People dont really know what a nice guy is. And what games that guys have to go...

[Nemicron]

Well if your not Shallow in that respect then great. You'd be like the .01 percent that aren't. But as far as I go. I've heard pretty much every excuse in the book. But as I said I'm not the subject. But I'm not going to sugar coat anything. Why should I? And I wont play games with peoples feelings. I met a girl one time that messed with a guy so badly that he cracked and then had to go through serious therapy and all sorts of crap. But you wanna know the the girls excuse was? lol she was actually proud of what she had done. Nevermind, what her reasons were. And the messed up thing is I've met tons just like that. So with all do respect Miss girl. Dont put me in front of the firing squad. Put the Women that are just like that. Or like my ex in front of them.

 

 

I really don't know what you are saying.

 

You think people should go out with people they aren't interested in just in case they change their mind? Is there a number of dates they have to go on to give someone a chance?

 

 

This always strikes me as unhealthy, but maybe it is a difference in perspective.

 

I naturally have a pretty low tolerance for other people's nonsense (like rudeness, not being dependable, etc). I will call people on that stuff, but I don't tend to get super worked up about it most of the time. If my basic expectations aren't met (they aren't very high) I usually end up dropping the person.

 

But I do care about how people feel. I would feel bad if I unintentionally hurt someone's feelings and would try to address it. Unless I think there behavior is out of line, I do care.

 

I don't see how requiring people respect you (which I think I do) means that you don't care how anyone else thinks or feels.

[skydiveaddict]

Yup some of us are just unatractvie to the opposite sex and theyres not much you can do not matter how many fluff cliches people want to throw out

 

 

I disagree. There is a lot you can do to to improve your physical appearance and work on your self image, You can do it if you really want to.

Just don't be a "nice guy", that's the real problem.

[Nemicron]

Thank you very much.

 

Absolutely, 100% correct! That sums it up nicely.

 

Topics like this will keep coming up because I am going to be starting a few of them myself. Because I am so fed up that the nice guys of the world have to suffer through all of this. In order for a stereotype to exist, there has to be some truth to it. There was a reason that the phrase "Nice guys finish last" existed. This did not just come out of nowhere. That phrase has proven itself right time and time again. This phrase will hold true for as long as people blink.

 

I feel terrible for these nice guys out there who keep asking the question as to why they aren't having success with women. And it is time that these nice stop suffering and to start having success with women.

 

There was a time where I used to be a nice guy. Little to no action from the ladies. Then, I started to associate myself with the AlphaMales and stopped being so nice. What happened? Women made themselves available to me.

 

The nice guys of the world don't deserve to feel the way they do. They keep hearing women say that they want nice guys. But when that guy comes along, you shun him.

 

Should a nice guy get with a girl, chances are she's not as hot as the ones who associate themselves with AlphaMales and BadBoys.

 

Here's a topic in where a nice guy felt betrayed by a girl who he had a crush on. There were only two responses, mine being the second. The guy never responded probably because what I said hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t250725/

[Nemicron]

See I think thats crap. If you took a guy and dressed him up in expensive clothes and gave him a shiny care and taught him the perfect things to say. He could look like a dog walking backwards. I've actually seen it work in real life on some of the talk shows. I dont totally believe that there are totally women out there that look at the inner qualities in a guy rather then whats on the outside. I know alot of them say that. But when the pretty shiney guy walks by them. Then thats a totally different story

 

 

I disagree. There is a lot you can do to to improve your physical appearance and work on your self image, You can do it if you really want to.

Just don't be a "nice guy", that's the real problem.

[Nemicron]

LOL I read up on this guy named David DeAngelo. Which apparently he sells ebooks and what not on dating guides. But I've scanned through a few of his books and honestly. He basically lies through his teeth to women. And apparently it works. If what he says is true that is

[skydiveaddict]

See I think thats crap. If you took a guy and dressed him up in expensive clothes and gave him a shiny care and taught him the perfect things to say. He could look like a dog walking backwards. I've actually seen it work in real life on some of the talk shows. I dont totally believe that there are totally women out there that look at the inner qualities in a guy rather then whats on the outside. I know alot of them say that. But when the pretty shiney guy walks by them. Then thats a totally different story

 

 

You misunderstand me my friend. I agree with you. Women do not look at the inner qualities of a man, they couldn't care less (although many will say they do).

 

I'm talking about hitting the weight room, looking good physically and being confident. It is attainable for you. Doesn't matter what clothes you wear or what car you drive, it's all about how you carry yourself.

[Nemicron]

LOL well if your ever in Colorado Springs I'll buy you a beer or something. ^_^ But still you cant present yourself looking good if your on roller skates. ( mind if your not in CA )

 

You misunderstand me my friend. I agree with you. Women do not look at the inner qualities of a man, they couldn't care less (although many will say they do).

