Author eerie_reverie Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 I guess I went for it. The odd thing is, everything that happened last night was against the unspoken rules of LS. But this morning, he held my hand as we listened to music driving back from the suburbs, and I realized, it's been a long time since I've felt this happy or at peace. I think this might work.
denise_xo Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I guess I went for it. The odd thing is, everything that happened last night was against the unspoken rules of LS. But this morning, he held my hand as we listened to music driving back from the suburbs, and I realized, it's been a long time since I've felt this happy or at peace. I think this might work. Sounds really nice. I hope it works out for you And remember: NO UNNECESSARY DRAMA :laugh:
OceanGirl Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I hope that you really like him and are not just filling the void left by your boss :S
Art_Critic Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 You seem to have a pattern of picking men that are unavailable Eerie.. Don't mess with this guy or you will trash your friendship and hurt your reputation. You should really try and put some effort into finding a guy to date that is all there emotionally and physically for you or this purgatory you are in will never end.
Art_Critic Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 And remember: NO UNNECESSARY DRAMA :laugh: Hummmm......... the whole relationship thus far has been based on unnecessary drama.. do you think that will just change ?
denise_xo Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Hummmm......... the whole relationship thus far has been based on unnecessary drama.. do you think that will just change ? Nothing 'just changes'. I was encouraging the OP to try to address her hang for drama. She can chose to go about this in a more or less dramatic manner.
Art_Critic Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 She can chose to go about this in a more or less dramatic manner. You are right...
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Would you be drawn to him if he was completely available and there were no obstacles? This is the question that needed to be asked! I think so. Moreover, I think in addition to this "draw", he is a realistic candidate for a relationship (unlike for example my conservative catholic republican boss, who I doubt would be able to reconcile my past with who I am now and strive to be in the future). We have VERY similar tastes in just about everything and have been through similar experiences emerging in nearly identical positions on the other side. My crush began on the day we showed off our collapsed veins to each other, from having donated plasma too often in our pasts. He's the closest to a male version of myself I've ever met. I am usually into guys that are the opposite - the wholesome all-american athlete types whom I tend to creep out- but I'm finding myself oddly captivated by this guy. I'm not even necessarily looking for a relationship here. I just want to spend more time with him. It's been SO long since I connected to anyone and I see potential for a real connection here. How well do you actually know him?
Author eerie_reverie Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 I don't know. I understand the reasons for the doomsday predictions but I feel eerily calm. It feels natural for me to be with him, I think we're compatible, and he's a good catch. So, try to be happy for me, please. After leaving his apartment today I went to the store and bought all the s!ht to make meatballs. I've never experienced the urge to "nest" before. The one tiny issue is that he still hasn't been able to get it up.
Author eerie_reverie Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 This is the question that needed to be asked! How well do you actually know him? We've been friends for about 4 months.
Star Gazer Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 I hope that you really like him and are not just filling the void left by your boss :S Or really....trying to make the boss jealous.
John018 Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 After leaving his apartment today I went to the store and bought all the s!ht to make meatballs. Did he do something to upset you? The one tiny issue is that he still hasn't been able to get it up. I see.
threebyfate Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 The one tiny issue is that he still hasn't been able to get it up.Ba da bing, ba da boom! Been waiting for the punchline.
Author eerie_reverie Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 I think I might be dumping him already. It's fine when I don't think about the weirdness. But I don't think I can move past an exchange like this: S: It's f'd up that I always wanted more free time in my last relationship but now i'm having a hard time being alone now Me: lol is that an invitation for me to come over S: Yup. But I feel like I am going to overwhelm you. So if you're feeling like that even slightly then the invitation is revoked. Me: don't worry. I need to go run but after that I wanted to watch 500 days of summer which I've been meaning to see for a long time. Interested? <long pause> S: ok but I have to tell you that lauren just asked me to see a movie and i told her i was too tired. but yeah let me know when you're ready? S: I'm sorry this all has to be so weird I feel like he just punched me in the stomach. Are Lauren and I completely disposable to him? I feel a connection, but is that in my mind? I don't even know how to respond, except I don't think I want to hang out anymore.
Author eerie_reverie Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 I ended it. How's that for the shortest-lived relationship with the worst sex I never had??
johan Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 What did you say? He seems like a bit of a peckerhead to me. I'm sure you could find a guy who has at least half a brain and a lot more decency, if you wanted a guy like that. I won't say you deserve a guy like that, because you don't if you never actually make it a goal to find one.
e.clipse Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 But I don't often connect with anyone. I am the loneliest person you know. actually, i find that you easily "connect" with men. or better said, you think you connect with men; with men who are consistently unavailable for one reason or another. Would you be drawn to him if he was completely available and there were no obstacles? i agree here, too. you said that you would be possibly more interested in him were there no unavailability and/or obstacles, but i do not think this is true. based on the history you provide us with, the only genuine relationship you have had was the one you had with Wesley. i think you really loved that guy and that the drama you two faced was not self-induced, but rather a side effect of youth. considering all the other men who, one after the other, have been the objects of your interest, they all have one thing in common: they come from circumstances in life that are dramatic and your involvement in them make them even more dramatic, unstable, and impossible. this is a recurring theme for you. it is as though you want the drama in order to feel the "connection" you think you do; like you need the ups and downs in order to think that you actually feel something, when you surely must know this is not necessarily so. You seem to have a pattern of picking men that are unavailable Eerie.. Don't mess with this guy or you will trash your friendship and hurt your reputation. You should really try and put some effort into finding a guy to date that is all there emotionally and physically for you or this purgatory you are in will never end. this advice is invaluable. instead of destroying relationships--yours, others', romantic or otherwise--you need to start building relationships, stable relationships, with people so that you can move your emotional life forward from this rut you have been in since your relationship with Wesley. you know drama is like a drug. it gives you a temporary rush, but the aftermath puts you in a worse situation that your starting point. Why can't you find a nice married guy?
OceanGirl Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Didn't you say that he used to be gay or something?
northern_sky Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 I think I might be dumping him already. It's fine when I don't think about the weirdness. But I don't think I can move past an exchange like this: S: It's f'd up that I always wanted more free time in my last relationship but now i'm having a hard time being alone now Me: lol is that an invitation for me to come over S: Yup. But I feel like I am going to overwhelm you. So if you're feeling like that even slightly then the invitation is revoked. Me: don't worry. I need to go run but after that I wanted to watch 500 days of summer which I've been meaning to see for a long time. Interested? <long pause> S: ok but I have to tell you that lauren just asked me to see a movie and i told her i was too tired. but yeah let me know when you're ready? S: I'm sorry this all has to be so weird I feel like he just punched me in the stomach. Are Lauren and I completely disposable to him? I feel a connection, but is that in my mind? I don't even know how to respond, except I don't think I want to hang out anymore. This guy is all kinds of screwed up. He sounds like a terrible combination of needy and selfish. Guys like that do view women as disposable since they just need someone to fill an inner void. Run, Spookie.
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