King Midas Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Hey guys, I'm new here. I have a few goals for myself: 1) be as real as possible. I'm going to tell you guys the absolute truth about everything. 2) Have no shame 3) voice my insecurities I'm an 18 year old guy. I get along very well with everyone because in person I can be very charming and funny. However, my humor is mostly genial, good-natured sarcasm and witty comments, and I feel that the inherently disingenuous nature of sarcasm has kept me from forming super strong bonds with girls. I've hooked up with 1 girl and dated another for about 3 months. That is the extent of my experience with romantic relationships. However (this may sound arrogant), I can't shake the feeling that if I just kind of put myself out there a little more, made my interest overtly known, and just ASKED GIRLS OUT, they would respond positively. I struggle with body image. I've always just been the slightest bit thick. During my sophomore year of high school I really slimmed down and looked great, but since junior year my stress level has risen exponentially with the amount of work I'm doing and I've turned to food as a stress reliever. I over-eat, but I go to the gym a lot. I play basketball on the varsity team. If it weren't for all the exercise I do, I'd probably be pretty fat. As is, I'm 5'11 173 lbs. I have a lot of muscle, but its wrapped in an inch or two of fat all around my mid-section. I'm very self-conscious about my fat. I need to either lose that weight entirely or find a way to get comfortable with my body. I'll be coming to you guys with questions without shame, being as honest as possible. I'm looking to hook up with a few girls and then find a girlfriend for the remainder of my senior year. I want to lose my virginity. As of right now I feel inadequate amongst my peers...another instance of insecurity, I suppose. Thanks for reading, I hope this is the start of something good! - Midas
strength-abounds Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Welcom to LS, Midas. You will find that the advice and encouragement from all the LS members will provide you what you need to meet these goals; and, with any luck, you will become a better person and a better lover to whomever crosses your path. Again, welcome to LS. Good Luck and God Bless.
Cratsky Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Everyone has their own insecurities. I guess it's up to you to decide if you love yourself the way that you are. Maybe it's a chance for you look at how balanced your life is in terms of work, rest and play. If you're unhappy with your diet and waistline, the only person stopping you is.. you. I know it's easier said than done but I've found if I'm down about something such as the fact I'm not as fit as I used to be, I'll eventually reach a point where I get sick of being sad about it and decide whether it's more relevant to wallow in it (and not change anything) or get off my behind and actually make a change. Do you want to be a force of change or do you want to stand on the side line in your life? On the topic of meeting girls etc, well.. it comes down to where your priorities lie. You could meet a girl and she could take your time away from sports/gym and then where will you be in terms of your physique? She could be quite demanding and convince you to change your work because you can't fit her into your busy schedule? The grass always seems greener. While you may feel slightly unhappy with your physique, why don't you put yourself in the shoes of someone who could never hope to put on muscle and/or who naturally have a runner's body, or someone who is ill (tough example but I hope it brings the point across) .... See whether that puts things into perspective for you.
Green_eyes Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Hi Midas, Well - everything you touch is supposed to turn to gold. It could turn into much worse things As Cratsky said, everyone has something about themselves that they are not happy with. I've got a bit of a spare tyre too - I exercise fairly regularly, but I have a love for beer which isn't so good for the waist line. You will find someone who will love you despite your perceived shortcomings. At the end of the day, there is not one person in this world who is "perfect" - whatever that is. One person's perfect is another's worst nightmare! I know I am a bit old fashioned, but don't be in a rush to loose your virginity - despite the peer pressure. Take time to find the right girl and the rest will happen naturally. Just bear in mind that making your interest overtly known can be a double edged sword - it can also come across as desperation (which isn't a particularly attractive trait!) Be yourself, don't be too "in yer face", and be assertive and confident. Fingers crossed for you!
Recommended Posts