 

I'm talking about hitting the weight room, looking good physically and being confident. It is attainable for you. Doesn't matter what clothes you wear or what car you drive, it's all about how you carry yourself.

[skydiveaddict]

LOL well if your ever in Colorado Springs I'll buy you a beer or something. ^_^ But still you cant present yourself looking good if your on roller skates. ( mind if your not in CA )

 

 

You're wrong. You can look good anywhere. That's what you lack and don't seem to understand. Confidence. Why do you think you see all these pretty girls dating dirtbags? Because of how they carry themselves. They treat their girls poorly, they lie, they cheat do drugs etc.. They keep the girl chasing them. That's all there is to it. BTW, I'll take you up on that beer. I'm in the Springs alot.

[Nemicron]

I read your profile. Your Nat guard. lol I was Spec ops Army,121st inf, sniper div. Nice to see. Atleast maybe someone in the Army I can trust. Ever have to to do Halo Jumps?

 

But seriously Army girls they are worse then the rest of the girls I've met. And alot of the Military girls spread STD's

 

You're wrong. You can look good anywhere. That's what you lack and don't seem to understand. Confidence. Why do you think you see all these pretty girls dating dirtbags? Because of how they carry themselves. They treat their girls poorly, they lie, they cheat do drugs etc.. They keep the girl chasing them. That's all there is to it. BTW, I'll take you up on that beer. I'm in the Springs alot.

[skydiveaddict]

I read your profile. Your Nat guard. lol I was Spec ops Army,121st inf, sniper div. Nice to see. Atleast maybe someone in the Army I can trust. Ever have to to do Halo Jumps?

 

But seriously Army girls they are worse then the rest of the girls I've met. And alot of the Military girls spread STD's

 

 

No Im just E-6 21B (combat engineer). All my jumps are civilian for fun. No Idea I was talking to a spec ops guy. Deploying back to the sandbox soon though.

[Nemicron]

Well Ask some of the spec ops guys about a guy Nicknamed "the mad header" lol Or "Combat Ducky". they will take care of you. E6 huh? Hmmmm maybe you can do me a favor then. email me.

[email protected]

 

YEa I use to have to halo jumping for training. And twice for military reasons.

 

No Im just E-6 21B (combat engineer). All my jumps are civilian for fun. No Idea I was talking to a spec ops guy. Deploying back to the sandbox soon though.

[skydiveaddict]

Well Ask some of the spec ops guys about a guy Nicknamed "the mad header" lol Or "Combat Ducky". they will take care of you. E6 huh? Hmmmm maybe you can do me a favor then. email me.

[email protected]

 

YEa I use to have to halo jumping for training. And twice for military reasons.

 

Mostly we were with ANA way up north last time. Doubtful I will see any spec ops guys. But I will definitely e-mail you.

[Nemicron]

You will see some snipers with is my old unit. Looks for the units that use Car 15's with the 800 yard scopes. If you make friends you'll be take care of. Trust me. I made the second most confirmed kills there.

 

Mostly we were with ANA way up north last time. Doubtful I will see any spec ops guys. But I will definitely e-mail you.

[Nemicron]

and all of my unit crew was at eagle eye status. I kinda miss it sometimes

[Surrealist]

LOL I read up on this guy named David DeAngelo. Which apparently he sells ebooks and what not on dating guides. But I've scanned through a few of his books and honestly. He basically lies through his teeth to women. And apparently it works. If what he says is true that is

 

That guy is full of it. Don't go buying his rubbish, even if it does contain some truths, it is knowledge that anyone can get from the net, and all he does IMO, is rehash it in a different style or setting.

[deebeechrisyo]

How nice are we talking here? I consider myself a nice guy but I don't think I'm the extreme "nice guy" who would forgive a cheating girlfriend or re-schedule a date where I was stood up.

 

Nice guys aren't helpless, from my experience they can keep attractive girlfriends for a couple of years before she gets bored and loses the spark or whatever bs she claims. That's not too bad at all.

 

The ones who aren't getting girls fall into two categories I think: They don't ask girls out or they are ugly. Looks are definitely important, that's just the truth.

[Nemicron]

lol I didn't pay for anything. I torrented it. ;p

 

That guy is full of it. Don't go buying his rubbish, even if it does contain some truths, it is knowledge that anyone can get from the net, and all he does IMO, is rehash it in a different style or setting.

[Nemicron]

Nice is to a point where you would put up with alot of stupid crap that women come up with. No I'm saying that all women are stupid. But that doesn't mean you should let every girl walk all over you.

