after class" then regaurdless of if she said yes or no you would have then got her contact info.

 

Instead you jsut got her contact info and left it at that.... then didn't contact her until early the next morning... u've pushed ur odds down but things still might work out.

 

Remember KISS her on the lips, don't ask just kiss her on the lips on the first time u spend alone... if the date is ending and u havn't done it yet.. then do it before u say goodbye.

[seekandfind]

You're OK. But perhaps you should have just asked her if she's free for coffee or lunch rather than saying "when". A yes of no question is easiest for her at this point whereas a "when" question is a little more demanding. But hope is not lost. Leave the ball in her court though for at least a day or two.

 

Yeah I know, but I didn't want to be in the situation where she says "No sorry I'm busy", and then I'm stuck lol. But I suppose if she would have said that I could have just asked her when a better time is. Is what I said possibly too demanding?

 

And to Green, I could have called her yesterday, but I thought that might have been a little overeager. Plus some girls don't like to answer when it's a unknown number or if they barely know the guy (cuz they think the phone conversation might be awkward).

But yeah, it would have been better to suggest a bite to eat or coffee after class in person before we parted ways. I don't talk to random hot girls that I meet in the elevator very often, so I wasn't totally on my game. Lesson learned tho

 

So assuming she doesn't text me back, there's really no point in trying again, maybe calling her this time? I know the answer already, but someone else reaffirming will make me feel better haha

[Green]

Yeah I know, but I didn't want to be in the situation where she says "No sorry I'm busy", and then I'm stuck lol. But I suppose if she would have said that I could have just asked her when a better time is. Is what I said possibly too demanding?

 

And to Green, I could have called her yesterday, but I thought that might have been a little overeager. Plus some girls don't like to answer when it's a unknown number or if they barely know the guy (cuz they think the phone conversation might be awkward).

But yeah, it would have been better to suggest a bite to eat or coffee after class in person before we parted ways. I don't talk to random hot girls that I meet in the elevator very often, so I wasn't totally on my game. Lesson learned tho

 

So assuming she doesn't text me back, there's really no point in trying again, maybe calling her this time? I know the answer already, but someone else reaffirming will make me feel better haha

 

You sent the txt probably just let it sit, but call if u think it would work. If you can run into her in person on monday and ask her out that would be best. I wouldn't give up till you get bored of trying or she asks you to stop though. Also don't get to focused on this girl, u were so cool asking this girl out how you did. you saw a girl you liked and then you made a move. You should keep on making moves on girls u see that catch ur attention... don't stop now

[Feelin Frisky]

Yeah I know, but I didn't want to be in the situation where she says "No sorry I'm busy", and then I'm stuck lol. But I suppose if she would have said that I could have just asked her when a better time is. Is what I said possibly too demanding?

 

...

Ah, ya can't control what she says so err on the side of positive rather than negative. If you two had chemistry then she probably wouldn't be so short and final about answering you. That's a little problem with texting and frankly, I came up before there was such a thing and it does not even compute to me. I can't imagine "texting" someone I don't know yet. But anyway, what's done is done. As I indicated, it would probably have been better to just ask her if she wants to see you that day than express it assumingly as in the use of "when". But again, all is not lost and she may answer.

 

If you don't hear after a day or two, you can follow up but be a little more humble--don't even mention the text message and just mention how you met and ask her again if she might want to have a casual meeting that day. If she does meet you, don't KISS HER ON THE LIPS LIKE GREEN TOLD YOU (unless you like gambling or know you're the swingingest dick on the planet that no female could possibly pass up).

Edited November 5, 2010 by Feelin Frisky

[Nemicron]

I hope she calls. But I think you didnt do anything wrong. Just got to give it time I guess.

[Green]

Ah, ya can't control what she says so err on the side of positive rather than negative. If you two had chemistry then she probably wouldn't be so short and final about answering you. That's a little problem with texting and frankly, I came up before there was such a thing and it does not even compute to me. I can't imagine "texting" someone I don't know yet. But anyway, what's done is done. As I indicated, it would probably have been better to just ask her if she wants to see you that day than express it assumingly as in the use of "when". But again, all is not lost and she may answer.

