PracticalShade Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 (edited) I'm a 30 year old guy and I was talking with this 31 year old girl that I was matched up with on e-harmony. We seem to hit it off pretty well and after about a month of talking I paid to fly her from out of state to see me in person. Everything seemed like it was going really well --especially in person-- but after she went back it all changed. I'm the kind of person that every so often I might speak "sweet nothings" but generally I let my actions speak for me. She's a very loveydovey person and it tended to make me feel awkward when she'd constantly express her feelings about me/us. [Example: sending a text everyday saying something like "hey babe I wanted you to know I was thinking about you." As sweet as it is in the beginning it eventually starts to sound like an insecure, broken record. At least to me.] Ultimately, she said I wasn't trying hard enough to be emotionally open, and I said she was laying it on too thick. It built up to where I just started feeling annoyed by it all. I eventually told her that we probably weren't right for each other and I ended it. I have this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach but not in a way that I want her back. So what I'm wondering is this: Is it possible to be initially interested in someone and then their personality turns you so far off that you can't STAND them, or was I just not as interested in her as I thought I was to begin with? Blech-- waste of 2 months hahaha! Edited November 5, 2010 by PracticalShade forgotten details
homebrew Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I am more a more sensitive guy than most so I am not quite sure that it would bother me as much as it does you. However, being that it is just two months in and you already have issues with her... I would let her go and set her free. The way she is with you (which you now find annoying), will be PERFECT for someone else. As for you, you will find someone that is more in-tune with you as well. That's my two cents worth!
Cratsky Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I'm female, and even I know that to expect a man to reciprocate love-talk when you're not even in a serious relationship is quite emotionally immature. Actually, to even talk this way without knowing of the man you're seeing is even in touch with his feelings enough to return the sentiment is setting yourself up for failure. The poor thing. Could you imagine if you'd actually given it a shot? She'd be pouting that you forgot about something or other. Sorry, I just don't have time for women (regardless of age) who have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old.
britchick Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Just put it down to experience. Online dating - you just never really know until you meet someone in person, no matter how much you chat online/on the phone. That feeling in the pit of your stomach is probably to do with having an image in your mind of how it was going to be and then finding it just wasn't right. You're missing something that was never really there. Hope you find it. x
Author PracticalShade Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 She's the kind of girl that's used to being sought after and used to a guy being all about her from the start. She probably associated heavy pursuit as what it's supposed to be like in a relationship. I imagine it threw her for a loop when I wasn't texting her regularly throughout each day and chomping at the bit to get on webcam. Combine that with her being a single parent due to divorce three years ago and I imagine those are factors for the way she tried to be all emotionally "tigger" on me lol
Don Ho Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Is it possible to be initially interested in someone and then their personality turns you so far off that you can't STAND them, or was I just not as interested in her as I thought I was to begin with? I think you were probably somewhat interested in her. Then when you found she was emotionally suffocating and clingy after meeting her, that turned you the other direction. You probably would have done better with a woman with a stronger personality that was more of a challenge.
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