 

How nice are we talking here? I consider myself a nice guy but I don't think I'm the extreme "nice guy" who would forgive a cheating girlfriend or re-schedule a date where I was stood up.

 

Nice guys aren't helpless, from my experience they can keep attractive girlfriends for a couple of years before she gets bored and loses the spark or whatever bs she claims. That's not too bad at all.

 

The ones who aren't getting girls fall into two categories I think: They don't ask girls out or they are ugly. Looks are definitely important, that's just the truth.

[Woggle]

The key is being a nice guy to a woman that deserves and giving it right back when a woman shovels crap at you. Never give up yourself respect for any woman and never let one walk all over you. If a woman starts acting funny then dump her on the spot.

[LittleTiger]

Anybody care to define 'nice guy'? Seems to me you're all talking about a guy with low self-esteem who lets himself be treated like a doormat! That's not my definition of a nice guy.

 

Nor is somebody with low self esteem attractive, to men or women. If you read these forums carefully there are some very constant universal traits which are attractive to the opposite sex - confidence being one of the most important.

 

I have come across plenty of 'nice guys' who are also confident and therefore very attractive - regardless of their physical attributes.

 

I would say 95% of the men I've dated in the past have been 'nice guys', but none of them would take bad treatment lying down - if they had I would instantly lose respect for them.

 

I would also instantly lose respect for a guy who didn't treat me well so it works both ways. If you all think that by 'not giving a sh*t', and acting like the 'bad boys' you think women desire you're barking up the wrong tree.

 

'Bad boys' exude confidence and raw sexuality - that's what girls find attractive about them - but most times they'll get hurt playing with these types of men and that definitely isn't what they want.

 

What the vast majority of women want is a man who has that same air of confidence and raw sexuality on the outside but is a genuinely 'nice guy' on the inside. One who will treat her like a princess in public and a sex goddess in private.

 

If more people treated each other as they would like to be treated themselves the world would be a much 'nicer' place all round.

[Arabella]

You're wrong. You can look good anywhere. That's what you lack and don't seem to understand. Confidence. Why do you think you see all these pretty girls dating dirtbags? Because of how they carry themselves. They treat their girls poorly, they lie, they cheat do drugs etc.. They keep the girl chasing them. That's all there is to it.

 

That's true. At least until we grow up and learn better.

 

I'm 27 and I dated the dirtbag type my whole life. I was miserable and had my heart broken so many times ... until I figured out the issue was that I was choosing the wrong men. I just got together with the nicest guy on the planet. Incidentally, he also happens to be a pretty darn confident and masculine guy. So, the two aren't mutually exclusive!

 

Arabella

[LittleTiger]

That's true. At least until we grow up and learn better.

 

I'm 27 and I dated the dirtbag type my whole life. I was miserable and had my heart broken so many times ... until I figured out the issue was that I was choosing the wrong men. I just got together with the nicest guy on the planet. Incidentally, he also happens to be a pretty darn confident and masculine guy. So, the two aren't mutually exclusive!

 

Arabella

 

Exactly!!! That's how I would describe my own man and, as I said, it's what most 'grown up' women really want.

 

Any guy who thinks that turning himself into a 'bad boy' or acting like he doesn't 'give a sh*t' is the way to win the woman of their dreams is just cutting off his nose to spite his face.

 

'Nice guy' doesn't mean boring, wimpy, doormat - it means somebody who treats a woman with kindness and respect. That doesn't mean he can't also be confident, masculine and sexy.

[Surrealist]

The kind of douches that are being labelled nice guys in some of the posts that are players or a-holes may attract women, but they're not the kind of women most sensible, normal (***** having troubles finding the words) scrupulous, considerate, sociable, guys with some degree of confidence and healthy self-esteem would want anyway.

[Woggle]

The kind of douches that are being labelled nice guys in some of the posts that are players or a-holes may attract women, but they're not the kind of women most sensible, normal (***** having troubles finding the words) scrupulous, considerate, sociable, guys with some degree of confidence and healthy self-esteem would want anyway.

 

This is true. You should seen the pieces of work I attracted in my player phase. I would rather have one woman like my wife love me for who I really am than thousands of women love me for being a jerk.

[dispatch3d]

I mean, you can argue that being nice "works" but the problem is that when guys try to apply this attitude they quickly realize it doesn't work. So you can argue all you want really, about how you like this that and the other thing and your SO was nice and blablabla but the fact of the matter is, no matter who you date you will still consider them "nice" cause otherwise you wouldn't date them right? This stuff gets backwards rationalized. Furthermore, there are so many bitter nice guys because they do everything TV tells them to do, be nice, be funny, yadayada, it doesn't work and they get frustrated.