 

If you don't hear after a day or two, you can follow up but be a little more humble--don't even mention the text message and just mention how you met and ask her again if she might want to have a casual meeting that day. If she does meet you, don't KISS HER ON THE LIPS LIKE GREEN TOLD YOU (unless you like gambling or know you're the swingingest dick on the planet that no female could possibly pass up).

 

See ur advice was good by my advice was BETTER. He tried to played it safe because of how negative he was... yet he took a chance by making a move in the first place... .but he half assed it by not actualy asking her out to a specific time and place but only asking her for contact info then throwing out an open ended txt.

 

I also agree with ur advice that he shouldn't bring up the ignored txt if she in fact does ignore it... which a txt is easy to ignore ... also a good reason why he should have asked her out in person... or phone if he was forced too.

 

The KISS on the lips is esential. She'll duck it or say no if she doesn't want it.... and as long as he doesn't act phased it will only help his chances and create more attraction. If she is so upset by an attempted kiss then it only brough about the end quicker and saved him time.

[denise_xo]

 

The KISS on the lips is esential. She'll duck it or say no if she doesn't want it.... and as long as he doesn't act phased it will only help his chances and create more attraction. If she is so upset by an attempted kiss then it only brough about the end quicker and saved him time.

 

Oh come on, Green. I don't want to have to duck a guy's kiss, and I assume no man would really like to place me in that position/ be in the position where his attempt at kissing is being avoided. Two people who are clued into each other KNOW when it's time for that kiss. Until you know, you DON'T kiss.

[Green]

Oh come on, Green. I don't want to have to duck a guy's kiss, and I assume no man would really like to place me in that position/ be in the position where his attempt at kissing is being avoided. Two people who are clued into each other KNOW when it's time for that kiss. Until you know, you DON'T kiss.

 

oh haha denise_kisses&hugs (since I assume thats what the xo stands for) you have got it so wrong. As a man you have to just assume a girl who went on a date with you wanted something romantic and do ur best to make it romantic and assume she wants a kiss.

 

Yes there are ways to tell, like going in close and seeing if the girl enjoys the discomfort or not... but in the end ur best assuming she wants a kiss. Ur far better of being sorry you kissed (tried) then being sorry for not trying at all.

[seekandfind]

A kiss on a lunch/coffee date when you just met the girl is not really appropriate Unless you are the most interesting man in the world haha. If it was dinner, then after you walk her home you could kiss her goodnight.

 

But anyways, she didn't text back yesterday, I suppose I could try calling later today. But I think I'm gonna just chalk it up to a cool story and let it be. And next time ill ask the girl out in person!

[Green]

A kiss on a lunch/coffee date when you just met the girl is not really appropriate Unless you are the most interesting man in the world haha. If it was dinner, then after you walk her home you could kiss her goodnight.

 

But anyways, she didn't text back yesterday, I suppose I could try calling later today. But I think I'm gonna just chalk it up to a cool story and let it be. And next time ill ask the girl out in person!

 

Really how would you know? U ever try it? If it had been me in your story I would have got the girl because I would have A) asked her out on the spot while the mood was good (u just got her number) and then YES I would have turned on the ROMANCE by flirting, touching, and getting close and TRYING for a kiss.. (not in an awkward way but a smooth way)

 

If you know she has a specific class you could probably GAURANTEE seeing her again so your best bet is to ask her out in person. If you are not going to ask her out in person feel free to anoy her on the phone untill she either a) asks you to stop or b) you get bored of trying.

 

Call her today if you don't think you can see her in person again and ask her out then. If you call ask her out for today but if she says she is busy then throw monday out as a day for a date.

[musemaj11]

Dont try to kiss her until you feel the moment dude. Unless you want disaster or you wanna be a creep.

[Art_Critic]

Wait.. Your conversation lends itself to you getting her number and approval to call her later but you text her instead..

 

You really should have picked up the phone and called her.. use your god given voice to charm her not your texting.

 

I hope she calls you but if she doesn't then call her and don't text anymore to ask a girl out that you don't already know.

[Green]

Dont try to kiss her until you feel the moment dude. Unless you want disaster or you wanna be a creep.

