alsk1029 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 So where do I start? About 7 months ago I met this girl. We hit it off pretty well and everything was great. We got to be good friends and ended up sleeping together. After the second time we slept together, she told me that she had a boyfriend, but it was complicated. Her boyfriend worked abroad and only visited her once every few months. Anyways, our relationship started out amazing. We had this crazy connection just like a lot of people on here. Soon, I got lost in the storm. I really believed that this could all work out somehow. I know these things never end well, but for some reason, I believed in us. I have NEVER felt anything like this for anyone in my life so I am willing to go all out for her. We went on for about another 6 months before I left the country. All of a sudden, she wants to break it off. I just feel lost and broken. I have a history of depression and suicidal thoughts, but I have never seen any counseling about it. I know a lot of people have been through this and just really need some help to get through it. I want to work through it and try with this girl again and see what happens, but I know it's wrong. What should I do?! I have thought so much about trying to contact this girls boyfriend and just putting everything on the table, but I know that I shouldn't and it has nothing to do with him. This just hurts so bad and I don't think that I can move on from her. Please help me!!
2themoon&back Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Painful, very painful situation you are in and I am sorry you hurting in this way. I do not know if anything I could say will help you or not, because from what I am reading leaves me a little confused? All of a sudden, she wants to break it off. [/Quote] If this is what she truly wants and you love her, you must respect her decisions. Do you have any idea why the sudden change? Is it to reconcile with BF? I have a history of depression and suicidal thoughts, but I have never seen any counseling about it. [/Quote] No time like the present to start IC. I know a lot of people have been through this and just really need some help to get through it. I want to work through it You are so right A LOT of people have been through this, and there is no fast track to feeling better in the aftermath of an A for anyone involved. and try with this girl again and see what happens, but I know it's wrong. What should I do?![/Quote] If she wants to end it, how can you by yourself try again? If she is no longer available to you then there is no R/A anymore. This just hurts so bad and I don't think that I can move on from her. Please help me!! You can and will move on, it just will take time and you have to know in your heart it is over and I do not think you are there yet, you sound like you still have hope. As long as hope lives in your heart for a particular person, you are not finished, therefore no need to really move on. I hope you will keep posting because there is a lot of support here for you in coping with such a painful situation.
desertIslandCactus Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Alsk, I have actually gained from the adverse situations in my life. Leave your relationship with this girl on a good standing. And strive to strengthen your life. Not to worry, have faith - I'm sure there are good things ahead..
East7 Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I don't mean to be harsh, but very realistic : dude she has just used you. The great feelings, connection and sex was your perception, not hers. She was not married, no children, it would have been soooo easy for her to dump her distant BF for you. But she dumped you instead. You have happened to be there and fill her need for attention and sex and when she was done she broke. I bet my money she broke a couple of days before her BF was coming back ! I also think you have been too easy with her, too quickly involved and she didn't have time to be attached to you (it is so typical with gals). It is pointless that you tell her BF, you have nothing to win except a good fight with him. Just back off, stay away from her, DON'T contact her. If she comes back be sure that it is not for a second ride.
fooled once Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 So where do I start? About 7 months ago I met this girl. We hit it off pretty well and everything was great. We got to be good friends and ended up sleeping together. After the second time we slept together, she told me that she had a boyfriend, but it was complicated. Her boyfriend worked abroad and only visited her once every few months. Anyways, our relationship started out amazing. We had this crazy connection just like a lot of people on here. Soon, I got lost in the storm. I really believed that this could all work out somehow. I know these things never end well, but for some reason, I believed in us. I have NEVER felt anything like this for anyone in my life so I am willing to go all out for her. We went on for about another 6 months before I left the country. All of a sudden, she wants to break it off. I just feel lost and broken. I have a history of depression and suicidal thoughts, but I have never seen any counseling about it. I know a lot of people have been through this and just really need some help to get through it. I want to work through it and try with this girl again and see what happens, but I know it's wrong. What should I do?! I have thought so much about trying to contact this girls boyfriend and just putting everything on the table, but I know that I shouldn't and it has nothing to do with him. This just hurts so bad and I don't think that I can move on from her. Please help me!! I am sorry you are hurting. That hurt will fade in time. She has broken up with you. Please leave her alone. If she wants to be with you, she will reach out to you. I don't mean to be harsh, but very realistic : dude she has just used you. The great feelings, connection and sex was your perception, not hers. She was not married, no children, it would have been soooo easy for her to dump her distant BF for you. But she dumped you instead. You have happened to be there and fill her need for attention and sex and when she was done she broke. I bet my money she broke a couple of days before her BF was coming back ! I also think you have been too easy with her, too quickly involved and she didn't have time to be attached to you (it is so typical with gals). It is pointless that you tell her BF, you have nothing to win except a good fight with him. Just back off, stay away from her, DON'T contact her. If she comes back be sure that it is not for a second ride. I agree
xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 So sorry you are hurting this way. We are all familiar with that terrible emotional pain on this forum. Please keep posting on here, alot of the advice and feedback is very helpful. And definitely get yourself in therapy asap, especially if you have been having suicidal thoughts. (((hugs)))
Author alsk1029 Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 I don't mean to be harsh, but very realistic : dude she has just used you. The great feelings, connection and sex was your perception, not hers. She was not married, no children, it would have been soooo easy for her to dump her distant BF for you. But she dumped you instead. You have happened to be there and fill her need for attention and sex and when she was done she broke. I bet my money she broke a couple of days before her BF was coming back ! I also think you have been too easy with her, too quickly involved and she didn't have time to be attached to you (it is so typical with gals). It is pointless that you tell her BF, you have nothing to win except a good fight with him. Just back off, stay away from her, DON'T contact her. If she comes back be sure that it is not for a second ride. So I guess there is a little bit of background that I didn't post. This girl has broken up with her boyfriend before and has hurt him a lot in the past and she told me that she has "promised" to try and live with him at some point and see if it works out. She said that if it doesn't then she would see if I was still available and all that crap. The boyfriend isn't coming soon, but in about half a year or so. I guess she said that if we continued the way we were going, it would be pointless to have him move over there to be with her because she knows she wouldn't give him a fair chance. I remember this girl is a crazy bit*h though. I remember on multiple occasions when her boyfriend was there, he would be reading in her room and we would go into the stairway to get busy. Then she would start arguments with he was visiting and she would come sleep at my place. I believe that she really is in love with me. I love her too so if she asks me to leave her alone, I would do it. I do feel used, though, and just don't really understand what I should feel. Should I be glad that I don't have to deal with that girl long term? Should I be willing to try it out if she comes back?
