Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Hey, I believe that this is my first post in this section ever so thanks for understanding. I'll try to make the story really short. A year ago, mid-October, I met a girl online. We hit it off, started seeing each other more often, had a great time. Around beginning of December we became exclusive. Mid-December I had to leave for a trip and came back in mid-January. We had a great time, I met her family etc. Everything was going really well. The thing was that I was finishing up graduate school and applying for jobs in academia. She has mentioned a couple of times that she would like to move one day some place warmer than where we were. When I landed a job in CA and told her about it I was hoping that it would somehow work out considering what she was saying before. Well, she came to the conclusion that she doesn't want to leave her family etc. I don't blame her for that... We broke up at the beginning of February. The thing is that somehow I have managed to talk myself into believing that we are going to be one of those stories where we meet then because of some circumstances we have to split but at the end everything works out and there is a happy-ending... I have managed to talk myself into believing that she is PERFECT! We have been keeping in touch, met up a couple of times before I left for CA in August, then we kept exchanging e-mails, quite often. Now, today, I found out that she is in a new relationship... I don't blame her, I am happy for her, it's logical and I know that it was just a matter of time before that happens. Before you say anything, I know - all my believes were somehow childish. I know that there is a lot of other people out there. It's just somehow hard to cope with the loss... Has anyone gone through a similar thing? Do you guys have any advice on what to do in this situation? Thanks for reading, I just somehow had to get this out.
Green Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 If you really cared for this girl you'd try to guilt her into moving. You couldn't just live ur entire life by her family
Star Gazer Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 It's just somehow hard to cope with the loss... LR, you didn't lose anything. You were in a relationship with this girl for just over two months, and one of those months you were away and barely even with her. Your beliefs/fantasies weren't childish, they're just not realistic. You have to look at the situation for what it is.
Cratsky Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Agree with star-gazer. Take a step back and write down what you want in a long term partner and where you see things going. Then compare it to your list of her core qualities and her life goals. Do they match? If not, that's a clear sign that it would never have worked. Yes, everyone goes through the honeymoon period and tries to put a glaze in the reality of things. So I understand why you may still be feeling quite stung by it all. But give it another month. Focus on meeting new people and improving yourself. Life always has a way of working out and you might meet someone in the near future who is more suitable.
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