worlybear Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 OP, if you have to ask, the answer is no, you shouldn't. It really doesn't get any simpler than that. I agree with this. YOU decide- not anyone else!
Philetus Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 It would be great if you can shed some insight on this.My questions are: 1.Does he really like me or he just want to have sex? 2.Should i go there for a next time? 3.What was wrong with the sex/or trying for intercouse?That was the closest i've ever had to an intercouse.How did we do?His dick is not big..Is there anything wrong with my vigina and me? 4.To the girls here,any advice for me as a first timer? Any advice, guys? I'm a guy. 1. I only read your post on this thread. So, I have no idea if he likes you or just wants sex. If he likes you, he's either lied about his experience or he's incredibly nervous. If you go back and see him, expect more of the same. He doesn't seem to know what he's doing and if you're able to have sex with him, I bet it will be awkward and unmemorable. The fact that he cuddled with you and talked after you decided to stop trying, rather than got upset, leads me to believe he MIGHT like you. 2. Only you can answer that. It depends on how badly you just want to get it over with (ie losing your virginity). Given his level of experience, I don't think you'll find it that enjoyable. 3. There are plenty of reasons why he couldn't get it up. Was he drunk? Stress is the most likely reason. Do you think he was nervous about something? He may feel stress about his performance, he may feel guilty because he's taking your virginity and has lied about his feelings for you, he may feel pressure to be 'good' because it's your first time. Or, he may just not be into you. I can't comment on whether there is something wrong with your vagina. If I were you, I'd try masterbating and see if it hurt when I put my own finger in there. This guy sounds very inexperienced and, IMO, didn't do enough to make sure you were ready. He should have made sure you were very wet before even trying penetration. 4. I'm not a girl but if I were you, I'd either wait for someone with more experience or, if I was into this guy, get some books and educate myself. Take control of the next experience and tell him what to do/try so you're more ready next time.
musemaj11 Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 How do i know if i'm horny since i've never had any intercouse?Girls, any idea on this? Wow, lol. You have sex because you are horny, not to get horny.
waynebrady Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Wow, lol. You have sex because you are horny, not to get horny. Thing is. Women can't get horny.
Leandro Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Absolutely. A lot of guys just get off on having sex with a virgin. Even ones they aren't particularly into. You're an IDEA to him. Not a person. You could weigh 300lbs and be missing an eye with these guys and they'll still try to be the first to 'deflower' you. Come on, girl. Quit kidding yourself here! I agree with this post. During high school I knew this guy who did nothing but deflower girls. He would sweet talk them till he slept with them, then dumped them for a virgin. These were very sweet young girls, oh well.
Akherousia Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Thing is. Women can't get horny. Sure we can. Just not with you. As your lack of experience with how to make a woman horny shows.
Author Mellisa Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 I'm a guy. 1. I only read your post on this thread. So, I have no idea if he likes you or just wants sex. If he likes you, he's either lied about his experience or he's incredibly nervous. If you go back and see him, expect more of the same. He doesn't seem to know what he's doing and if you're able to have sex with him, I bet it will be awkward and unmemorable. The fact that he cuddled with you and talked after you decided to stop trying, rather than got upset, leads me to believe he MIGHT like you. -Actually i left out a mixed signal...We finished talking in the midnight.It was sometime passed 12am.Knowing i've already missed the metro,I asked to spend the night there(should i have asked?).He was like"i want to have you here, i feel bad you have to leave at this late, but i dont sleep very well with someone in my bed and i have a long day at work tomorrow..."So i put on my clothes and told him i would go.I told him not to walk me out but he insisted.While we were waiting for the cab,he said something like"i like your eyes,they are realy beautiful..."which was out of nowhere since i wasnt staring at him.And then he said he would send me a message on monday to see if we could meet again. -The fact he wouldnt let me spend the night there got me think he might not like me that much.But he did tell me that he like me after the sex trail;Other things he said like when i joked with him saying maybe to lose my virginity to a travelinging brit isnt such a bad idea(that's before the trail) he was like"a traveling brit, that's all i'm to you?";And while we were cuddling in bed he said things like when he's 85 in a country house in England, he would tell his grand children that he met a girl here through an online dating site while traveling;It was those things he said kinda got me into the sentiment that we'll miss each other. 