colliejoanie Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 (edited) Guy I've been dating for only 6 weeks found out his ex long term relationship cheated on him multiple times. Fine. Be sad. Be very sad. Get therapy. Do whatever you need to do. But don't talk to me about it!!! Right?? He's telling me......every single friggin night on the phone for the past 4 nights how he's trying to figure out the pattern and why every girl has cheated. He's questioning his judgment, etc. etc. I've been pretty patient until tonight. He calls after leaving a hockey game. We're talking, and AGAIN, he brings it up. Now, please note that we have NO dates set up at all. He was here last night for dinner and he spent the night, but we didn't plan anything for this weekend or beyond. When he starts in again about how he's depressed and questioning his choice in women I finally say "I don't know what you want me to say. This is a tough situation for me. We've been seeing each other, and you're telling me you don't know what's wrong with you and your choice in women". He says "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'll shut up". I try to lighten it by saying "speaking of seeing each other, I'd like to go out on a big girl date sometime soon(I'm a single mom so he comes here after my daughter goes to bed unless we plan a "big girl date" where I get a babysitter)......preferrably with you". giggle giggle. He responds with "this weekend is out..........so is next (it's his birthday)......I'll figure something out in the next few days". So, I'm the "I can ....... you during the week chick, talk about my bs, but you're not invited to my birthday" chick. Done. Edited November 5, 2010 by colliejoanie
SunsetRed Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Be careful with this guy, it sounds like you're going to get hurt. I'm not saying dump him, but just guard your heart. You've posted about him before and now after reading your latest post, I've got to say that he reminds me of a guy I dated a few years ago. This guy hurt me really bad, but I did learn some lessons about when and how to guard my heart. I think when you're guy whines about his ex, it's a sign that he's still attached to her emotionally and may still be in contact with her. The guy who hurt me ended up going back to the ex he was whining about. Unfortunately, I was very stupid about my guy and ended up in a humiliating 3 year on again/off again relationship where he continued to dump me for the ex and then use me for fall back when she cheated. As soon as she was done cheating, he'd dump me again only to come back later. I wasted too much time on this foolishness. I hope your situation turns out be better, but just be careful.
hearttobreak Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 It seems he's looking for a friend, not a mate. He's not ready to date.
strength-abounds Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Sounds like this dude is highly insecure in both himself and the relationship. It's only been 6 weeks and he's already showing emotional insecuritie and irregularities? I think "DONE" is an understatement.
skydiveaddict Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 It seems he's looking for a friend, not a mate. He's not ready to date. No, I disagree. He wants to date, but he is a wuss and it is turning her off.
hearttobreak Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Then he's got to man up. Hell, if I can do it (and I did it tonight), anyone can.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 No, I disagree. He wants to date, but he is a wuss and it is turning her off. I don't think he wants to date. He was making an effort in the beginning. Now he's not. If he is just being emotional (quite possible) I still think he should realize that telling me he's questioning his choice in the women he dates is a little...........awkward to say the least. What the heck am I supposed to say to that?? Anyway, he's so physically my type that its been hard to think about dating others, but I've decided to jump back on that damn horse........ Again....dating sucks.
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