People dont really know what a nice guy is. And what games that guys have to go...

[waynebrady]

Nice qualities that attract me: a guy should be very horny, desperate to have sex with me, open about being horny, with no performance anxiety and no extra-pounds, pays for dinner and everything if needed, talks a lot about real himself, not afraid to be himself, does stuff that I want him to do, says me white lies which I want to hear such as I am beautiful, sexy, amazing and anything pleasant about me.

As for the statement " I'm not gonna kiss anyone's butt because I think its what they want you to hear". I would love to hear that a guy wants to kiss my butt and if he really did that it would be a great turn IMO.

 

No offence but no real man will accept that kind of treatment and anyone who does is a wimp that let's himself be emasculated that way.

[Nemicron]

Dont think that actually was a women. to be honest. lol

 

Unfortunatley that's how all women are. They want to be worshipped and have the upper hand at all times without "giving" anything back to the guy. That has been proven over and over again.

[irc333]

Right, and it's impossible to have both.

 

 

I agree with this statement. The problem is that the women will go for the bad boy (drama) to F*** and then look for a guy they can talk to and make him their friend. This way they get the sexy guy AND the thoughtful guy (but only one will be the bf and it will be the one that their F***ing).

 

The solution is to be the sexy guy with a heart of gold but they are very rare

so women will keep F***int the sexy guy and hope he will turn into the sexy/thoughtful guy ( but men do the same thing to thoughtful women, TBF ).

[LittleTiger]

So you can tell a man has all those traits in the first few minutes of meeting him:laugh: i highly doubt it

 

I know plenty of guys who are insecure deep down but get plenty of women becasue theyre highly attractive and can also fake confidence

 

If womens intution was so dead on alll the time then none of them would get "played" by these "players"

 

I've got news for you AD1980, deep down we ALL have insecurities - it's called being human.

 

Even if confidence is 'fake' it still says a lot about a guy's strength of character.... and who said anything about the first few minutes? It takes only a matter of seconds before we decide if a prospective partner is a suitable mate from a physical/chemical perspective and it's all instinctive. We actually can't choose who we find attractive and who we don't.

 

It would really help some of you guys if you stopped clubbing women into one group of identical beings - all of whom apparently prefer cocky jerks who treat them badly. Women are all different. Some women do have very good intuition, others don't. Some women pick players on a regular basis, some have never been 'played'!

[AD1980]

I've got news for you AD1980, deep down we ALL have insecurities - it's called being human.

 

Even if confidence is 'fake' it still says a lot about a guy's strength of character.... and who said anything about the first few minutes? It takes only a matter of seconds before we decide if a prospective partner is a suitable mate from a physical/chemical perspective and it's all instinctive. We actually can't choose who we find attractive and who we don't.

 

It would really help some of you guys if you stopped clubbing women into one group of identical beings - all of whom apparently prefer cocky jerks who treat them badly. Women are all different. Some women do have very good intuition, others don't. Some women pick players on a regular basis, some have never been 'played'!

 

 

 

Yes deep down we all have insecurities which is my POINT and why the word confidence is overused adn a fluff word in the dating world because nobody is always confident ..

 

You said you find out whitin a matter of seconds if youre attrcted to someobdy and if insitinctively its a suitable mate so of course attraction then has nothing to do with confidence because you cant possibly tell that quickly how much a person posseses..

 

If confidence was that important then only confident people would be in relationships

Edited November 6, 2010 by AD1980

[LittleTiger]

Yes deep down we all have insecurities which is my POINT and why the word confidence is overused adn a fluff word in the dating world because nobody is always confident ..

 

You said you find out whitin a matter of seconds if youre attrcted to someobdy and if insitinctively its a suitable mate so of course attraction then has nothing to do with confidence because you cant possibly tell that quickly how much a person posseses..

 

If confidence was that important then only confident people would be in relationships

 

I thought the discussion was about what makes a 'nice guy' and how a 'nice guy' is different from a bad boy etc. I don't think anybody has said you have to be confident to get a partner but confidence does give you an advantage, just as being physically very good looking does. It's the air of confidence that woman find attractive about 'bad boys'.

