lunadolly Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 OK so we had only been dating about a month when I accidentally got pregnant. It was brutal but he was good and said he would support me in whatever I chose. I was going to keep it but, miscarried at 8 weeks. he suddenly got really busy and canceled on me once then said he was too tired the next day. I hadn't seen him in a week and really needed some emotional support. He had a work thing said it would be done at 8:30 or 9 and he would call me as soon as it was over. He doesn't call until almost 10:30 pm. I was p*ssed and when he said he was tired and would call me in the morning I said you don't need to call me tomorrow. HE NEVER CALLED ME AGAIN. I texed him about a week later and got no response. Another week later I left a messsage asking if we could meet for a drink. Again no response. I sent a message that the hospital bill for the miscariage was almost $5000. Still no response. A month has gone by without a word from him. So I got decided to take the hospital bill along with a little note explaining what had happened and saying that I hadn't heard from since about a week after losing the baby and he had offered to help pay the bill. I sent it to his 2 best friends and his ex-wife. Out of line, Justified or totally crazy? What do you guys think?
skydiveaddict Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I said you don't need to call me tomorrow. HE NEVER CALLED ME AGAIN. What do you guys think? If a girl tells me not to call, I don't
machiavellian Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I sent it to his 2 best friends and his ex-wife. Out of line, Justified or totally crazy? What do you guys think? Totally crazy
curiousnycgirl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Interesting that the guys think it's crazy, or that this guy is even remotely justified in not responding to your multiple attempts to get in touch. While I think your response is a bit over the top, I think you were pushed to it. Frankly it does come across as a bit crazy - it is something I would think about doing in a VERY heated moment of anger and would almost never actually do - so I find it curious that you had over a month to think about it and you still chose to reach out to three others rather than even warn him that it would be your next step. What exactly is your motivation for doing that? Do you think these people will push him to do the right thing or are you just lashing out? Think about why you did it - if your answer is a rational one - then it's not crazy, if you are jsut lashing out, and you've actually done yourself more harm than good, well then to tell you the truth, well yes you are a bit crazy. So rather than asking us here if you are crazy - the real question is what now? Are you in dire straights with this $5K bill? What's really going on?
britchick Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Hmm, out of line I'd say but forgivable considering you are going through the aftermath of a miscarriage. Not to mention, he's been out of line too!
collegeguy_24 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I'm sorry, but that was sort of an immature way of dealing with it. What you SHOULD have done (and should still do) is to file a civil suit to get half the money for the bill out of his pathetic arse. And next time - use BC. I'm a guy, and I agree with the above. Its best to deal with the situation legally over anything else. However, I think what you did by sending it to his family and ex-wife is not really crazy, but possibly being out of line, but the guy was an a-hole and had it coming. I am a vindictive person, and if I were a woman and in your position, I cannot say for certain I would not have done the same thing. But the general rule of thumb is to use the law to your advantage, civil cases are pretty easy to win as the women, and I don't mean to discriminate here, generally wins. The US court system is set up so women have a greater chance of success in most cases involving this sort of thing, so if you file a civil suit now, chances are good you would win.
Star Gazer Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I doubt the paternity of the fetus was established. Thus, a lawsuit for medical expenses would fail. But to respond to to OP: Honestly? Bat sh*t crazy. You should have sent it to him, and him alone.
Nemicron Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 yea thats BS. YOu shouldnt get someone knocked up and then bail on them specially if they had a miscarriage. But thats crappy about the hostpital charging some that much. Honestly I think you have every right to be totally upset. Sounds like he is a spineless coward of a guy.
Nemicron Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I totally agree. And you are right women get usally handed to them in a silver platter as it seems. You probably could win the case totally. I'm a guy, and I agree with the above. Its best to deal with the situation legally over anything else. However, I think what you did by sending it to his family and ex-wife is not really crazy, but possibly being out of line, but the guy was an a-hole and had it coming. I am a vindictive person, and if I were a woman and in your position, I cannot say for certain I would not have done the same thing. But the general rule of thumb is to use the law to your advantage, civil cases are pretty easy to win as the women, and I don't mean to discriminate here, generally wins. The US court system is set up so women have a greater chance of success in most cases involving this sort of thing, so if you file a civil suit now, chances are good you would win.
karaann07 Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Out of line! But... understandable. DEFINITELY understandable. If you'd sent him a letter and copy of the bill and asked for a response by a certain date and he STILL hadn't responded, then I would say a call to an attorney would be in order. Usually just a quick note on letterhead is enough to get the job done for most people. Let me get a tub of popcorn, though, I wanna know how this turns out...
Recommended Posts