2. Only you can answer that. It depends on how badly you just want to get it over with (ie losing your virginity). Given his level of experience, I don't think you'll find it that enjoyable. 3. There are plenty of reasons why he couldn't get it up. Was he drunk? Stress is the most likely reason. Do you think he was nervous about something? He may feel stress about his performance, he may feel guilty because he's taking your virginity and has lied about his feelings for you, he may feel pressure to be 'good' because it's your first time. Or, he may just not be into you. -No, he wasnt drunk.. I can't comment on whether there is something wrong with your vagina. If I were you, I'd try masterbating and see if it hurt when I put my own finger in there. This guy sounds very inexperienced and, IMO, didn't do enough to make sure you were ready. He should have made sure you were very wet before even trying penetration. 4. I'm not a girl but if I were you, I'd either wait for someone with more experience or, if I was into this guy, get some books and educate myself. Take control of the next experience and tell him what to do/try so you're more ready next time. Thanks for the male input! I've given it some thoughts and have decided not to have sex with him.It is going to be my first time.And he's got like what,3 days left..If i have to be honest with myself,i'm not ok have sex for the first time,finally get a taste of what it's like(whether it's good or bad),and then just wont be able to see him again..If it's bad, i'll never have a second chance to get it right with him so my first time ended up sucking as a bad experience;If it's good,i'll get attached and feel sad i cant have more with him;Also what's most likely, whether the first time turns out good or bad, is a big possility i might get attached since i like him and i'm not those women who can just use a man for his body..So in this situation, sex will only make things more complicated, therefore, i know it's a wise decision not to have sex with him. Plus, i'll really loath the thought of me draging myself out of bed to catch the metro probably bleeding and in pain after my first time cause he wont let me spend the night..But then again, how many british can you meet ?I'm not a particular fan of brits but do find foreign guys can be attractive...Just wish he wasnt leaving so soon:mad:
Kamille Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Plus, i'll really loath the thought of me draging myself out of bed to catch the metro probably bleeding and in pain after my first time cause he wont let me spend the night..But then again, how many british can you meet ?I'm not a particular fan of brits but do find foreign guys can be attractive...Just wish he wasnt leaving so soon:mad: If you are relaxed and properly lubricated, the pain of breaking the hymen will likely last only a few minutes after first penetration. If you are aroused, you might even forget about it after a few minutes. At most, if your hymen doesn't break but only stretches, it should last for the time of penetration and subside afterwards. Bleeding shouldn't be too significant and it you find yourself bleeding significantly or for more than an hour after you are done, you should head to a clinic. My first time was rather painless. I felt a burning sensation for about 3 minutes and then started enjoying it. I did bleed, but it was very light and hardly left a stain. I had stopped bleeding by the time we were done.
Idalis Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 How is virginity defined?? I'm reading these posts saying to save your virginity for someone worth it but I would consider that this brit guy was your first time, it wasn't good, as most people say there first time isn't but I don't think you have your virginity to give to someone else. You can't just call a 'do-over' on virginity just b/c the guy couldnt keep it up. It sounds like he kept it up enough to penetrate you... I guess I am the only one who thinks that virginity ends there. So my opinion is learn from this experience that perhaps you need the emotional connection in order to get completely aroused and move on to find someone who will meet that need first, then move on to sex. I agree with the poster that said you'll go back anyhow. good luck with that!!
beyondhope Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I disagree with the above; it doesn't sound to me like you "lost" your virginity. I had a similar situation back in high school, where he tried to get it in but couldn't because it hurt too much. It was awkward and rushed and after his roommate walked in on us, we stopped trying. A year later I lost my virginity to someone whom I trusted and whom I felt very comfortable with. We had sex like, five times that night. Looking back, once in a while I wonder if that first awkward try was really when I "lost" it, but even if my "cherry" was "popped" (ha) that first time, I would never consider it sex; lots of people have their hymen break for other reasons, and the real sex happened when I was able to enjoy myself and the actual act was completed.