 

'Nice guys' as used in the derogatory sense implies lack of confidence. As I've already said, I think someone can be a nice guy and still have all the other qualities a woman is looking for, including confidence. Personally, I hate the 'nice guy' tag and what it represents.

 

I would describe my own partner as a nice guy ('nice' in the way that Nemicron described earlier). He also exudes confidence and raw sex appeal (to me)..... and yes I did pick that up within seconds of seeing him. He walked tall, like a man who knew who he was and was proud of it and his smile was relaxed and self assured - I really can't describe it any better than that.

 

Also - as I said before - sexual attraction is instinctive. We don't consciously decide to find someone attractive. Whatever it is we're attracted to is actually decided for us by our hormones. Confidence is one the traits that scientists have found people (men and women) are unconsciously attracted to.

Edited November 6, 2010 by LittleTiger

[Surrealist]

Conversely, and ironically, I've seen average women exude confidence and become successful in lots of areas in life and relationships that the insecure hot looking chick exhibiting a 'dont look at me' aura can never seem to attain. Because the latter has relied so much on her looks, she fails to develop a likeable personality that would see her otherwise succeed in life, such as career and relationships. Yes I know the same is true with guys but I mention this because the 'confidence' trait being discussed in the thread as an attractive factor is also relevant to a man's attraction to women.

[LittleTiger]

Yes I know the same is true with guys but I mention this because the 'confidence' trait being discussed in the thread as an attractive factor is also relevant to a man's attraction to women.

 

Just beat you to it with my edit.

[Monm82]

I don't think a doormat should be considered a bad person.

 

I also wish confidence wasn't such a make or deal with women. I wish they liked guys just because they're guys. That's how it is with most men towards women.

[amagordos]

Nice guys can get girls. I have seen it happen before, they just need nice girls. Nice guys, some that I know don't get girls because most of the time they go after the unattanable girls or bitchy girls. I know girls that are dating guys that are not attractive at all, but they seem to be happy and in love. They must have fallen for their personalities or maybe it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps some of these nice guys need to start looking for girls that might actually be intersted. I hate this whole, girls just want to play games attitude some these guys talk about, it's so annoying.

These guys expect girls to lower their standards, as in don't look much at his looks, but they are not willing to do the same. I have had many crushes on guys that many considered hot and cute, but none of them gave me the time of day, so I decided to stop dwelling on them and actually start looking for a guy with a good personality instead. Yes there are guys that are not very attractive, that I have rejected, but most of the time, they also had flaws I couldn't gloss over. These guys I rejected were low-lifes who had no plans for the future.

Just recently I dated a guy I did not find physically attractive. I gave him a chance and it didn't work out. I don't know, for some reason I couldn't get into him so much. If was more of his personality that turned me off though. I know this because I developed a crush on my best friend, who I never found attractive and always thought was average-looking. I liked his personality.

Guys that complain they can't get girls, stop looking asking the wrong girls out. Stop pitying yourselves. That is such a turn-off. The biggest turn-on for girls is a guy that picks himself right back up after a rejection and tries again.

[Akherousia]

Yup some of us are just unatractvie to the opposite sex and theyres not much you can do not matter how many fluff cliches people want to throw out

 

Sure there is. Accept reality as it is and move on. It makes no sense to be hitting the wall with your head when you really need a hammer for the job. There are many guys and gals out there, asexuals, and they've been living well. All this whinning about how "ugly" you might be is really a downer and women can see right into it just by noticing your presence.

[PJKino]

Sure there is. Accept reality as it is and move on. It makes no sense to be hitting the wall with your head when you really need a hammer for the job. There are many guys and gals out there, asexuals, and they've been living well. All this whinning about how "ugly" you might be is really a downer and women can see right into it just by noticing your presence.

 

Yes im sure it has nothign to do with looks if i had "confidence" women would flock to me:laugh::laugh:

 

Spare me

[Nemicron]

I'm not even gonna bother. this thread went way off what I was trying to do.