 

Worrying about being a creep is lame. Seriously guys who even care about being called a creep need to toughen up.

 

Wait.. Your conversation lends itself to you getting her number and approval to call her later but you text her instead..

 

You really should have picked up the phone and called her.. use your god given voice to charm her not your texting.

 

I hope she calls you but if she doesn't then call her and don't text anymore to ask a girl out that you don't already know.

 

Its really easy to reject and ignore a txt that comes in at 9am in the moring. He was so cool to chat her up like that in person and yes he took ten steps backward by sending a txt. (very half assed way to chase a girl)(he was obviously nervouse because there is ZERO tactical advantage to asking a girl out in txt makes it EASY for them to just ignore)

[seekandfind]

Yeah, I have debated this internally a fair amount. I'm not afraid of calling girls I just met, and have often done this. It wasn't because I was nervous. I seriously was trying to play it cool lol. I thought that texting her for a casual meet-up would be the best way to go. In college a lot of people prefer texting, especially if they barely know the person. So she might have ignored my call as it would have been an unknown number. Also, sometimes girls don't check their voicemails for hours/or even the next day.

 

And Green, I suppose you are right in that there's no harm in trying again. I'll call her on my lunch break. I'll be surprised if she answers/calls back later though

Edited November 6, 2010 by seekandfind

[Cracker Jack]

Regardless if she calls back or not, I feel as though you did the right thing. I hope she really does call you back, but if she doesn't, it's all good. At least you know you can talk to a random girl, hot or not, and ask for her number. Good going.

[dispatch3d]

Numbers are easy, dates are more difficult. You need to talk to a girl longer than 5 minutes to get a non-flake date with her. Sure you can get her number that fast, just cause she can't say no, but to get a date you have to usually establish a bit more connection.

 

For now I would say call her and see if you can get her on the phone. I wouldn't have asked her out on a date yet mostly because you just don't know her well enough to give her a date.

 

I agree with green in the fact that you have to talk about the date first and the number second. Keep in mind getting a number is probably as difficult as getting a name with most girls.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think texting someone to ask them out on a date is very lame. I would never accept a first date invitation via text.

[halemeno]

Green, your approach makes me really uncomfortable. It's not a good idea to just assume that your date wants what you do (you aren't in her head -- maybe the meeting gave her the impression that you're a prick or remind her of her brother or something), particularly something physical and especially if it's an informal situation like this.

The OP was really respectful and appropriate, and if it were me, I would have really appreciated him for it. I hope she contacts you, but if not, don't let it discourage you from trying again.

[Green]

Yeah, I have debated this internally a fair amount. I'm not afraid of calling girls I just met, and have often done this. It wasn't because I was nervous. I seriously was trying to play it cool lol. I thought that texting her for a casual meet-up would be the best way to go. In college a lot of people prefer texting, especially if they barely know the person. So she might have ignored my call as it would have been an unknown number. Also, sometimes girls don't check their voicemails for hours/or even the next day.

 

And Green, I suppose you are right in that there's no harm in trying again. I'll call her on my lunch break. I'll be surprised if she answers/calls back later though

 

YOU DID GREAT... You were actualy really COOL to even try something like getting a cute girls number after a smile in an elvator... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

 

I'm only tearing every detail apart because thats what you came here for right?

 

Look in the future ASK A GIRL OUT (would you like to get a drink after class I'll meet you here after wards) or (lets get dinner tonight) then you get their contact info as a natural progression pretty much if they say YES to the date you get their number because it will make meeting up for the date easier... and if they say NO you just assume they said no because they were busy at the moment and you get the number for later ask outs... YOU DON'T TXT the next morning... YOU TXT RIGHT AWAY... At the moment you get the number you txt "Hey its _________ now you have my name and number" you can send this txt while ur still with the person or a minute or two after u've left them... now they can save your number....

 

Now asking out IN PERSON puts the most pressure on the girl... she will find it hard to say NO... Asking out in txt is an easy ignore or NO... If you can't ask out in person then you ask out over the phone.