East7 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 (edited) So I guess there is a little bit of background that I didn't post. This girl has broken up with her boyfriend before and has hurt him a lot in the past and she told me that she has "promised" to try and live with him at some point and see if it works out. She said that if it doesn't then she would see if I was still available and all that crap. Don't you see a HUGE Red flag here, just in front of your nose ? So if I get this stright, this girl was trying to make it work with her BF, and wanted you to be her back-up plan ? And it doesn't bother you ? Wake-up dude ! I remember this girl is a crazy bit*h though. I remember on multiple occasions when her boyfriend was there, he would be reading in her room and we would go into the stairway to get busy. Then she would start arguments with he was visiting and she would come sleep at my place. Why do you refuse to see her for what she is ? She was f**** with both of you and it doesn't seem it bothered her. I believe that she really is in love with me. I love her too so if she asks me to leave her alone, I would do it. I do feel used, though, and just don't really understand what I should feel. Should I be glad that I don't have to deal with that girl long term? Should I be willing to try it out if she comes back? She is NOT in love with you ! You sound to be young. Listen to more experienced people on this board and open your eyes. You are blinded by your feelings. Yes, no doubt she did used you ! This girl is a Drama queen, a manipulator or both of them. She is telling you that her BF is her priority and you are refusing to listen. She has no motivation to be with you. Would you want someone like this in your life ? She would cheat on you as soon as you turn your back. Stay away from her and find someone who is more mature and able to build a healthy relationship. Edited November 8, 2010 by East7
Author alsk1029 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Okay, the issue I am having a hard time dealing with right now is should I tell the other guy in detail about what's going on? I have actually met him and he is a really nice guy and could do a lot better than her. It actually infuriates me to no end that he sticks around?! I figure I would just give him some more detail about what has been going on behind his back and stuff? I don't think she deserves him so I think I would be doing him a huge favor by telling him. Then if he is still around, then I know something is really messed up with his head!
chicago007 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 i meet girl 4 months ago second day she told me she is married honest girl i said its ok we can be friends but week later we had sex and very often later she told me she is not happy with her husband he lives 400 miles away coming every second week to see her lazy man she working veru hard paying for everthing i fall in love with her she loves me i love her she told her husbund about us now he wants her back but he is not doing nothing to make her happy even now she get streessed every day because of him she wants to get divorce but its very hard for her dosent wanna hurt him he keeps calling asking what she doing who is with her and those stuff no more trust now she is sisc stomack problems need surgery and she took time from work to relax from stress i love her so much and she loves me to what u guys think whats best to do here to everthing get backto normal in some good way please somebody
BB07 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 i meet girl 4 months ago second day she told me she is married honest girl i said its ok we can be friends but week later we had sex and very often later she told me she is not happy with her husband he lives 400 miles away coming every second week to see her lazy man she working veru hard paying for everthing i fall in love with her she loves me i love her she told her husbund about us now he wants her back but he is not doing nothing to make her happy even now she get streessed every day because of him she wants to get divorce but its very hard for her dosent wanna hurt him he keeps calling asking what she doing who is with her and those stuff no more trust now she is sisc stomack problems need surgery and she took time from work to relax from stress i love her so much and she loves me to what u guys think whats best to do here to everthing get backto normal in some good way please somebody You need to start your own thread and here is a hint......use proper punctuation and break up your post into paragraphs. You'll get a better response if you do.
Author alsk1029 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 i meet girl 4 months ago second day she told me she is married honest girl i said its ok we can be friends but week later we had sex and very often later she told me she is not happy with her husband he lives 400 miles away coming every second week to see her lazy man she working veru hard paying for everthing i fall in love with her she loves me i love her she told her husbund about us now he wants her back but he is not doing nothing to make her happy even now she get streessed every day because of him she wants to get divorce but its very hard for her dosent wanna hurt him he keeps calling asking what she doing who is with her and those stuff no more trust now she is sisc stomack problems need surgery and she took time from work to relax from stress i love her so much and she loves me to what u guys think whats best to do here to everthing get backto normal in some good way please somebody Is your keyboard broken or something?!
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