Author Mellisa Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 How is virginity defined?? I'm reading these posts saying to save your virginity for someone worth it but I would consider that this brit guy was your first time, it wasn't good, as most people say there first time isn't but I don't think you have your virginity to give to someone else. You can't just call a 'do-over' on virginity just b/c the guy couldnt keep it up. It sounds like he kept it up enough to penetrate you... I guess I am the only one who thinks that virginity ends there. So my opinion is learn from this experience that perhaps you need the emotional connection in order to get completely aroused and move on to find someone who will meet that need first, then move on to sex. I agree with the poster that said you'll go back anyhow. good luck with that!! This is a fun perspective:eek:;I was actually talking about this with a guy friend yesterday and somewhere along the conversation he said something the same like"now you are not a virgin, you are half a virgin,why not go back and let him finish the job..." It didnt go in.I'm still a virgin.How come would you think i'm not a virgin anymore?
Author Mellisa Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I disagree with the above; it doesn't sound to me like you "lost" your virginity. I had a similar situation back in high school, where he tried to get it in but couldn't because it hurt too much. It was awkward and rushed and after his roommate walked in on us, we stopped trying. A year later I lost my virginity to someone whom I trusted and whom I felt very comfortable with. We had sex like, five times that night. Looking back, once in a while I wonder if that first awkward try was really when I "lost" it, but even if my "cherry" was "popped" (ha) that first time, I would never consider it sex; lots of people have their hymen break for other reasons, and the real sex happened when I was able to enjoy myself and the actual act was completed. Thanks for defending my virginity:p You did it 5 times the night you first had sex?My cherry was for sure not popped:rolleyes:
xpaperxcutx Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 This is a fun perspective:eek:;I was actually talking about this with a guy friend yesterday and somewhere along the conversation he said something the same like"now you are not a virgin, you are half a virgin,why not go back and let him finish the job..." It didnt go in.I'm still a virgin.How come would you think i'm not a virgin anymore? I seriously hope your friend was just kidding. That kind of comment is seriously inappropriate.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I seriously hope your friend was just kidding. That kind of comment is seriously inappropriate. I'm sure he was joking. I once told a date that I considered her to still be a virgin, because she had never been with me... and thus didn't know how good sex could be. It was cheesy bravado, but it fit the conversation at the time. Out of that context it sounds inappropriate.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I'm sure he was joking. I once told a date that I considered her to still be a virgin, because she had never been with me... and thus didn't know how good sex could be. It was cheesy bravado, but it fit the conversation at the time. Out of that context it sounds inappropriate. This is kind of out of context, why have you been replying to all my comments? Not just in this thread, but in other ones as well... you are really creeping me out with your stalking.
John018 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I once told a date that I considered her to still be a virgin, because she had never been with me... and thus didn't know how good sex could be. I am definitely going to use that line one day. Oh yes.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 This is kind of out of context, why have you been replying to all my comments? Not just in this thread, but in other ones as well... you are really creeping me out with your stalking. Well, if you don't like it... Stop being interesting! There have been a few threads if you go back and look where your simply spot on in your observations. Sometimes I'm not really responding to you so much as quoting you and providing feedback for the OP. That said... continue to feel creeped. I'm not going to change.
OceanGirl Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 In terms of pain, losing virginity is not as big of a deal as people make it out to be. I didn't really enjoy my first time but the pain only lasted few minutes and my period cramps are WAY worse than the pain I experienced. I didn't really bleed at all at the time. I did find a tiny bit of blood few hours later. Funny, but I had the situation where I found myself taking the metro alone after the event. I knew the deal with the guy before hand, we dated briefly but I wasn't in love with him and he wasn't in love with me. We did it in the early afternoon and he had to head off to work afterwards, so there wasn't much cuddling. If I were you, I would just get it over and done with.
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