 

As for using this Phone number... there is no harm. Realy at worst she gets creeped out by you and if that happens WHO CARES. Seriously I've had girls creeped out by me and they get over it... and no one cares... and even if they tell their friends you are a creep believe it or not their friends will be more likely to date you. no publicity is bad publicity... even notariaty will get you girls.

 

If it were me and I knew I would be able to find this girl in person again I would ask her out in person monday or tuesday when ever it was posible to find her again. Heck I'd even try to get in the elevator with her again. But if not then just call and leave a msg, make the msg silly and fun. Don't take this stuff to seriously.

 

Also for the love of god Keep asking out and chatting up random cute girls you see during the day.

 

Regardless if she calls back or not, I feel as though you did the right thing. I hope she really does call you back, but if she doesn't, it's all good. At least you know you can talk to a random girl, hot or not, and ask for her number. Good going.

 

He did the following things wrong 1) Didn't ask her out in person 2) Prized a phone number for more then it was worth 3) Sent a txt asking her out at 9am in the morning...

 

He did the following things right 1) He had the BALLS to see a girl he liked and CHAT her up 2) he got her Number

 

Numbers are easy, dates are more difficult. You need to talk to a girl longer than 5 minutes to get a non-flake date with her. Sure you can get her number that fast, just cause she can't say no, but to get a date you have to usually establish a bit more connection.

 

For now I would say call her and see if you can get her on the phone. I wouldn't have asked her out on a date yet mostly because you just don't know her well enough to give her a date.

 

I agree with green in the fact that you have to talk about the date first and the number second. Keep in mind getting a number is probably as difficult as getting a name with most girls.

 

 

I agree numbers don't mean much. (just a tool for communication)

 

I think texting someone to ask them out on a date is very lame. I would never accept a first date invitation via text.

 

It's lame and he shouldn't have done it. Truth is he may have ruined it all but whatever there are other girls. Learned his lesson hopefuly.

 

Green, your approach makes me really uncomfortable. It's not a good idea to just assume that your date wants what you do (you aren't in her head -- maybe the meeting gave her the impression that you're a prick or remind her of her brother or something), particularly something physical and especially if it's an informal situation like this.

The OP was really respectful and appropriate, and if it were me, I would have really appreciated him for it. I hope she contacts you, but if not, don't let it discourage you from trying again.

 

Yeah maybe she is thinking he reminds her of a little brother or whatever BUT it would be really uncofident to worry or think about such a thing. Truth is he doesn't have to think things are going to go right. But shouldn't worry about things going wrong and if things do go wrong shouldn't care or let it ruin his day. Have fun with dating like he did in his story about getting smiled at by a pretty girl in an elevator. cause thats what its about, being horny and having fun

[welikeincrowds]

Everything was perfect, except for two things.

 

1) Why first thing in the morning? I want to kill everything I come into contact with at 9am. Give her some time to be alert, at least. Afternoon would have been better. But it was very good that you contacted her the next day.

 

2) Should have called. It takes more guts, but down a shot or two beforehand if you need to clear your nerves. There are a million reasons not to text, and a million reasons to call. Regardless as to whether or not you agree with Green's approach to the first kiss, he is absolutely undeniably right about a) taking risks and b) keeping up the momentum. Until she gives you the yellow light, there's no reason to go below the speed limit.

 

I think if she doesn't text you back, you should call her again. Look, girls rarely give out their number to people they don't want to have it, so there's really no reason not to give it ~*the old college try*~. If she doesn't call you back, she doesn't call you back, but the text issue alone is simply not enough to go on.

[denise_xo]

oh haha denise_kisses&hugs (since I assume thats what the xo stands for) you have got it so wrong. As a man you have to just assume a girl who went on a date with you wanted something romantic and do ur best to make it romantic and assume she wants a kiss.

 

Yes there are ways to tell, like going in close and seeing if the girl enjoys the discomfort or not... but in the end ur best assuming she wants a kiss. Ur far better of being sorry you kissed (tried) then being sorry for not trying at all.

 

No hugs and kisses, Green, I'm just full of cognac

We'll just have to agree to disagree on the kissing strategies.

[Green]

No hugs and kisses, Green, I'm just full of cognac

We'll just have to agree to disagree on the kissing strategies.

 

Ur a woman you don't really need a strategy.