[dispatch3d]

I have no problem talking about what women want. I'm pretty sure it would also go nowehere, but at least it would have a hope of being productive.

 

This thread title, subject, etc. is just so negative tho I can't see the conversation being anything but negative....

[Nemicron]

My intentions were to show both sides the difficulties that they have and perhaps have a understanding. Grant you I do believe nice guys have a more rough time then jerks. But however that wasn't the point.

 

 

 

I have no problem talking about what women want. I'm pretty sure it would also go nowehere, but at least it would have a hope of being productive.

 

This thread title, subject, etc. is just so negative tho I can't see the conversation being anything but negative....

[Surrealist]

I'm not even gonna bother. this thread went way off what I was trying to do.

 

If its any consolation to yuo nemicrom I saw what you were trying to accomplish after you clarified my post earlier in the thread.

[Nemicron]

Thank you I'm glad you understood. I wasn't trying to talk about myself. I've already listed of my traits. But it wasn't me I was talking about.

 

I believe a true nice guy should be like this. And I believe Nice girls should also

 

Caring and understanding, Loving but a hard @ss when need be. FAithful And can be your best friend as well as the one your settled down with. Someone you can talk to about anything that wont judge you. And able to help you through the bad time and be there for the good times. Honest to a fault. And patient.

 

I've spent my life trying to perfect those traits in myself. Not for anyone else. Just because I can. No me personally I'm finding I have to start all over again due to whats happened to me. But thats my point. maybe if women understood and could settle down. And maybe if guys could grow up and both sides stop playing these stupid fluffin games. How much easyier would it be. Instead alot of women make guys jump through all these hoops. And alot of women think all guys want is just sex.

 

But its both sides. And its a war that is totally unnecessary. I doubt I'll ever be able to change anyones minds. But I have some hope someone will understand

 

 

If its any consolation to yuo nemicrom I saw what you were trying to accomplish after you clarified my post earlier in the thread.

[dispatch3d]

usually when I'm nice to girls I get treated like ****. So I dunno what to say. Start being nice back girls and I'll act nice too?

 

I mean, tons of examples. One of the girls I was really good friends with I invited to some family wedding I was going to. She texted me 3 hours before the wedding that she couldn't attend.....

[Nemicron]

Im not saying that if you continue to be ince will get you anywhere. But most girls love to play those types. But I am sayiing better yourself for who you are. Fluff the women. just because it looks good on the outside doesn't it isn't full of **** on the inside.

 

 

usually when I'm nice to girls I get treated like ****. So I dunno what to say. Start being nice back girls and I'll act nice too?

 

I mean, tons of examples. One of the girls I was really good friends with I invited to some family wedding I was going to. She texted me 3 hours before the wedding that she couldn't attend.....

[Surrealist]

Nemicron

 

I know you were in a pretty crap relationship in the past from what I recall of your posts, are you in a relationship now, or dating at all?

[Nemicron]

Nope I have nothing. And completely single I have no one. MAybe I wasn't clear on that. But I doubt I'll ever find anyone that is willing to help a ok looking guy with baggage

 

 

 

Nemicron

 

I know you were in a pretty crap relationship in the past from what I recall of your posts, are you in a relationship now, or dating at all?

[Titania22]

Nope I have nothing. And completely single I have no one. MAybe I wasn't clear on that. But I doubt I'll ever find anyone that is willing to help a ok looking guy with baggage

 

Hey it is possible to give the baggage to the poor one day, when you won't be needing it anymore.

[Nemicron]

LOL Well still. I'm one of a kind. There will be nothing like me. And I lost everything.

 

 

 

 

Hey it is possible to give the baggage to the poor one day, when you won't be needing it anymore.

[Titania22]

LOL Well still. I'm one of a kind. There will be nothing like me. And I lost everything.

 

Absolutely, one of you is enough. jk

[Nemicron]

Yes Maam. lol

 

 

Absolutely, one of you is enough. jk